Jill Attree - Grief and Loss Specialist

11/03/2026

Mother’s Day After Pregnancy Loss: Love and Grief

Mother’s Day can feel like a day of celebration for many, but for those who have experienced pregnancy loss, it can be one of the most tender and painful days of the year. 💔
Whether the loss was recent or years ago, the day can bring a flood of emotions: sadness, longing, anger, guilt, or a quiet ache that sits deep in your chest. The child you dreamed of, hoped for, or briefly held in your heart is not here, and that absence can feel heightened around Mother’s Day.

Grief That Is Often Invisible
Pregnancy loss is a grief that is deeply personal and sometimes misunderstood. Unlike other forms of loss, it often leaves no physical presence to mourn, only memories and the hopes and dreams of a life that was lost.
Mother’s Day can act as a mirror, reflecting what you long for, what you’ve lost, and what might have been. You may feel isolated, especially when others around you are celebrating. It’s important to acknowledge that your grief is real, valid, and worthy of space. You are allowed to feel whatever comes up - sadness, guilt, or even resentment, without judgment.

Allowing Yourself to Grieve
Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be about celebration. It can be a day to honour your grief, your love, and the child you lost.

Some ways to navigate the day gently:
Name your emotions: acknowledge your grief and give it space.
Speak to someone who understands: a partner, friend, or counsellor. Step back if needed: avoid gatherings or social media. Practice self-compassion, remind yourself that your grief is a reflection of the love you carry.

Honouring the Child You Lost
Even if your child was never born, the love you held and continue to hold, is real. There are ways to honour that love:
Create a memory box
Share your story with someone you trust
Light a candle and allow yourself space to reflect
Buy some flowers or perhaps plant a small bush
These acts allow you to hold space for both grief and love, giving meaning to your experience without pressure or expectation.

A Gentle Reminder
Grief after pregnancy loss is ongoing, and Mother’s Day can trigger waves of emotion at any time. The day does not define your worth, your love, or your capacity for motherhood.
Honouring your grief doesn’t diminish your strength; it celebrates the depth of your love. 💗
Mother’s Day can be a quiet day of remembrance, reflection, and self-compassion. Let it be exactly what you need it to be.

09/03/2026

Mother’s Day and the Grief of Yearning for Motherhood

Mother’s Day is celebrated with flowers, cards, and family gatherings. But for those who yearn to become a mother, it can be one of the hardest days of the year. 💔
The day may bring a quiet ache, a sharp reminder of what hasn’t yet been, and a profound sense of loss. The love you wish to give, the child you long to hold, or the family you dream of building, all feel painfully absent when the world is celebrating motherhood. It’s a grief that is often invisible, misunderstood, and sometimes dismissed by those who don’t know what it’s like to carry this longing. Yet it is real, and it deserves acknowledgement.

Understanding the Grief of Longing
Grief is not only about what has been lost; it can also be about what has not yet come. You may feel sadness, jealousy, guilt, or frustration and anger. You may experience waves of hope followed by crushing disappointment.
Social media, celebrations, or family gatherings can act as triggers, bringing the yearning into sharp focus. This grief is layered, it combines loss, hope, and desire, it can feel isolating because society often doesn’t recognise it.

Allow Yourself to Feel
It is okay to feel the pain that Mother’s Day brings. You don’t need to hide your tears, mask your emotions, or pretend the day doesn’t affect you.
Give yourself permission to cry. Express your feelings openly.
Step away from celebrations or social media if they feel triggering. I notice that some of the larger companies now offer the option to ‘opt out’ of emails.
Speak to someone who understands, a friend, partner or grief specialist.
Your grief is valid. Your longing is real. You are not broken for feeling this way. 💗

Gentle Ways to Navigate Mother’s Day
Reach Out to Supportive People
Surround yourself with friends or family who understand your feelings. Connection can ease the isolation.
Acknowledge your grief
Name your emotions: sadness, frustration, hope, or longing. Allow them to exist without judgment.
Practice Self-Compassion
Mother’s Day can stir feelings of inadequacy or guilt.

