Nic Dove Therapy

30/12/2025

How are you doing as we approach the start of 2026 ?
New Year is a time that can stir up many painful emotions when you are grieving, bringing about feelings of great unease and yearning on top of sadness.

When my parents first died I began to really fear that last day of the year. Our lifelong tradition of ringing each other at midnight no matter where in the world we were, was over.

I feared the absence of that call. The absence of their voices.
But most of all I feared entering a new year without them.
A year we would never share.
A year that death had stopped them inhabiting.
It filled me with panic and yearning.
It filled me with a reluctance to go forward without them.

And then little by little as time passed, I started to hear them again ....wishing me all the love in the world.
And I realised of course they’ll be coming too.
Of course they’ll be coming into the New Year with me.
In my heart.

And your loved ones will be coming with you too.
In your hearts.
Because despite the pain of grief, love transcends time.
Love carries on and on.
Love is an eternal bond.

Thinking of you all this New Year ❤️

Nic Dove Therapy
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

23/12/2025

For every smile not smiled this Christmas…for every kiss ungiven…for every word not spoken…for every empty chair ….let your love and memories soothe your pain as best it can.
And if it’s too soon and your loss is too raw, I hope you can take comfort in knowing your memories will be there waiting for you when you are ready.

Say no when you can’t and yes when you can. Whatever it is you can manage this year is good enough.

I am sorry for your loss this Christmas just as I am every hour of every day that you are without your loved one.

Wishing you peace from your pain, solace and happiness from your memories and comfort from the love you will carry forever in your heart.
❤️❤️

Four Little Words
nicdovetherapy.co.uk

12/12/2025

Christmas…it’s the most wonderful time of the year …or so the song says.

When you have lost someone you love, the Christmas season can feel anything but wonderful …the build up is filled with days when we would have been buying them presents or arranging to meet them. Days when carols are playing all around but all we can hear is the overwhelming nostalgia filling our hearts and heads. Days that remind us of the absence of them. Of them and us. Of what we had.

If you are finding things hard, please know you are not alone. Please reach out to Four Little Words and to those around you for love and support.

Don’t be afraid to speak of your pain or say no to things you find too hard as you take things at the pace that’s right for you and your grief. And most of all try and draw strength from the everlasting presence of the love you shared . Death ends a life but not a relationship ❤️❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy

07/12/2025

Say their name❤️




Four Little Words
nicdovetherapy.co.uk

29/11/2025

As we approach the start of National Grief Awareness Week, I wanted to reshare the post that launched Four Little Words in the hope that you too will share it far and wide with others. There are thousands of us now and together we have the power to make a difference..the power to bridge the jagged hole that death rips in our lives….the power to end the silence that often follows loss.

People often say how the caring community we have created together is a place of comfort for them. Knowing that here we can talk about our grief openly and without judgement is so valuable on days when the pain of our loss leaves us isolated and unsure of the day ahead.

I firmly believe that there is strength in togetherness. This page has proved that beyond doubt. Being part of this community feels empowering and validating so please look out for those around you who are grieving or facing loss and share these words with them so that they can join us. Let them know that here we are all sorry for each other’s loss not just today but every day.

Nic Dove Therapy
nicdovetherapy,co.uk

01/11/2025

Grief runs its own path .. no rights, no wrongs . We work through it in our own way, in our own time.
If you are struggling with the myriad of emotions that losing someone we love can bring and you would like some support please contact me at nicdovetherapy.co.uk to discuss working together.

01/11/2025

11/10/2025

A very proud day six years ago .
The Four Little Words community remains strong and supportive. Some of you have been here from the start while others have joined along the way. Connected by the pain of loss, we are and continue to be stronger together.
Let’s keep talking and sharing and looking out for those around us as we continue to navigate the difficult emotions that sweep us off our feet when we are grieving.
Please share so that together we can support each other.

Nic Dove Therapy
nicdovetherapy.co.uk

So very pleased and proud to tell you that Four Little Words has been invited to Westminster for the parliamentary launch of National Grief Awareness week. A superb initiative launched by the brilliant Good Grief Trust. Blown away that we ve got there together. Thank you all for supporting this page and its message. Keep spreading Four Little Words until everyone can say them xx

04/08/2025

Grief takes the firm ground from under us. It makes us wobble like never before. It makes us question our being and pretty much everything else. We look around not knowing what to do with ourselves. Or what to do with anything.

I believe with all my heart that you don’t have to change a thing until it feels right for you. Until you are ready. Until the ground feels like it’s back again, just a bit. Until you want to move their glasses or their slippers. Until you want to clean out the cupboard and take out the clothes that hang there as a physical reminder of the person you loved and saw get dressed without realising what a wonderful sight it was that you took for granted. How we wish we could tell them again, yes, you look good in that.

Our loved ones things are the physical evidence that they were actually here. Our lasting tactile connection to them. If we can’t stand to move these things or put them away because they’re no longer needed, that’s okay. Because they ARE needed by us as we try and navigate our grief. Shut your ears to Pressure tapping its watch, nagging you to “move on.” Ignore that doubting voice that s telling you its not normal that you want to sleep with a piece of their clothing because it smells of them. You ARE normal. You are grieving as best you can.

