Nic Dove Therapy

06/07/2025

It can feel like the hardest thing but talking about your grief means telling those around you how you feel, what you can and cannot do. It’s sharing the times when you are knocked off your feet and can’t move, as well as the moments when you can smile and laugh again, maybe for the first time.

What I do believe more than anything is that it is hard to move forward in our loss if we swallow the pain, the anger, the regrets, the guilt and the sadness, nor can we silence the happy memories and the loving times we shared.

They make up our grief and our love and just like breath they need room to come out, be expressed and shared. They make up what we had, what we lost and the love we can carry forever.

For everyone suffering the pain of loss. And remembering today the 52 people who lost their lives in 7/7 terrorist attacks along with their families and all those affected by events 20 years ago. 💜❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

14/06/2025

As we approach Father’s Day tomorrow I wanted to ask you a question. What is it that takes you right back to being alongside your Dad ? Maybe it’s a song, or a smell, a special place or just any old place where you spent time together. Maybe it’s the memory of the way he hugged you or the pride on his face when you did something big or something little he loved. Or maybe , a way of walking, a funny saying or a smile that lands in a certain way.

There’s so much that links my heart to my Dad . He always taught me to speak up for what I believe in however hard that is. I was often in trouble at my convent school for doing just that. He taught me to stand up against injustice even when I was the underdog and especially for the underdog.
He was strong, slightly rigid some might say but I guess that comes from recovering from a life threatening illness when he had two children under five. For me he personified the word trust. And when I face a difficult personal or professional situation, where morals play a part I shut my eyes and ask myself what would he say and do.

That’s all the big stuff because he took life pretty seriously. As for a song that carries me back to being in a room with him … ours was Danny Boy. He wasn’t the best singer. I used to mark his hymn singing in church which always made him giggle when I held up I or 2 fingers out of ten. Danny Boy was his best song though .. his party piece and the song that we danced to on my wedding day with him singing at the top of his voice . You got 10 /10 that day, Dad

The run up to Father’s Day can feel so hard, stirring up so many emotions for us. Love, yearning, sadness, happiness from memories and perhaps even a little envy that others still have their Dads.

We are all at such different stages of our loss. For some this will be the first Father’s Day without their Dad beside them. For others, the missing returns despite the passing of time.

Wherever you are in your grief, be kind to yourself this Father’s Day by doing what is right for you. Share your feelings with others if you can or find a quiet way to be with them. Light a candle. Tell your Dad how you are doing. Remember him. Remember him and you. If you can, shut your eyes and bathe in your loving memories. May they soothe your sadness and yearning on Father’s Day and all days .

I am sharing these words that I wrote for my Dad. Please use our Four Little Words page to share photos, words and memories of your Dads. It would be wonderful to have them here 💜❤️


*********
Today I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.
I shut my eyes and remember the love we shared.
I shut my eyes and remember you and me.

Your key in the door at lunchtime, in time for Trumpton together. Always. No matter what.
Your lap safe and warm.The best seat in the house.
The trust that kept me afloat in the cold depths of the pool as you taught me to swim.
Your arms as you caught me when I climbed too high to impress you and fell from the tree.
The bike you held up until I could balance alone.
Your big shoes I danced on when I didn’t know how.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

Your singing in church which made me giggle so hard.
The “slimming” machine that wobbled you like jelly as I spied through the door
The pocket money you never gave me without a fight.
The ordinary night you turned magical by surprising the life out of me with a puppy.
The strange broken English you spoke on holidays abroad that made me laugh til I cried.
The chess moves you taught me until I could win by myself.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The late night pick ups. You were always so early.
The questions you asked of the boy I brought home.
The look on your face when you caught us alone.
The times you forgave me when I went a bit wrong.
The steadiness you showed when life tripped me up.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The smile on your lips as you saw me in my dress.
The strong guide of your arm as we walked down the aisle.
The loving tremble of your chin as you gave me away.
The deep pride in your voice as you spoke of our life.
The dance that we danced with you singing at the top of your voice .

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The love in your eyes as you held your grandchildren.
The delight in your voice when you answered their cries.
The pleasure you took in the hours that you shared.
The gift that you gave them just by being theirs.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The look in your eyes when they told you the cancer had spread.
The fight you put up when it battered you without mercy.
The courage you showed each and every day.
The pain you swallowed when the medicine couldn’t help.
The quiet tears you cried when you fell on the floor.
The last smile you gave me when I kissed you goodbye.
The break of my heart when I saw you .....still forever.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The honesty you taught me to place above all else.
The loyalty you valued that kept us so strong.
The principles you honoured every day of our lives.
Your umbrella of care that kept us so safe.
The legacy of love you left in our hearts.

