18/05/2023
What an appropriate time to update on what's been occurring my end...I've always advocate for those with that consideration of .... . If I can share this and it helps just 1....π...
I was told of a spine cord tumour, located c3 area inside spinal with haemorrhagic content Oct 22. This was a diagnosis that took over 2 years to get.. Unfortunately, no-one clinically was listening to what I was experiencing. My GP at the time, physio, ortho, gynae...so much I was soooo relieved to finally have something confirmed so I knew I was not going completely mad, yet equally angry I had been so dismissed.
Burning sensation, numbness, tingling...ALL were being put down to with my age and gynae stuff going on.
I'd had major surgery Dec 20, again July 22 which while gynae related, NO-ONE was hearing what I'd said about these other little weird and wonderful things going on BUT I knew things were not right. The GP was telling me talk to gynae, gynae saying talk to GP, physio saying wait until had gynae op done....
Understandably it has been a challenging time. The NHS are in crisis and quite frankly I would be better looked after if it was a well-known cancer or thing they are familiar in dealing with.
When you are told they think bening, yet cannot have biopsy until surgery due to paralysis, yet surgery may result in paralysis, but no surgery paralysis in future...it is a fricking scary thing.
They THINK it is benign but then cannot say even what they THINK it is....they KNOW It's a RARE diagnosis as NNUH put me to Addenbrookes and even Addenbrookes are not so far explaining things well in regard to what symptoms I should be concerned about other than issues, get to A&E...
In the meantime don't do anything that aggravate symptoms. So no exercise then? Who knows. Have asked to see a neuro physio as I would like to but safely understandably. It hits hard to a person who has always been active in life...
I have thus far been told 6 months watch and wait, regular MRI's and bloods, to then have surgery sooner rather than later, to a letter with scant information other than that things seem slightly improved, you're on 1 yr watch and wait. No face to face, no call, no explanation, nor opportunity to discuss.
Yet with a bleed close to the brain area, of course I am concerned all the while as DVLA figure out whether I can drive still.
There is a lot going on I'm not getting straight answers to, quick answers, nor practical help with. I have spent these past 6 months tidying up my life, organising my funeral and doing as much as I can so I can just try to enjoy time with Mum as much as possible.
However, when you live an hr away from the person you are a carer for...that's a challenge in itself too! Effective relaxation...where the heck did that go...I know all about stress, anxiety, relaxation techniques but I ALSO know sometimes the glass can be too full!!!
I don't have money for private as I used my savings to get through these last few years during Covid setting up my full time stuff while helping Mum.
Add to that, I am in which was medically induced July 22 and the problem is seemingly that NO 1person knows quite what to specifically do with me.
I keep getting told I am a complex case, popped from pillar to post.
Pain mngt will not subscribe...yet we also know subscribing long term not the answer, then GP unsure about subscribing HRT...
I had to change GP few months back after reporting them twice to the CQC as he kept telling me he didn't know how to check the system to find out things I had going on...It sound slike a carry on film, yet I can assure ity's not been all that funny for real.
All while I have issues from last surgery, numbness and tingling from SCT, headaches (tension, who knows??) ADD in stress and anxiety (totally unsurprising) and it is hard to distinguish between what is stress related or to do with each thing. Counselling for depression, yes but not sad, numb...angry...frustrated...so many things! You can see why I stepped back for a while.
Add to that being Mums carer and her an hr away. You would think my current housing provider would assist with my request to move to property they have there? No such luck. They have been as unhelpful as a chocolate teapot! Nor can I currently get banding heightened despite medical letters and the fact that psychologically this is impacting in ways one would expect but isn't going away any time soon! I am dealing with a lot as I continue to bid as I have these past 3 years. My OT apparently doesn't look at mental wellbeing!
I am taking each day trying to navigate what I can only describe as extremely unchartered waters when it comes to NHS and other organisations such as Orbit and County Occupational Therapy I am dealing with (are they effective...seemingly not so?) and the only reason I share this is because you cannot always see what is going on for someone.
If by sharing this it helps someone to pause to consider another person's situation, or that person can pause and realise they are dealing with a lot too in their situation so give themselves a break for a while too, then its a good job done.
Mental Health awareness is imperative in this day and age, so do what you can, as much as you can to take care of yourselves - Mental Health Awareness 15-21 '23.
Maxine x