15/06/2025
😊
‘I’m in this battle supporting my wife. Poetry gets my head back in shape when I’m finding it all too hard. This one is from a carer’s point of view.’
Barry Short has written this poem about dementia, titled ‘The Carer’.
The poem reads:
I once was a husband, a lover and mate,
but now I’m a carer, and that’s far from great.
My wife, once so strong, is now simply forlorn,
and the stark simple truth is I now dread the dawn.
For dawn is the start of another days care.
It starts with a problem, what shall she wear?
What are our plans for the rest of the day?
Whatever they are will confuse at this stage,
try to get her to focus, one thing at a time.
“Brush your teeth, wash your bits and I’ll go and do mine.”
I’ll compile a list so that your day is clear,
but just take your time, till your brain gets in gear”,
and that sets the tone for the rest of the day.
She’ll need constant attention, won’t hear what I say.
I need to learn patience but the truth is I’m crap,
and sooner or later I’ll inevitably snap.
We’ll have words once again, and she’ll be upset,
because the more I lose patience the harder it gets.
Then the evening arrives, “Find a film please” she asks,
it’s another small duty in my long list of tasks.
Eventually I’ll find one, and she’ll say “yes love put It on”.
I do so, but I know full well, in ten minutes she’ll be gone.
Her eyes will close, I’ll nudge her twice, but I know it’s all in vain,
it’s evening now, she’s fast asleep, I’m on my own again.
The quintessential carer, I must sit here by her side,
but my life’s on hold I’m stuck here, my hands completely tied.
Another lonely night, until it’s time for bed.
Then wake her up, bring her around, organise her meds.
She’ll be semi conscious, what problems will we share?
She won’t know who we are, what we are doing or where.
Another fractious hour will pass till we finally retire.
She’s asleep but I’m awake, my brain is back on fire.
Reflecting on the things I’ve said, how much really mattered?
I cannot sleep, my minds arace, though physically I’m shattered.
[Image description: Dark navy blue text, on a faint light blue watercolour background, reads the same as the text in the caption above]