Heal Trauma Bonding

Heal Trauma Bonding Expert Relationship Coaching for Women to a Create Secure Loving Relationship.

Using 15 years of clinical psychology expertise & award winning strategies for meaningful and lasting change.

You aren't broken, just a new version.You cannot solve emotional problems with logic.Trying to think your way out of emo...
22/08/2025

You aren't broken, just a new version.
You cannot solve emotional problems with logic.

Trying to think your way out of emotional pain is like trying to fix a leak with a spreadsheet.
When we know someone is wrong for us but can’t walk away, we’re trapped in a logic loop that ignores our self-worth — and it costs us confidence, clarity, and peace.

Logic keeps you stuck.
Emotions set you free.
To rewire toxic relationship patterns, you have to speak the language of feelings — not facts.

1️⃣ Acknowledge the feeling without judgment.
2️⃣ Find the root cause — where did you first feel this way?
3️⃣ Communicate your emotional need instead of a logical argument.
4️⃣ Set boundaries based on your feelings, not just your thoughts.
5️⃣ Prioritise your emotional well-being over rationalising someone else’s behaviour.

When you lead with emotions, you:
Build unshakable self-worth.
Attract emotionally available relationships.
End the cycle of self-abandonment in love.

If you’ve been trying to “think your way” into better relationships — stop.
Start feeling your way into the love and life you deserve.
✨ Your emotions aren’t the problem. They’re the compass.










If your confidence rises and falls depending on how someone treats you, you’re not in self-worth — you’re in survival mo...
15/08/2025

If your confidence rises and falls depending on how someone treats you, you’re not in self-worth — you’re in survival mode.

When you attach your value to another person’s approval, you hand over control of your emotional wellbeing.

The fix? Build your worth from the inside:
Set boundaries even when it’s uncomfortable
Practice self-trust over people-pleasing
Heal anxious attachment and rewire your relationship patterns

You deserve relationships that reflect your worth — not define it.










You can’t “logic” your way out of feeling not good enough.Your body remembers every experience — and until you heal at t...
13/08/2025

You can’t “logic” your way out of feeling not good enough.
Your body remembers every experience — and until you heal at the nervous system level, you’ll keep replaying the same patterns in love, confidence, and self-worth.

This is why traditional mindset work sometimes fails — it’s not just about your thoughts.
It’s about your body’s memory.

If you want to stop attracting emotionally unavailable relationships, overcome self-doubt, and finally feel safe in your own skin…
Start where the wound lives.
In your body.










It took me years to realize... the secret to building genuine self-worth and attracting healthy relationships wasn't in ...
08/08/2025

It took me years to realize... the secret to building genuine self-worth and attracting healthy relationships wasn't in a new job, a new partner, or a new city. It was in my nervous system.

Your nervous system doesn’t lie. While your conscious mind might tell you to "just get over it," your body holds onto every emotional wound, silently guiding your choices. A dysregulated nervous system makes you feel safe in relationships that are familiar, even if they are toxic, because it keeps you from risking the unknown. It's the reason you may struggle with people-pleasing or a lack of confidence.

But what if you could change that? This is a harsh truth I wish I had known years ago: the key to attracting what you're truly worth is healing your emotional core.

I've outlined 10 expert tips to help you start your healing journey, regulate your nervous system, and finally build the secure and confident life you deserve. Dive into the post to learn how to stop surviving and start thriving.







It took me 5 years to realize this about relationships.So many of us look at our relationships with others—be it with a ...
06/08/2025

It took me 5 years to realize this about relationships.

So many of us look at our relationships with others—be it with a partner, a colleague, or a friend—and wonder why we’re stuck in the same toxic cycle. The harsh truth is, the dynamic you experience on the outside is a direct reflection of your inner self-worth.

When you have low self-worth, you tend to accept less than you deserve. You might people-please, avoid setting boundaries, or stay in a dynamic that depletes you because you subconsciously believe you’re not worthy of more.

But when you truly understand and value yourself, something shifts. You develop a filter system. You become better at regulating your emotions and you start to attract people who respect your boundaries and honor your needs. This is the difference between surviving in a relationship and thriving in one.

What do you think is the biggest mistake people make when it comes to self-worth and relationships?

14/07/2025

Here’s the truth: You can’t solve emotional wounds with logic.

If you’re smart, driven, and still stuck in unfulfilling relationships—it’s not you, it’s the disconnect between your head and your heart.

Emotions are the answer, not the problem.

Ready to stop overthinking and start healing?

DM me Let's go to get a link - begin your healing today.

Without your health, you have nothing.Without good quality relationships, you have a poor quality of life - including po...
25/05/2024

Without your health, you have nothing.

Without good quality relationships, you have a poor quality of life - including poor mental and physical health outcomes (as evidenced by the 80 year long controlled trial of Adult Human Development research).

Look after yourself, and create nurturing healthy and fulfilling relationships

Let’s be honest - we’re not all perfect. And that’s ok! We’re all just human trying to navigate this thing called life.B...
13/05/2024

Let’s be honest - we’re not all perfect.

And that’s ok!

We’re all just human trying to navigate this thing called life.

But sometimes we unintentionally do certain things that are unhelpful - for ourselves and for our relationship.

I’ve just recorded a podcast episode of 10 signs of toxic patterns and actions you can watch out for - along with what you can do to embrace a healthier and happier way of being.

1.Feeling inherently superior or inferior to your partner, even if it's subtle.

2.Assuming the worst about your partner's capabilities or intentions, leading to defensiveness or disempowerment.

3.Keeping score of past grievances and using them in arguments, which prevents resolution.

4.Using manipulation or control tactics, overt or subtle, to influence your partner's behavior.

5.Embracing a victim mentality, seeking validation or rescue from your partner rather than taking responsibility.

