Craig Lee Counselling and Psychotherapy

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Craig Lee Counselling and Psychotherapy

Qualified Counsellor/Psychotherapist providing online therapy for eating disorders and body image issues.

19/03/2026

The idea that letting go of food rules, rigid diets, and compulsive exercise will mean “letting yourself go” is a common fear, but it’s completely flawed.

It’s the fear and the rigidity itself that’s contributing to the problem and keeping you stuck. Recovery does not mean abandoning your values around health. Nutrition and movement are key components of mental and physical wellbeing but the less flexibility you have around these things, the more they become a weapon you use against yourself (which ironically moves you further away from actual health).

It’s your all-or-nothing, black and white mindset that tells you you’re either all in or all out. This is reinforced on the one hand by numerous influencers, podcasters, and health-optimisation fanatics that aggressively promote rigidity (many of whom have their own issues), and on the other hand by your own experiences which have yet to prove to you that there is a middle way to be found.

You need to know that there is a life for you that still involves eating well and exercise but has balance and flexibility built into it.

This is a life in which you’re no longer obsessed by food and your body, or having to deal with the constant guilt, frustration, and sacrifices. It’s a life in which you enjoy food and movement/exercise whilst still living a meaningful, values-driven life. It takes courage to be willing to try something different and to trust that such a life is possible.

As scary and challenging as it might be, myself and others who have walked this path can tell you that it’s always worth it.

18/02/2026

It’s not uncommon for difficult thoughts, feelings, and behaviours to temporarily get a lot worse at the start of therapy, increasing in both intensity and frequency. This is called an ‘extinction burst’; it’s basically the eating disorder holding on for its life because it knows it’s under threat.

As unconfortable as it can be, it’s completely normal. Importantly, you’re likely to manage it a lot better if you expect that it might happen AND have a good therapist to prepare and work through it with you.

This is one of the reasons therapy needs to help you tolerate discomfort, rather than focus on trying to get rid of it. As unpleasent as emotions like anxiety and guilt are, they are an unavoidable part of moving beyond the eating disorder and your therapist must be able to help support you in handling those experiences.

On the other side of an extinction burst is where you you can find a life that made it worth it to keep going.

(Note: There is a difference between things getting worse due to an extinction burst and things getting worse due to the therapy/therapist not being suitable. Make sure your therapist has specific training in eating disorders and is someone who understands this issue).

31/01/2026

Eating disorders and disordered eating behaviours serve a purpose. They are fulfilling a need you once had and still have, often around themes of safety, coping, and control.

Letting go of the behaviours a part of you desperately wants rid of can’t happen without a reason to let go that actually deals with how those behaviours have been serving you. This involves addressing the physiological AND psychological aspects that make letting go feel so difficult.

Most of the people I work with recognise that part of themselves that doesn’t want to or is afraid to let go. This is an easily neglected aspect of therapy which has the potential to bring about real, long-lasting change.

09/01/2026

Eating disorders thrive by sucking you into practicing things that strengthen it such as repeating food rules, avoiding things you fear, overexertion, and isolating yourself.

Breaking this cycle means asking yourself “What do I want my life to grow toward?” rather than what you want to control and then practicing those things repeatedly.

This might mean practicing connecting with others, being more flexible, expressing care, and engaging in valued activities. You’re absolutely going to do this imperfectly at first but perfection isn’t the goal when you’re moving towards a more meaningful life that feels worth living.

07/01/2026

We can’t escape guilt. Alongside suffering and death (what Viktor Frankl called the ‘Tragic Triad’), guilt is an inescapable part of what makes us human. When it’s authentic, guilt acts as a signal to tell us when our behaviour is taking us away from what truly matters.

Food guilt is something different. Whether it’s from feeling like you’ve lost control, broken food rules, or not “earned” what you ate, this kind of guilt only serves the eating disorder and its relentless standards.

Recovery requires learning to recognise authentic from inauthentic guilt and respond in a meaningful way. This is where you find your freedom to do what moves you towards a fulfilling life.

