Salvus-CPC

29/09/2025

“Here’s to Monday — not the enemy of Sunday, but a reminder that life is still unfolding, and so are you.”

26/09/2025

As both a psychotherapist and an autism clinical specialist, I’ve been following the recent headlines about paracetamol (acetaminophen) use in pregnancy and autism with great interest.

It’s important to clarify that this is not new information. Research into a possible link has been ongoing for more than a decade. Some large cohort studies and reviews have suggested there may be an increased risk of autism or ADHD in children exposed to frequent or prolonged paracetamol use during pregnancy. However, these findings are associations only – they do not prove that paracetamol causes autism.

Other high-quality studies, including sibling-comparison designs, have found no significant link once family and genetic factors are taken into account. Professional bodies such as the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and the NHS still advise that paracetamol remains the safest option for managing pain and fever in pregnancy when used appropriately.

The take-home message is this:

The evidence suggests a possible increased risk, but it is far from conclusive.

Confounding factors and limitations in study design make it difficult to draw firm conclusions.

Clinical advice has not changed: if paracetamol is needed in pregnancy, it should be used at the lowest effective dose for the shortest possible time, ideally under medical guidance.

My professional perspective is that families deserve balanced, evidence-based information – not alarm. Awareness is valuable, but so too is reassurance that research findings are complex and still evolving.

25/09/2025

Therapy with a Smile

Confession time: as a psychotherapist, people often imagine me sitting in a chair, full of wisdom, nodding seriously like I’ve got all the answers. Truth is… half the time I’m just trying to stop my chair from squeaking at dramatic moments, or wondering if my “hmm” sounded wise or just like I’ve swallowed a biscuit the wrong way.

But here’s the thing — therapy isn’t meant to be all serious and heavy. Yes, we talk about the tough stuff, but we also laugh. A lot. Sometimes the best medicine is that moment when you realise, “Oh, it’s not just me who does that?!”

Life can be messy, weird and a little ridiculous at times — and that’s okay. Healing doesn’t only happen in the tears; it often happens in the chuckles, the sighs of relief, and the shared humour that makes the journey lighter.

So here’s your reminder today: keep going, keep smiling, and remember — even your therapist hasn’t got it all figured out (but I can do a very professional nodding face when needed). 😉

25/09/2025

I know how easy it is to get caught up in the rush of daily life. Work, family, responsibilities—it can all feel relentless at times. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, I’d invite you to pause, even for a moment, and gently ask yourself:

1. What am I noticing in my body right now?
2. What do I most need in this moment?
3. What’s one small, kind step I can take towards that need?

These questions aren’t about fixing everything, but about giving yourself a little space, a little compassion, right when you need it most. Be gentle with yourself—you deserve that care.

24/09/2025

“Every moment slips away, and yet we act as though we have forever.”

We fill our days with plans and distractions, forgetting how fragile each passing hour really is. The truth is, none of us knows how much time we’re given — and yet, in that uncertainty lies the invitation to live more deeply.

What if we treated each conversation as if it mattered? Each choice as if it shaped a life? Each breath as if it could be the beginning of something new?

Perhaps the real task is not to stretch time endlessly, but to step fully into the time we already have.

19/09/2025

Grooming & Coercive Control: What to Look Out For

Grooming isn’t always about s*x or children online. It’s a process where someone builds trust to gain power and exploit another person. This can be s*xual, financial, criminal, ideological or emotional — and it often overlaps with coercive control (a crime in the UK under the Serious Crime Act 2015).

How groomers operate

- Start with charm, gifts, flattery or “special attention.”

- Create secrecy: “don’t tell anyone, they wouldn’t understand.”

- Chip away at independence — isolating from friends, controlling money, or undermining self-confidence.

- Switch between affection and punishment to keep someone off-balance.

Impact beyond the victim

Groomers rarely target one person in isolation. They often groom the people around their victim too:

Family/friends may be charmed so concerns are dismissed (“they’re lovely, you must be mistaken”).

Professionals (teachers, carers, colleagues) may be manipulated into trusting the groomer, giving them access or overlooking warning signs.