A Final Thought - Yearning for motherhood is a tender grief, one that is often silent, but deeply felt. On Mother’s Day, allow yourself to feel, reflect and connect with those around you.

13/02/2026

Thank you to Grief Specialists for the opportunity to write this article. If you would like to chat further please do contact me. Tel: 07940542660. www.whenlifewobbles.com

Thank you to Jill Attree - Grief and Loss Specialist for today's article, rather timely ahead of Valentine's Day. Moving into a new relationship after loss can feel both hopeful and deeply complicated. For many people who’ve experienced bereavement, opening up to love again isn’t just about dating, it’s about working your way through vulnerability, trust, memories of the person they lost, and the fear of hurting someone new, or being hurt by them.

Jill explores how intimacy after bereavement shows up in real life, how grief influences connection, and practical ways to build closeness with a new partner while remembering your past.

Read more here: https://www.griefspecialists.org/post/finding-intimacy-with-a-new-partner-after-loss

10/02/2026

Facing Valentine’s Day After Loss.

For many people, Valentine’s Day is a day filled with hearts, flowers, and declarations of love. When you’re grieving, it can feel like a day that shines a harsh light on what’s missing.
Whether you’ve lost a partner, a loved one, or even the sense of connection that once made the day meaningful, Valentine’s Day can stir up sadness, longing, and even anger. It can be a painful reminder of love interrupted, and of the space that grief leaves behind. It can feel like those around you may be celebrating love, but your heart is doing something entirely different, it’s learning how to hold love and loss at the same time.

When Love and Loss Collide

Valentine’s Day is designed to celebrate togetherness. But when your person is no longer here, the day can feel isolating. You may notice memories flooding back, the sound of their laugh, the way they made you feel safe, or the small rituals you once shared.
It’s normal to feel pulled between wanting to honour that love and wanting to avoid the pain altogether. Both responses are human. There’s no “right” way to face a day like this when your heart is still healing.

Allow Yourself to Feel What Comes

One of the kindest things you can do for yourself on Valentine’s Day is to allow whatever emotions arise, without judgment. Grief is not linear, and special dates often reopen tender places in the heart. The places we may feel scared to visit.
You might feel waves of sadness, bursts of anger, or moments of unexpected peace. Let them all come. These emotions are both natural and normal. They’re part of your ongoing connection to what you’ve lost. If tears come, let them. If laughter surfaces, welcome it. Both are signs that your heart is still alive, still capable of love.

Redefining What Love Means

After loss, Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity, not to celebrate as before, but to redefine love in a way that honours your present reality. Love doesn’t disappear when someone dies or leaves. It changes form. It becomes memory, legacy, compassion, and gratitude.

Sometimes, it becomes self-love, learning to tend to your own needs with gentleness and care. You might choose to spend the day quietly, journaling, lighting a candle, walking in nature, or writing a letter to your loved one. Or you might connect with friends who understand. There’s power in choosing how you acknowledge the day rather than letting it happen to you.

If You’re Opening to New Love

For some, grief and new love coexist. You may be starting to feel drawn to connection again, and that can bring its own mix of hope and guilt.
Remember: finding love again is not a betrayal of the past. It’s a continuation of your capacity to love. It’s love expanding, not replacing. You’re allowed to carry what was, while opening to what might be.

A Gentle Reminder

Valentine’s Day after loss is not about pretending to be okay. It’s about acknowledging your heart exactly as it is - broken, healing, human, and still capable of love.
You are not alone in this. Many others are walking this same quiet path through February, learning that love doesn’t end; it simply evolves.
Be gentle with yourself.
Your love story didn’t end, it changed shape.
If you are struggle with grief, know that support is available. Do contact me if you would like to chat further. TEL 07940542660

17/12/2025

My dad ❤️. Dad another year goes by. We will be celebrating you and Sharon on Friday when we go out for our Christmas meal. We will raise that glass of Drambuie high. Cheers dad 🥃. I love you xx ❤️❤️

11/12/2025

09/12/2025

9th December. Another year has passed. Another year without my sister, my big sister. The memories, the love, the laughter will always stay with me. I love you Sharon. Thank you for helping me become who I am today. Forever my guiding light xx ❤️

09/12/2025

If you’re grieving this season, please know this: there is no “right” way to get through Christmas. Some days you may feel okay, and other days the weight of missing them feels unbearable. Both are valid.

