Equestrian Relationship Coach

Equestrian Relationship Coach Through supporting the individual, the horse, and their relationship together.

Cat Roy-Stanley

I support & facilitate heart led equestrians to overcome blocks and make meaningful changes in their relationships with themselves and their horse. Cat leads with an open heart, facilitating equestrians to transform and rebalance their relationship with their horses and themselves, through growing release, regulation and reciprocity. She has a holistic approach to help human & ho

rse see, hear and understand each other as deeply relational beings, and create the safety each other need to heal and grow. She is passionate about helping humans and horses explore and follow own their path, find with what feels aligned for them, embrace the un beaten track to trust their own process. Cat’s clients often say this work isn’t just about fixing a problem, it’s about embracing and opening a new approach that will ripple through other areas of life and relationships. Cat supports equestrian relationships through:

1:1 offerings

- Coaching sessions (human, horse & together)
- Equine trauma release sessions
- Immersive and supportive coaching programmes

Group offerings

- Online & in person educational workshops
- Equestrian Relationship Weekends
- Equisential Retreat
- Transformative personal development days for women
- Immersive programmes (e.g. My Horse is My Mirror Mastery)

Cat specialises in:

- Relationships
- The human & equine nervous system
- Personal development & transformation
- EFT Tapping
- Attunement based practices
- Equine trauma release

Which weave together through the lens of relationship. Cat has a calm, patient, conversational and curious style of coaching, creating an open and safe space for you & your horse. Cat is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and works within their code of ethics & principles.

10/05/2026

It’s time, it’s Sarcastic Sunday y’all!!

Have you ever felt like this getting a horse? I HAVE!

Getting your first horse can feel like being lost at sea.

But it doesn’t have to!!!

I am creating an online course for new horse owners to empower them with the first and most important building blocks to grow a relationship that will keep flourishing.

If you are interested, drop me a message to be the first to hear about its release.

Because the horse world is MAD YALL!!! And you don’t have to feel completely overwhelmed 🦓🧩

Cat x

👈

09/05/2026

When I moved my horses to a field in the middle of nowhere…

All of our lives changed.

When I became a professional, I experienced a lot of shame that I don’t have facilities, a nice arena, a yard , or even fencing that doesn’t flap away in storm Dave.

However.

I thought about it more.

And realised that for me, It’s been a concious choice.

Because providing my horses with freedom, forage and friends has been my absolute priority.

Which is what I preach in my work.

Setting up an environment that meets you and your horses core needs (freedom, friends, forage) is pivotal when it comes to building a house on top of it in training and relationship.

Yes it means I have to get creative when it comes to sectioning off a bit of field for an arena, tying hay nets to trees and tyres, doing most of my training on walks…

And forgetting what it’s like to have luxuries like a hot wash or dry indoor spaces.

But for me, the ability to be flexible with my routines, not needing to be hemmed in by time restrictions, and being able to manage my horses lifestyle the best I can…

Without the judgement of others
Without the stress of a changing herd
Without the pressure to perform as a professional
Without the constant strain of meeting routines

And for my horses…

The stability of a unchanging herd
Freedom 24/7
Foraging hedgerows and hay 24/7
Quiet lanes
A happier human to care for them

Means we all can enjoy life a bit more.

Rustic, stripped back and free.

So, for anyone feeling pressure to find the best facilities, or like you SHOULD be choosing a certain type of yard that doesn’t align with you…

This is a reminder that it doesn’t have to feel like that.

And also acknowledging I know that I am incredibly privileged to have access to this. AND I also know that this came from having conversations, make decisions and compromises that I wouldn’t have been open enough to have.

You don’t need fancy facilities to have an incredible relationship.

Get creative, and think outside the box with what you’ve got.

Stay wild,
Cat x

Together, we build the knowledge, trust, and connection needed to step out of the boxes that keep you stuck, honour what...
05/05/2026

Together, we build the knowledge, trust, and connection needed to step out of the boxes that keep you stuck, honour what makes you and your horse unique, and grow a secure and healthy relationship that sets you up for everything you do.

So you can feel confident you’re putting your horse first, listening and understanding them - without the pressure to be anything other than yourself.

Because when that happens, you and your horse can feel at home together, free to enjoy your journey-whatever it looks like.

Cat x

eqrcoach.com

Sunrise with Indi: Captured by the amazing Elizabeth M. Photography

04/05/2026

Let’s talk GELDING SCARS ❤️‍🩹

During my Bodywork & Release sessions, I often focus on gelding scars with the boys!

Why?

Because scars affect the whole body.

