07/06/2021
The fact is - this is what we've been told, for many many decades: to be a good mother, we need to be perfect.
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The anecdote to this is “The Good Enough Mother”, a term which was first coined in 1953 by Donald Winnicott, a British paediatrician and psychoanalyst. Winnicott observed thousands of babies and their mothers, and he came to realise that babies and children actually benefit when their mothers fail them in small, manageable ways. In other words, science backed proof that our children don’t need us to be perfect.
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Our children need us to fail them - this is how they learn, when we role model how to apologise, self reflect, allow ourselves to be imperfect, we can make meaning out of our mistakes - all of this strengthens our attachment with our children while also teaching them that it is okay for them to not be perfect, and we will still love them when they make mistakes. We are modelling resilience, compassion and empathy, all incredibly important.
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Our job as mama’s is not to be perfect but to do our best. By doing this we also release our children from this legacy of perfection. We are showing our children, especially our daughters, that they don’t need to be superwomen, we need to role model that change. When we accept ourselves as imperfect, we show our children that they don’t have to be. So if you can’t go easier on yourself, for yourself, then remember you are doing it for them too. 💛✨
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This is an example of the conversations we have in my Group Coaching Program, ‘Finding You - From Burnout to Balance’. There are still spaces available in the next round starting next week. Full details can be found in previous posts or through the link in my bio, or DM me with any questions.