Grief has a way of showing up louder at this time of year — in the empty chair, the traditions that don’t feel the same, the moments you wish they were still here for you. Some days you may feel okay, and other days you are just about getting through, learning that both can exist at the same time.
Give yourself permission this Christmas — to change traditions, to say no when you need to, to talk about the one you miss, and to feel whatever comes up without judging it. Joy may still find you in small moments, and when it does, allow yourself to feel it without guilt.
If you’re carrying grief this Christmas too, please know you’re not alone. You don’t have to be strong, cheerful, or “over it.” Just showing up — in whatever way you can — is enough.
Holding space for all of us who are missing someone this Christmas 🤍

03/12/2025

This National Grief Awareness Week (2nd–8th December) we would like to highlight the importance of recognising how deeply and differently grief can affect people.

The annual campaign is led by The Good Grief Trust and this year's theme is “Growing with Grief”.

Our latest article encourages open conversations about grief and reminds us that compassionate support can make a meaningful difference.

For anyone feeling the impact of loss, or for anyone supporting someone who is, our article offers reflection, guidance and a reminder that help is available.

https://www.griefspecialists.org/post/standing-with-those-who-grieve-supporting-national-grief-awareness-week-2025

15/10/2025

Wave of Light - tonight 19:00 🕯

🌱 A message of hope
Each loss is a story, a love, a memory that matters. During Baby Loss Awareness Week, we light a candle not just for loss, but for visibility, for healing, and for change.
We hope for:
✨ Better support and understanding for grieving families
✨ Medical research and improved care to prevent loss
✨ A world where grief is held, voices are heard, and no one feels alone
If you’ve felt this kind of grief, your baby mattered — and they’ll always matter. 💗

10/10/2025

Baby loss, regardless of gestational age, is a deeply emotional and often isolating experience. Whether the loss occurs early in pregnancy, during later stages, or even shortly after birth, the grief is profound. Each loss represents the hopes, dreams, and bond that parents begin to form from the moment they learn they are going to become parents.
Society sometimes tends to differentiate grief based on how far along a pregnancy was, but the truth is, no loss is "too early" or "less significant." For the parents, whether it’s six weeks or six months, the attachment to their baby is real. The plans they’ve begun to make, the visions of a future with their child—these are shattered, leaving them to navigate an immense void.
Emotional responses to baby loss are diverse. Some may feel numb, others overwhelmed by sorrow. Guilt, confusion, and anger are also common, as parents question why this happened or what could have been done differently. It’s important to understand that these feelings are valid and natural.
What’s often overlooked is that loss at any gestation can carry a deep sense of loneliness. Parents may feel hesitant to talk about their grief, especially if their loss was early in pregnancy. They may fear their pain won’t be understood or that it will be dismissed. Yet, sharing these experiences can be a vital part of healing.
Support is key—whether it’s through loved ones, counselling, or joining a community of those who have walked a similar path. Every grieving parent deserves space to honour their child, no matter how brief their life may have been.
The message we should send to those experiencing baby loss is clear: Your loss matters. Your grief is valid. Your well-being matters. Together we care.
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09/10/2025

Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2025, a time to come together to remember and honour the precious babies lost too soon and support families who have experienced the heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. A time to reflect, remember and reach out. Grief after baby loss can feel confusing, hopeless and often isolating.

Every baby matters, every story deserves to be heard.

For all those who have suffered baby loss my heart goes out to you. Together we can raise awareness, shares stories and advocate for better support and care for those affected by this profound loss. If you are grieving the loss of a baby you don't have to face it alone. If you would like to share your story please do contact me.

www.whenlifewobbles.com
TEL: 07940542660

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