On an incredible course with and we explored the impact of disruptions to the fabric of tissue that holds us all together called FASCIA.

When we have a scar, even a small one, it causes a rupture and tightening and alteration of the natural and healthy fabric of tissue.

This affects not just the area, but the whole body! Like a knot in your clothes, it’s felt everywhere, and can affect how you feel and move inside and outside.

Fascia also acts like a memory web. In a way, it holds the emotions of situations, and captures it in its knots.

A gelding scar can be a source of lots of these emotional and physical knots.

And focusing on softening and re aligning the tissue here, can be really transformational.

So yes, it does look like I have my hands in inappropriate places… and I guess I do 😂

But that’s my job!

If you think your horse would benefit from a Bodywork & Release Session, get in touch!

Cat x

Thank you Gemma & Tesoro for such a wonderful session

01/05/2026

Do You Love Horsemanship When You're Not Getting What You Want?

Yesterday on a group call with about 25 people in my Online School, we were exploring training related issues together. And I found myself asking this open ended question of the folks in attendance. The insinuation is not that we SHOULD. I am suggesting a relationship to horses, and to training, that is successful when things do not go the way of the human.

I explained further this point of view, knowing that this could be a tricky ground for folks to walk through.

I want you to think about the horse person, or the training approach that you do NOT want to be. Imagine it. What does that look like, what is the approach to the horse. And more importantly, what happens when the horse does not give the person what the person asked for? Is that moment handled well? Is that moment handled poorly?

I believe that this is the deepest point of contention for those of us seeking to educate horses and ourselves. What we do, when the horse doesn't do what we ask, matters more than how we ask horses to do things.

Do you spiral into guilt and shame or confusion?
Do you get annoyed?
Do you hear echoes of old voices in your mind, telling you that you are not good enough?
Do you get angry, or hostile toward the horse?
Do you double down on improving your technique until you are mechanical and without feel?

I think it is really important, for us to build confidence with horse that does not rely upon the horses obedience. Without abdicating our responsibility to improve our timing, technique and feel.

Can you enjoy the horse, the training, when the horse is divergent to your ask? Not all moments of unexpected behaviour are dangerous or a sign of sourness or a sign of technique gone wrong. It could be a sign of a horse exploring their autonomy, their expression. It may also be a horse offering helpful suggestions, about what is and is not working for them. Giving us an opportunity to change, based on real feedback, rather than trying to optimise our training before we try.

But if our relationship to a horse not doing what we wanted, asked for or expected, is not good, we lose the horse.

'How can I help my horse enjoy touch?'What about...' How can I help myself enjoy touch?'The truth is... we are not entit...
30/04/2026

'How can I help my horse enjoy touch?'

What about...

' How can I help myself enjoy touch?'

The truth is... we are not entitled to our horse's consent around touch.

Others are not entitled to your consent around touch.

Being touched more, does not equal to us tolerating or enjoying it more.

It is instead how we feel within it.

With spring in full swing, our horse's may be shedding their winter PJ's and getting into their Spring shorts! And we may want to help the with a good scrubadubdubdub with a brush.

A recent session really blew me away with the lessons that unfolded around touch, and how many layers there are to it.

This particular mare has a history of feeling very defensive about being groomed and touched around her belly & t***s. She already had a wonderful trusting relationship with her human... so I was curious about what more was within the layers?

When I asked about her story, it became clearer.

It is thought that she lost a foal in her early years, and during a time of change, moving homes, and intense stress.

I noodled on this, and considered that perhaps the discomfort was coming from - every time this mare was touched in those areas, old memories, experiences and emotions of loss, grief and exploitation held within her body would come to life.

That is an interesting thing to observe in how the body works. Even in safety, we hold the past in the very fabric of us.

The session was geared around attunement, listening to her cues, helping her know she can say no, and using a gentle fascial tool that was more predictable than a human hand.

What unfolded was a gorgeous shift, where she soon felt able to welcome touch to her belly and t***s, and even sought out scratches there.

It wasn't dramatic, there were no fireworks, just a undoubtable unspoken shift.

From 'I don't feel safe here',

to 'I feel safe now, I am okay, could you scratch me again?'’

And all we let out a big sigh.

Touch is multifaceted. Sometimes it requires rehabilitation with care, attunement and consent.

This mare has a wonderful anchor of safety in her human, where she is cared for, listened to and loved. A bit of gentle fascia work was enough to let it all seep in a little deeper.

I have a few spaces for Bodywork & Release sessions in the next few weeks, so if you would like to support your horse to get unstuck, and feel more balanced inside and out..

