11/09/2025
Asked this week " why do you still feel you have to everything by yourself?"
This is a side effect of trauma experienced especially from early childhood,
Masked as independence, the belief your on your own, no one wants to support you, you exert all your energy only to burnout and still refuse to ask for help because :
Fear of being seen feels vulnerable
Past traumatic experiences can make individuals feel extremely vulnerable and powerless, leading to a hyper-independent defence mechanism to shield them from future hurt.
Mistrust of Others:
Betrayal, neglect, abuse will l have you mistrusting the world
Need for Control:
Hyper-independence can be a way to regain a sense of control when one felt powerless
Maladaptive Coping:
It serves as an unintentional coping strategy to avoid triggers, protect oneself from emotional threats, and maintain safety from anticipated harm.
Signs of Hyper-Independence
❤️An inability to ask for or accept assistance, even when struggling, and feeling shame or weakness when needing support.
🩵A tendency to keep information about oneself private, fearing it could be used against them, and generally mistrusting others' intentions.
💙Overworking and Burnout:
Taking on too much work and responsibility, leading to chronic stress and exhaustion because delegating tasks feels impossible.
Difficulty with Relationships:
🩷Struggling to form and maintain close, reciprocal relationships due to the inability to be vulnerable or open up.
to shift this takes patience, time and alot of nurturing your inner chid, adult self and knowing you are whole and safe to be.
So start today by giving yourself what you need from a place of love.
if you'd like to go further then join the free 7 day coming home to you series and let yourself for the first time receive
A mini course and work book designed to guide women on a journey of self discovery, healing, and inner peace. Each day a new theme and focus that brings you closer to your authentic selves through ,