Children in the household may be used as leverage — told to keep secrets, drawn into collusion, or turned against the targeted parent.

This secondary grooming strengthens the abuser’s control and makes the victim feel even less likely to be believed if they speak out.

Red flags

Sudden secrecy or deleted messages.

New relationships that cut someone off from friends/family.

Overly charming behaviour toward relatives/professionals that feels “too good to be true.”

Someone being made to feel constantly guilty, indebted or “in the wrong.”

What to do

Trust your instincts — if behaviour feels manipulative, it probably is.

Preserve evidence (screenshots, notes, dates).

Don’t confront alone — it can increase risk.

Seek support:

Police (999 in danger, 101 non-urgent).

CEOP for concerns about child grooming online.

Refuge / National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247).

NSPCC / Childline for children and young people.

Remember: Grooming thrives on silence and isolation. If you notice patterns in someone close to you — or in yourself — reach out. Being believed and supported is the first step to breaking the control.

05/06/2025

The Ironic Life of a Private Psychotherapist (UK Edition)

Being a private psychotherapist is a bit like being an emotional locksmith — you help people unpick the padlocks on their inner worlds, cheer them on as they walk off into the sunset, and then sit quietly thinking, “Brilliant. Who's going to fill that 10am on Wednesday now?”

You see, our entire job revolves around the slow, delicate process of making ourselves redundant. We spend months — sometimes years — building a therapeutic alliance rooted in trust, empathy, and just enough Bowlby to sound clever. Then one day, a client looks up and says, “I think I’m ready to end therapy.”

Outwardly, we smile warmly. “That’s wonderful,” we say. “You’ve done the work. You’re ready to go out and live your life.”

Inwardly? Existential dread.
Because while we’re waving goodbye to someone’s emotional growth, we’re also waving goodbye to that regular Direct Debit.

When two or three clients decide to wrap up around the same time, it starts to feel like a beautifully-boundaried stampede — a stream of empowering endings that leaves us sat in the quiet, staring at our diary and wondering, “Do I even exist if no one’s working through attachment issues with me?”

The therapeutic relationship is one of the few relationships where success means loss. We preach healthy detachment. We model graceful goodbyes. But it’s a strange kind of paradox — to help someone get their life back on track while quietly refreshing your online booking system like it owes you money.

So here’s to the therapists — proud, composed, quietly panicking — watching clients walk boldly into their futures while whispering, “Please let someone call needing help with their mother.”

Therapy: where endings are healthy… and also financially inconvenient.

17/04/2025

Grief Is Not About Letting Go: Making Space for the Ongoing Journey

Grief is not a linear process, nor is it something to "get over". It’s a deeply personal experience that unfolds in its own time and in its own way. I often sit with people who feel disoriented by how long grief lasts, how unpredictable it can be, or how it shows up in ways they weren’t prepared for.

There’s no right way to grieve. No checklist. No timetable. You may find yourself crying one moment and laughing the next. You may feel numb, then overwhelmed, then strangely calm. This is all grief. It's complex, and it's natural.

One idea that I think is particularly helpful — and supported by years of research — is the concept of continuing bonds. For a long time, we were told that healing meant “letting go” or “moving on”, but we now understand that people often find comfort and meaning in maintaining a connection with the person who has died. That might be through memories, rituals, visiting places that mattered, or even talking to them internally. The relationship changes, but it doesn’t have to end.

If you’re grieving right now, a few things may help during the tougher moments:

Allow space for your emotions, without judgement. Grief doesn’t always make sense — it just needs room to be felt.

Speak their name. Share stories. Let them remain part of your life in the ways that feel right to you.

Lean into support. That might be friends, family, therapy, or a space where you can talk without having to make it comfortable for others.

Be gentle with yourself. Grief can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

If your grief feels complicated, prolonged, or stuck, know that support is available. You don't have to navigate it alone.

12/03/2025

Becoming a Psychotherapist or Counsellor.