6.Being addicted to drama, seeking reassurance through conflict or emotional upheaval.

7.Using s*x as a way to gloss over unresolved issues, creating false intimacy.

8.Having a short temper with your partner due to a sense of safety and familiarity.

9.Putting emotional distance between you and your partner during conflict, or ignoring their attempts at reconciliation.

10.Ignoring or minimizing problems in the relationship, hoping they'll resolve on their own or expecting your partner to fix them.

If you want more details, check out episode no. 74 “Am I The Toxic One?” on the Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab podcast; found on all good podcast providers.

As always, I’m here if you want to reach out!

Dr Sarah


NOTE: Only for people who want to build trust after it’s been brokenThere's been an injury in your relationship.You migh...
30/04/2024

NOTE: Only for people who want to build trust after it’s been broken

There's been an injury in your relationship.

You might have been hurt by your partner's actions. They might have been critical or judgemental. They might have ignored you when you needed them or betrayed you when you trusted them.

Your partner (who did the act) wants to change, they're showing signs of remorse but they're also not sure of what they need to do to make it better.

They scramble around trying to do "everything to fix it" and they might show you excessive signs that they're sorry or signs of affection.

But you're still doubtful over their every move they take.

And not only that - they then start to feel fed up because "they can't seem to fix it" or "make you believe them".

So one of the primary questions for the person who is injured: How do you KNOW for sure that your partner's remorse and change is genuine?

And for the person who is looking to repair the rupture in the relationship, the question is: What do you need to do to show your partner that you're genuinely wanting to take the steps to make this relationship work?

It takes a few things:

1. Building trust is from SUB GROUND levels (not from where you left off or even ground zero). Be ok with this.

2. Humility and fallibility

3. Cognitive and emotional empathy

4. Creating psychological safety - all defenses are removed

5. Eliminating testing behaviours (the truth will come out in observations)

Join me in episode #72 “CALLING ALL COUPLES WHO WANT TO REBUILD TRUST”

You can find this on on the Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab podcast; presented on all good podcast providers.

Dr Sarah

I get asked by my clients on a daily basis: Can I fix this relationship?Whether it be a brief period where they’re exper...
22/04/2024

I get asked by my clients on a daily basis: Can I fix this relationship?

Whether it be a brief period where they’re experiencing criticism or short-temperedness from their partner.

Or if it has been ongoing for a longer period of time (and you’ve both just brushed it under the rug).

Well - whether or not you fix it depends on a couple of things.

Are you BOTH willing to commit to change?

Are YOU willing to step out of victimhood? (people HATE it when I talk about this one)

The thing is, you might WANT to have the relationship - but are you looking at it through rose tinted glasses, and falling in love with the ‘idealised’ version of what it could be, as opposed to the reality that it is?

Often, you’re banking on your partner to change. That they will be less defensive, more open to your feedback, or that they’ll right their wrong doings.

But often this may not happen, and rebuilding trust is so arduous after a period of pain.

In any case, the most powerful thing you can do is to step out of victimhood in order to step into an empowered state where you can dictate the dynamic of the relationship.

So you can step out of the trap of criticism and step into a dynamic of security and affection.

So you no longer feel like you’re having to “fix” everything, but rather you can easily welcome what serves you (and decline what doesn’t).

Join me in episode #71 “Can you ever fix a toxic relationship? Healing trauma bonds with clients”

You can find this on on the Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab podcast; presented on all good podcast providers.

As always, I’m here if you want to connect.

Dr Sarah

❤️

"I love them, but it hurts me"If you have ever been in a relationship, filled with mixed emotions.On one hand you love t...
15/04/2024

"I love them, but it hurts me"

If you have ever been in a relationship, filled with mixed emotions.

On one hand you love them and you're desperate to make it work.

On the other hand the relationship / or your partner hurts you and you don't know how to move through.

The harsh truth you need to know is that love is not enough.

The foundation of any relationship should be:

1. Respect
2. Understanding
3. Intent for connection

In that order.

Love emerges within this.

But actions are required to support the 3 indicators to create a healthy relationship - otherwise you just love blindly. This unfortunately can lead you down a path of injury, deprication, and long-term resentment.

Check out the new podcast episode "Love is not enough" on the Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab show.

Found on all good podcast providers

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3ppDfB3YRRu7zKv1FldFww?

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/love-is-not-enough-and-to-think-it-is-is-to-delude-yourself/id1696356368?

Break ups, heartache, and rebuilding yourself.The ending of a relationship is never easy. You have to greive SO MUCH.You...
01/04/2024

Break ups, heartache, and rebuilding yourself.

The ending of a relationship is never easy.

You have to greive SO MUCH.

You grieve what you had, the moments together, the companionship and shared space.

You grieve what you put into the relationship - the time, energy, affection, trust, money, dedication, vulnerability, exposure of yourself.

You also grieve what you HOPED it would become - the future that you created in your mind together, the romanticised and fantasised land. The getting married, having children, building a home, growing old together.

Sometimes endings have to happen - not because you go into a relationship, invest so much believing and hoping it'll end.

But rather because you've been left with no choice.

That maintaining the relationship would sever you more than it would nourish you.

The ending, albeit painful, also represents a litmus test as to
- what you need
- what is helpful for you
- what you value

And more importantly: Does this person align with all of these things.

Join me on episode no. 67 as we talk about the heartache as well as rebuilding yourself - enabling and supporting your own growth.

Remember, your mind is your only and forever home.

Podcast - Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Xdo1rdzeAAKsOSuIzbOSG?si=cjSY5m1lTwmf75BZhiq0tg

iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dealing-with-heartache-with-guest-speaker-erica-turner/id1696356368?i=1000650973556

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Manchester

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Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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