I often eat my breakfast with a spoon that I found when I cleaned out my mum and dad s house. It’s just an ordinary old spoon to look at but to me it’s so very much more. As a child my mum gave it to me with the porridge she made me every morning . Now as I hold it once more I can see here in her blue dressing gown, hips swaying rhythmically as she stirred my Ready Brek hard enough to get rid of the lumps I hated. I love that old spoon because it’s my mum and me back in my hand again. A precious connection.

I still have the outfit too that my Mum wore to hospital the day she was diagnosed with that horrible brain tumour that stole her from us in just nine weeks. Not that it’s a day I want to remember but I can see her now sitting there in the consultant’s room. It was the last day she ever picked out clothes to wear with any purpose but as I look at them now it reminds me of how smart and beautiful she looked that morning and how proud I was that she was my Mum.

Memories come in all shapes and sizes. And when the time is right for you, you may like to gather some precious possessions together to place in a box, creating a treasure trove full of them.
You could personalise the box however you like, perhaps with a photo or just leave it plain and simple if you prefer. Tin or wood or anything that feels right ....you’ll know it when you find it.

And once you begin, you’ ll know just what to put in it. Tickets that take you back to somewhere special or to somewhere ordinary where you went together time and time again without even thinking about it. A scribbled note that means so much because it reminds you why they were in a hurry the morning they wrote it. A favourite hat or scarf that you can see them in without even trying. Their watch, their glasses, their anything can all go in with photos, letters and postcards sent that time you were apart and but still had so much to tell each other. Their perfume too, giving you the scent of them once again when you lift the lid. Family members can make their own boxes too safeguarding the personal connections they shared.

Pieces of precious life tucked away. Continuing bonds safe for ever. To be touched and revisited as often as you want. On your own or with others around you. A special trigger to memories that you might like to share with grandchildren one day, on anniversaries, birthdays, at Christmas or just whenever you need to a feel a physical connection to the love you shared. There for you forever.

Grief is good at isolating us, making us feel weird or mad for doing whatever we need to do to get by. Knowing that you are not the only one who kisses their photo or takes their jumper on holiday eases that. We are stronger together. And stronger still for knowing that 💜❤️

nicdovetheraoy.co.uk
Four Little Words

06/07/2025

It can feel like the hardest thing but talking about your grief means telling those around you how you feel, what you can and cannot do. It’s sharing the times when you are knocked off your feet and can’t move, as well as the moments when you can smile and laugh again, maybe for the first time.

What I do believe more than anything is that it is hard to move forward in our loss if we swallow the pain, the anger, the regrets, the guilt and the sadness, nor can we silence the happy memories and the loving times we shared.

They make up our grief and our love and just like breath they need room to come out, be expressed and shared. They make up what we had, what we lost and the love we can carry forever.

For everyone suffering the pain of loss. And remembering today the 52 people who lost their lives in 7/7 terrorist attacks along with their families and all those affected by events 20 years ago. 💜❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

14/06/2025

As we approach Father’s Day tomorrow I wanted to ask you a question. What is it that takes you right back to being alongside your Dad ? Maybe it’s a song, or a smell, a special place or just any old place where you spent time together. Maybe it’s the memory of the way he hugged you or the pride on his face when you did something big or something little he loved. Or maybe , a way of walking, a funny saying or a smile that lands in a certain way.

There’s so much that links my heart to my Dad . He always taught me to speak up for what I believe in however hard that is. I was often in trouble at my convent school for doing just that. He taught me to stand up against injustice even when I was the underdog and especially for the underdog.
He was strong, slightly rigid some might say but I guess that comes from recovering from a life threatening illness when he had two children under five. For me he personified the word trust. And when I face a difficult personal or professional situation, where morals play a part I shut my eyes and ask myself what would he say and do.

That’s all the big stuff because he took life pretty seriously. As for a song that carries me back to being in a room with him … ours was Danny Boy. He wasn’t the best singer. I used to mark his hymn singing in church which always made him giggle when I held up I or 2 fingers out of ten. Danny Boy was his best song though .. his party piece and the song that we danced to on my wedding day with him singing at the top of his voice . You got 10 /10 that day, Dad

The run up to Father’s Day can feel so hard, stirring up so many emotions for us. Love, yearning, sadness, happiness from memories and perhaps even a little envy that others still have their Dads.

We are all at such different stages of our loss. For some this will be the first Father’s Day without their Dad beside them. For others, the missing returns despite the passing of time.

Wherever you are in your grief, be kind to yourself this Father’s Day by doing what is right for you. Share your feelings with others if you can or find a quiet way to be with them. Light a candle. Tell your Dad how you are doing. Remember him. Remember him and you. If you can, shut your eyes and bathe in your loving memories. May they soothe your sadness and yearning on Father’s Day and all days .