People often ask what it takes to become a psychotherapist. The short answer? A lot of training, a lot of self-reflection, and a commitment to ongoing learning. In the UK, that usually means years of study—first a diploma or degree or even a masters degree, alongside hundreds of hours of supervised practice. To be a registered therapist, you also need membership with a professional body like the *British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)*, which ensures ethical practice and continued development.

But one of the most important parts of training! Personal therapy. Irvin Yalom said, “A therapist must never take the client further than they’ve been themselves.” That doesn’t mean a therapist has to have lived your exact experiences—but life happens to all of us. We all know what sadness, anxiety, anger, joy, and happiness feel like. A good therapist has done their own work, faced their own struggles, and understands what it means to sit with discomfort and change.

Therapy isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being able to walk alongside someone as they find their own. And that’s why becoming a psychotherapist isn’t just about qualifications; it’s about being human first.

17/02/2025

Kickboxing & Mental Health

Exercise is one of the best things you can do for your mental health, and kickboxing takes it a step further. It’s not just about fitness—it builds focus, resilience, and a way to channel stress in a controlled, constructive way. There’s something about the mix of movement, discipline, and intensity that clears the mind like nothing else.

That said, the mental side of training and competition is just as important as the physical. I work with *Rok-Ard Kickboxing* to support fighters with mindfulness techniques, anxiety management, and ways to handle pre-fight nerves. Because when your head’s in the right place, your performance follows.

🌟 Seeking Local Business Sponsors! 🌟

We're on a mission to create more opportunities for our local community, and we need your support! We are currently seeking local businesses to sponsor us as we continue our work in providing accessible kickboxing programs, with a special focus on supporting those with Special Educational Needs (SEN) and mental health challenges. 🥊💪

Your sponsorship will directly help:
✔️ Provide kickboxing training to individuals who might not otherwise have access
✔️ Support people in overcoming mental health challenges through the sport
✔️ Enable local talent to compete on national and international stages! 🌍🏅

Together, we can make a huge difference in the lives of many. If you're a local business interested in joining us in this amazing journey, we’d love to talk more about how you can be a part of our mission. Let’s create opportunities and change lives, one punch at a time! 💥

16/02/2025

The Benefits of Barefoot Grounding

Walking barefoot outside isn’t just something kids do in summer—it’s a simple way to reset. The idea behind grounding (or earthing) is that direct contact with the earth can help regulate the nervous system, lower stress, and even reduce inflammation. There’s some science behind it too—research suggests that the earth carries a subtle electrical charge, and when we connect to it, our bodies can absorb free electrons, which may help balance our systems and reduce cortisol levels (the stress hormone).

It’s something I make part of my morning routine when I haven’t got a client. I make a pot of coffee, step outside onto the lawn, and walk barefoot—breathing, noticing what I can see, hear, and smell, practising being present. Even today, in the cold, it wakes me up in a way that coffee alone never could.

Most of the time, we’re in shoes, on concrete, disconnected from the natural world. Walking barefoot forces you to slow down, pay attention, and actually *feel* where you are. It’s a practical, physical way to get out of your head and into the present.

Give it a try. Worst case, you get some fresh air. Best case, you might just feel a bit more balanced.

15/02/2025

Couples Therapy at Salvus-CPC

Relationships aren’t always straightforward. Even the strongest couples have times when they struggle to communicate, feel stuck in the same arguments, or just don’t seem to be on the same page. That’s where couples therapy comes in—not as a last resort, but as a space to work things through with the support of someone who understands how relationships function and what gets in the way.

At Salvus-CPC, I work with couples from all walks of life, including those where one or both partners are neurodivergent. Autism, ADHD, and other neurodiverse conditions can bring unique challenges to relationships—not because there’s anything *wrong*, but because differences in communication, processing, and emotional regulation can sometimes lead to frustration or misunderstanding. Therapy helps to bridge those gaps, giving both partners the chance to be heard and understood without blame or judgement.

It’s not about pointing fingers or deciding who’s ‘right’—it’s about finding ways to connect that actually work for *both* of you. If that sounds like something you’d find useful, I’m here to help.