Mindful Matters. Bernadette Shaw Counselling and Psychotherapy.

23/04/2026

23/04/2026

Apologies, I accidently deleted this post, earlier.
The impact of abuse can follow someone into future relationships, often in ways that aren’t immediately obvious.

When someone has been on the receiving end of emotional or narcissistic abuse, their mind and body may still be trying to protect them, even when they are no longer in that environment.

This can sometimes show up as:

Difficulty trusting – questioning intentions or expecting to be hurt
Overthinking and doubt – analysing messages, tone, or small changes in behaviour
Fear of vulnerability – holding back emotionally to avoid being hurt again
Pushing people away – creating distance when things start to feel close or “too good”
Self-sabotage – ending relationships early, testing others, or assuming the worst as a way to stay in control
Accepting less than they deserve – because unhealthy patterns can feel familiar

These responses aren’t intentional or “flaws” — they are often learned ways of staying safe after experiencing harm.

The hopeful part is that awareness can begin to shift these patterns.

With the right support, safe relationships, and time, it’s possible to rebuild trust, feel more secure, and experience connection in a different way. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened — it means learning that not everyone will treat you the same.

Support is available in the UK through organisations like National Domestic Abuse Helpline, mental health support via Mind or privately with a counsellor..

22/04/2026

Self-care is about small, consistent acts that bring you back to yourself. Simple things—like breathing deeply, stepping outside, or pausing—can calm your mind and ease anxiety.

Over time, these moments build resilience, lift your mood, and remind you that you matter. It’s not a luxury, but a gentle, daily way to support your wellbeing.

21/04/2026

For whoever needs to hear this right now ...

21/04/2026

Have a great Day ☀

20/04/2026

The after-effects of abuse don’t always end when the situation ends.

For many people, the impact can linger in quiet but powerful ways.

Being on the receiving end of emotional or narcissistic abuse can affect:

Trust in others – finding it hard to feel safe in relationships again
Self-doubt – second-guessing your own thoughts, feelings, or decisions
Anxiety or hypervigilance – feeling on edge or expecting something to go wrong
Boundaries – struggling to set or maintain them without guilt
Self-worth – carrying a sense of not being “enough” or feeling unworthy of healthy love

These responses are not weaknesses — they are often understandable adaptations to what someone has been through.

The important part to remember is that these effects can change over time.

With the right support, understanding, and safe relationships, healing is possible. People often begin to rebuild trust slowly, reconnect with themselves, and feel more grounded again. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen.

Support can make a real difference. In the UK, confidential help is available through organisations like National Domestic Abuse Helpline, Women's Aid, and mental health support through Mind.

You are not defined by what you’ve experienced, and support is available when you’re ready.

20/04/2026

Trigger Warning. Narcissistic and emotional abuse aren’t always obvious — they often happen quietly and can be hard to recognise, even when you’re experiencing them.

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behaviour used to control, manipulate, or hurt someone emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically. It can include:

Constant criticism or belittling
Gaslighting (making you doubt your own thoughts or reality)
Blame-shifting and guilt-tripping
Silent treatment or withdrawal as punishment
Controlling behaviour (who you see, what you do)

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that is often linked with strong narcissistic traits in a person. It can follow a cycle of:

Idealisation (love-bombing and intense attention)
Devaluation (criticism, control, emotional harm)
Discard (withdrawal, rejection, or replacement)

Emotional and narcissistic abuse can sometimes exist alongside physical abuse, although not always. Abuse is usually about a pattern of control, and it can take many forms — some visible, many invisible.

Over time, these experiences can impact self-esteem, confidence, and mental health, often leaving people feeling confused, anxious, or disconnected from themselves.

Abuse doesn’t always leave visible marks — but it can deeply affect how someone feels about themselves and their world, and can lead to depression and/or su***de.

If any of this resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support is available in the UK through services such as National Domestic Abuse Helpline, Women's Aid or mental health support via Mind. Reaching out can be a first step toward clarity and support.