I am sharing these words that I wrote for my Dad. Please use our Four Little Words page to share photos, words and memories of your Dads. It would be wonderful to have them here 💜❤️


*********
Today I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.
I shut my eyes and remember the love we shared.
I shut my eyes and remember you and me.

Your key in the door at lunchtime, in time for Trumpton together. Always. No matter what.
Your lap safe and warm.The best seat in the house.
The trust that kept me afloat in the cold depths of the pool as you taught me to swim.
Your arms as you caught me when I climbed too high to impress you and fell from the tree.
The bike you held up until I could balance alone.
Your big shoes I danced on when I didn’t know how.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

Your singing in church which made me giggle so hard.
The “slimming” machine that wobbled you like jelly as I spied through the door
The pocket money you never gave me without a fight.
The ordinary night you turned magical by surprising the life out of me with a puppy.
The strange broken English you spoke on holidays abroad that made me laugh til I cried.
The chess moves you taught me until I could win by myself.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The late night pick ups. You were always so early.
The questions you asked of the boy I brought home.
The look on your face when you caught us alone.
The times you forgave me when I went a bit wrong.
The steadiness you showed when life tripped me up.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The smile on your lips as you saw me in my dress.
The strong guide of your arm as we walked down the aisle.
The loving tremble of your chin as you gave me away.
The deep pride in your voice as you spoke of our life.
The dance that we danced with you singing at the top of your voice .

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The love in your eyes as you held your grandchildren.
The delight in your voice when you answered their cries.
The pleasure you took in the hours that you shared.
The gift that you gave them just by being theirs.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The look in your eyes when they told you the cancer had spread.
The fight you put up when it battered you without mercy.
The courage you showed each and every day.
The pain you swallowed when the medicine couldn’t help.
The quiet tears you cried when you fell on the floor.
The last smile you gave me when I kissed you goodbye.
The break of my heart when I saw you .....still forever.

I shut my eyes and remember you Dad.

The honesty you taught me to place above all else.
The loyalty you valued that kept us so strong.
The principles you honoured every day of our lives.
Your umbrella of care that kept us so safe.
The legacy of love you left in our hearts.

Today I turn away from the cards in the shops.
I look past the presents I could buy.
I step around your empty chair.
It’s Father’s Day and you are gone.

Instead today I shut my eyes and remember you...
My Dad.
My protector.
My teacher.
My defender.
Sometimes my critic.
Always my hero x

💜Sending love and support if you are without your Dad, your father figure or your son. Shut your eyes and remember them.❤️
nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Four Little Words

16/05/2025

Yesterday was the anniversary of my mum dying. Tuesday May 15th. 5.15 pm
2012. A stark old room in Charing Cross Hospital with the rush hour traffic racing by while our world stopped dead.

…. 2012. 13 years ago.

Thirteen years is a long time, numbers wise, we can all agree with that. Some days for me, it feels like yesterday. Other times, It feels impossible it was that long ago.

Anniversary….just eleven letters but such a big word that means so very many different things. By definition it’s the annual occurrence of a notable date. Beautiful if it marks something to celebrate. But what if that red letter day looms large for all the wrong reasons….the anniversary of the day our loved one died….the day we got our worst phone calls ever….the day we said goodbye or didn’t get the chance to….the day we shared our last kiss, our last look, our last moment. Sometimes too an anniversary marks an end to our loved ones suffering whilst at the same time marking the start of our own as we grieve.

Often over the years I have found myself weighed down as the day approached before I knew why. In fact I’ve finally learnt that the heaviness in my heart often came before I consciously acknowledged the date I was
nearing.

In the early years I relived every moment of the minutes that led up to my mum’s death. The diagnosis. The operation. The hope that was crushed by the doctor’s words. Other years kindly allowed me some separation from each painful second that broke my heart as we lost her.

And yesterday … 13 years on… I thought I’d be ok. I thought I was used to it. I thought I would think about her but feel fine. And do you know what , for some reason I wasn’t. For some reason I was swept away again. For some reason my heart ached as much as years 3, 5 and 6 and my tears didn’t stop.

But what I know now is that’s ok. 13 years, 5 years, 10 years …however many years we don’t need to question the reason. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s grief.
Grief isn’t linear. It’s messy. And it’s personal, just as our love was.

The way we navigate our grief anniversaries is unique to us all. No rights or wrongs, just the best that we can do for where we are. Some anniversaries are simply about surviving the pain. Other times we can take comfort from sharing memories or placing our loved one at the centre of a ritual. Sometimes we can’t stop the tears whilst other years we can let the laughter ring out too as we remember them.

Wherever you are in your grief, whatever you can or cannot do, we can take comfort from the warmth of our shared understanding…..from the strength of a knowing empathy that can help to carry us as we make our way forward through the pain, lifted when we are ready, by our memories and the love we shared.

nicdovetherapy.co.uk
Nic Dove Therapy
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I am a fully qualified accredited counsellor offering support in many areas including grief, anxiety, stress, relationship difficulties and unhelpful behaviours