Today I turn away from the cards in the shops.
I look past the presents I could buy.
I step around your empty chair.
It’s Father’s Day and you are gone.

Instead today I shut my eyes and remember you...
My Dad.
My protector.
My teacher.
My defender.
Sometimes my critic.
Always my hero x

💜Sending love and support if you are without your Dad, your father figure or your son. Shut your eyes and remember them.❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

16/05/2025

Yesterday was the anniversary of my mum dying. Tuesday May 15th. 5.15 pm
2012. A stark old room in Charing Cross Hospital with the rush hour traffic racing by while our world stopped dead.

…. 2012. 13 years ago.

Thirteen years is a long time, numbers wise, we can all agree with that. Some days for me, it feels like yesterday. Other times, It feels impossible it was that long ago.

Anniversary….just eleven letters but such a big word that means so very many different things. By definition it’s the annual occurrence of a notable date. Beautiful if it marks something to celebrate. But what if that red letter day looms large for all the wrong reasons….the anniversary of the day our loved one died….the day we got our worst phone calls ever….the day we said goodbye or didn’t get the chance to….the day we shared our last kiss, our last look, our last moment. Sometimes too an anniversary marks an end to our loved ones suffering whilst at the same time marking the start of our own as we grieve.

Often over the years I have found myself weighed down as the day approached before I knew why. In fact I’ve finally learnt that the heaviness in my heart often came before I consciously acknowledged the date I was
nearing.

In the early years I relived every moment of the minutes that led up to my mum’s death. The diagnosis. The operation. The hope that was crushed by the doctor’s words. Other years kindly allowed me some separation from each painful second that broke my heart as we lost her.

And yesterday … 13 years on… I thought I’d be ok. I thought I was used to it. I thought I would think about her but feel fine. And do you know what , for some reason I wasn’t. For some reason I was swept away again. For some reason my heart ached as much as years 3, 5 and 6 and my tears didn’t stop.

But what I know now is that’s ok. 13 years, 5 years, 10 years …however many years we don’t need to question the reason. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s grief.
Grief isn’t linear. It’s messy. And it’s personal, just as our love was.

The way we navigate our grief anniversaries is unique to us all. No rights or wrongs, just the best that we can do for where we are. Some anniversaries are simply about surviving the pain. Other times we can take comfort from sharing memories or placing our loved one at the centre of a ritual. Sometimes we can’t stop the tears whilst other years we can let the laughter ring out too as we remember them.

Wherever you are in your grief, whatever you can or cannot do, we can take comfort from the warmth of our shared understanding…..from the strength of a knowing empathy that can help to carry us as we make our way forward through the pain, lifted when we are ready, by our memories and the love we shared.

nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy
Following

I am a fully qualified accredited counsellor offering support in many areas including grief, anxiety, stress, relationship difficulties and unhelpful behaviours

10/05/2025

If you are struggling with your grief and the emotions that loss can bring, I would love to try and help. Please contact me at nicdovetherapy.co.uk if you would like your talk about working together.

Warm weather brings memories of sunny times. It also brings a wanting for happy adventures in the sun but planning them without our loved ones can feel so impossibly hard.
Do we go back to places where we shared sunny days together or for now does that feel too painful to contemplate.
There is no right or wrong. Grief is our own, so personal that all we can do is find our own way in our own time, knowing that we will one day feel warmed by the everlasting love we shared.
Sending love and support to you all 💜❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy

11/04/2025

Thank you so much to the wonderful Aled Jones for taking time out from his tour to share these lovely words about my grief book, Little Bird and the Sky that got Bigger.

I also heard this week that one little boy at a local school, who has been been bereaved picked Little Bird as his favourite on World Book Day because the story helps him feel better.

It means so much to hear things like this and receive such positive reviews. To know that it has helped even one person is everything I set out to do.

My book is for anyone who has lost someone they love. It tells the story of Little Bird who is grounded by sadness after her beloved mum dies…. Her life loses all meaning as she struggles to get by without her. But slowly she learns to live again as she comes to understand that her mum will be with her always through memories and never ending love. I have weaved recognised grief models into the story to normalise the emotions that come with grief and offer hope to those in pain.