Get in touch with me:
cat@eqrcoach.com

Or find out more (including booking) through my website:

www.eqrcoach.com

Stay wild,
stay you,

Cat x

Photo by the incredible Hamilton
And thank you to this horse's amazing guardian for permission to share this story.

28/04/2026

How can you bring forwards everything you’ve learned? Rather than thinking of it as a blank slate, instead, weaving these into the tapestry of who you are?

Since coming back from .horsemanship .phillips beautiful Farm in Spain, life has started moving again- and I am swept up on the treadmill of what I left behind.

It’s a funny thing coming home from an adventure. When you are away, you cannot imagine being anywhere else. Present, in the moment. It seems as though home often takes our attention and energy far quicker with all the responsibilities and roles we play.

This has been an utterly fascinating experience. As I am not the same person, stepping back into the moulds I left.

So much is different now. I have changed in my mind, body and soul- and this is where the real work begins 🌱

When growth happens, realisations land and questions get answered. There is a clarity.

The game is to now hold that shape, that truth, that clarity, and weave it back into life.

How might things look now? What boundaries are put forwards? What changes must be made? What is a non negotiable now?

And what are you working towards?

Because a vision is yours to behold, it’s up to you to envision it, be clear on it, and make it a thing.

And the game is not to get lost along the way in the woods 🪴

I will be sharing much more about my time in Spain, but for now- we soak and integrate, AND action.

What is a trip or moment that felt like it changed you forever?

Cat x

Such beautiful words by Lockie. And it makes me think about how perhaps the only way we can start detaching our worth fr...
22/04/2026

Such beautiful words by Lockie.

And it makes me think about how perhaps the only way we can start detaching our worth from what our horse does, doesn’t do, gives us or doesn’t…

Is by having those in our worlds, instructors, body workers, coaches… whose worth is also independent of what we do/ do not do/ what the horse does/ does not do…

Otherwise the system continues and goes around once more, and our horses are still waiting, waiting, waiting for us to change.

And release them from the indescribable, invisible pressure on them that they may feel everyday.

"You're the first trainer I've met that didn't find your worth in what I can do."

A silence followed. I gazed at the wood grain on my desk while the words of my client, themselves on the other side of the world, echoed through my head. Then looking up, I watched their horse make a tentative glance in their direction. First sign of confidence and a bid for genuine regard they had made this lesson. A lesson that started with the horse walking off.

I realised that the human and the horse that were in front of me now, both had been exposed to a cruel world. Carelessness dressed as competence. Rudeness dressed as authority. Manipulations dressed as assistance. And for a moment, my mind boggled. My mind boggled because I just couldn't grasp the reality of someone who takes the hard earned money of someone who asked for their help, and then could continue to be so fundamentally poisonous to their well being. I can understand being over worked, a little tired, a little thin on patience. Been there. But the type of cruelty this client had experienced in their life made me breathless.

Here I am in the flotsam and jetsam. The wake of an unregulated industry, an industry where the type of communication, behaviour and practices we are expected to accept would absolutely not fly in so many other industries. Other fields of work that understand the importance of respect, safety and decorum... especially in moments of disagreement and tension.

They were right. Any time I teach something, it no longer belongs to me. It belongs to the person I have taught. I have no attachment to what they do with it, whilst remaining deeply invested in helping them improve and optimise their skills. But their results are theirs, not mine. I do not search for my self-worth in the outcomes of the people I teach. And I celebrate with joy when they show improvement. And stand with them when they are stuck or struggling.

Both things can be true.

One person. One horse, at a time. Rebuilding.

13/04/2026

A healing song for Sani 🥲

His process of going through treatment and being held by the herd (humans and horses) has really moved me this week.

Lockie gives him his treatment twice a day, in the form of injections- intravenous and intramuscular - and each day he comes in for his treatment, has a crunchy apple, a sense of understanding that this is for him to get better, stands like an angel and goes back out with a crunchy apple to much on the way.

Seeing the grace and love between him and .horsemanship throughout has been such a lesson in the importance of relationship

The look of warmth in his eyes before and after his treatment, not because it wasn’t uncomfortable, not because it wasn’t painful, but because they have a safe, secure relationship.

Care during an illness is often a chapter in our story with horses at some point.

And having care between you, means there is an understanding. That they are on the same team.

And a calmness in the understanding.

Secure relationship supports our nervous system to feel safe. To regulate, to come back to a place of connection and allow the stress to process.

Which brings the question forward- how might relationship support our bodies before, during and after medical treatment?

Cat x

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