06/01/2026

As long as you’re human, you have no way of avoiding difficult emotions. The usual way many of us handle unpleasant feelings is to:

Repress (unconsciously keep them hidden)
Supress (deliberately force them down)
Express (direct them outwards)

The first two don’t bring any lasting relief and the third only brings partial relief, without changing the driving force behind the emotion itself. When emotions are dealt with in these ways, they can find an outlet in behaviours related to food and body image.

The key is in learning to become more responsive rather than reactive. There’s a space between what you feel and what you do; being able to recognise, widen, and make choices in this space is where therapy can really make a difference.

We can only do this by finding a reason to endure and process difficult feelings, rather than trying to eliminate them altogether.

03/01/2026

As much as it can feel like you “just need to try harder”, willpower will not overcome food issues because they were never a willpower problem to begin with.

This doesn’t mean letting go of effort but realising when your efforts are being focused in the wrong direction.

Recovery is about finding your way to freedom, rather than deeper into the prison which the “willpower” signs are taking you.

02/01/2026

Body positivity isn’t necessary for recovery, growth, or a meaningful life. Even the “ideal” body (whatever that means) will change with ageing and illness.

Accepting your body, even when you don’t like it, means turning your attention outwards rather than inwards. This means focusing more on your true values and what really matters.

A meaningful life can still very much involve looking after your health without your body needing to conform to standards that don’t serve you anymore.

31/12/2025

Food and body image issues can’t be overcome by avoiding what feels bad and pursuing what feels good.

The feelings of relief, control, and distraction that come from behaviours around food and exercise will always be temporary.

Instead of chasing happiness (which can never last), recovery requires moving towards what’s truly meaningful.

Whilst a meaningful life doesn’t guarantee happiness, it does offer the chance to withstand life’s challenges in a way that feels more worthwhile and fulfilling. This is where lasting changes become possible.

21/12/2025

For many people, their eating disorders aren’t simply behaviours or symptoms that need to be eliminated. They’re also:

• coping mechanisms
• survival strategies
• identity structures
• ways of finding meaning

Letting go of something harmful isn’t easy when, for so long, those behaviours have helped you deal with life.

Recovery isn’t just about stopping behaviours; it’s about understanding why the eating disorder matters and what will be needed once it’s gone.

06/11/2025

You’re likely pretty familiar with your own inner critic; it’s the annoying, persistent voice in your head that tells you that you need to be smaller, thinner, more muscular, more toned, more disciplined, more attractive, less annoying etc. (the list is pretty endless, right?).

When the inner critic gets loud or irritating, you probably try different ways to deal with it such as ignoring it, challenging it (CBT anyone?), rationalising with it, and distracting from it (more food, less food, exercise, TV, s*x, drugs, rock n’ roll).

The tricky bit here is that sometimes this stuff works, albeit temporarily. So, how do you silence that voice for good?

You can’t. You’re human which unfortunately means you have an inner critic that sometimes is going to pipe up.

The most effective long-term strategy is to stop trying to silence the inner critic but instead to start noticing it. I mean really noticing it. The next time you’re having some critical thoughts about yourself, take a second to just stop and notice exactly what the critical thought is saying, and then repeat the thought with “I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that……..” in front of it (you can do this out loud or silently in your head; it works either way). For example:

“I notice that I’m having the thought that I look disgusting”

“I notice that I’m having the thought that I’ll put on weight if I eat that”

“I notice that I’m having the thought that I’m worthless”

See if you can then notice that little shift which happens when you do this (it’s called cognitive defusion).

Even if you believe that what the inner critic is saying is 100% undoubtedly true, learning how to defuse is the first step in changing your relationship with that inner voice. This is one of the keys to giving you more freedom to do more of the things that actually matter to you and to move towards recovery, whatever that looks like for you.

For a free 20-minute consultation to talk about how I can support you in your recovery, DM ‘RECOVER.

03/09/2025

Soon 🙂

Address

Newton Aycliffe

Website

http://www.craigleetherapy.co.uk/

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