I am donating books to local schools and charities. Selling my book will allow me to get as many copies out there as I can.
Little Bird is available from my website
nicdovetherapy.co.uk if you would like to buy a copy.
Please share this with anyone you think it might help.
❤️❤️❤️

30/03/2025

For those of us whose mums have died, the approach to Mother’s Day can feel especially hard as we are bombarded with reminders that it’s coming. People often tell me that it’s during the build up to big days that they feel the saddest.

The day itself can fill our hearts with an ache for the time when our Mums were by our sides with strong arms and comforting words. We wish they were at the table today thanking us for lunch or flowers. Being our Mums.

For others the pain of Mother’s Day is that they never knew their mums or if they did, their relationship was heartbreakingly difficult or impossible. And then there are those who are facing the living grief of watching their Mum battle the cruelty of dementia…losing them minute by minute.

Today our hearts are also very much with mothers who have lost precious sons and daughters and carry that unbearable life shaping grief with them everyday. For those who suffer the pain of infertility, the day may be a raw and unkind reminder.

I wrote the words below for my mum and for yours but they are also dedicated to aunties and grandmothers or whoever it was that loved you and looked out for you in your first days.

Take good care of yourselves this Mother’s Day wherever your pain comes from. Do whatever feels right for you today. No shoulds or musts. If your mum is still by your side I hope you can cherish every second of her company 💕💕 And if she’s not, I hope you can connect to your loving memories, the big days and the little days you spent together and feel the warmth of the eternal love you share.

This is my mum. Please share your pictures, memories and love here ❤️❤️

The First

The first to know our presence.
The first to feel us there.
The first to hope.
The first to plan.

The first to touch us.
The first to hold us.
The first to look into our eyes.
The first to kiss us.
The first to care.

The first to feed us.
The first to comfort us.
The first to soothe our pain.
The first to give us their time.

The first to wash us.
The first to brush our hair.
The first to dress us.
The first to tuck us in.

The first to show us.
The first to teach us.
The first to read to us.
The first to scold us.
The first to sing to us.

The first to hold our hand.
The first hand we held back.

The first to love us unconditionally.
Our mothers.
Our firsts.
Forever ❤️

nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy

08/03/2025

Remembering all the wonderful women we love and have lost .. our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our grandmothers, our aunts and our friends.

And to all of us women working our way through the pain of grief whilst doing what we do.

I salute you, not just today on International Women’s Day but everyday. Your strength is empowering. We stand together. 💜❤️💜❤️

Please share so we can grow our supportive Four Little Words community.

❤️💜❤️💜

nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy

23/02/2025

So pleased to share this with you all.

I can’t tell how much it means to me to receive these kind words about my grief book Little Bird and the Sky that got Bigger. To know that it has helped even one person is everything I set out to do.
Donations are going well. It is in local schools and charities and I am trying to get as many copies out there as I can.
Little Bird is also available to buy from from my website nicdovetherapy.co.uk
It is a book for anyone who has lost someone they love. I would love to share it with you . There is also a video that explains the whole story from the start of Four Little Words til now. 💜
Here are some of the lovely reviews I am so moved to have received so far.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Thank you so much for Little Bird …The messages contained within are so helpful and yet gentle for anyone coping with loss - at whatever age. “

“It is so gentle, very caring. We can all connect with your story.”

“Such a beautifully told story … I can’t tell you how much it helped . “

“One of the children in my class asked to read Little Bird again this week because she was missing her grandad. She told me she felt better afterwards. Thank you.”

“This is such a clever use of very helpful grief theories. The story is so warm and supportive in its message and offers so much hope. Thank you.”

nicdovetherapy.co.uk

21/02/2025

In a world where people seem to be losing direct connection with each other more and more, this is a beautiful and uplifting example of how important community is.
When we are faced with difficult situations and negative times, it’s so crucial to look around at our support circles… turning to those around us, sharing our burdens can make the world of difference to our days and our lives.
together
The Blacksmiths Daughter
Petersfield's Shine Radio

14/02/2025

For everyone who is missing someone they love this Valentine’s Day.
Hold tight to the love and the days you shared and if you can, let your memories soothe you with their warmth ❤️❤️

nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

09/02/2025

Such a brilliant initiative….getting men together to talk.
Talking with my male clients, this doesn’t always happen easily for everyone but it is so validating when men get the chance to get together and share what is s going on for them
Good luck to this great new community group .
nicdovetherapy.co.uk

06/02/2025

Just leaving this here 💙 Today is Day, take action and share this post to remind others that it's okay to reach out for help 💭