25/08/2025
Late-diagnosed ADHDers AuDHDers often become masters at masking , not because theyāre trying to deceive anyone, not even because it felt safer to adapt than to explain.ā£.. but because there was no choice, no alternative based on no awarenessā¦ it was just what you did when you ādid lifeā.
And you assumed everyone else was going the same too ā¦ they were just better at it.
Thatās my experience and the experience of many other late diagnosed adhd/audhders Iāve spoken to.
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Thereās so much to undo when you finally have that new awareness and itās not just a case of flipping a switch or going into reverse.
It takes time to fully understand and to introduce new ways of being and responding to the world.
Add a good dose of Alexithymia - that gap in understanding, recognising and processing your emotions and it can feel like a constant game of catch up.
It can be exhausting - it can feel overwhelming- it can feel hopeless.
But then we start again.
For me - itās about really digging into the new awareness when it happens- gifting myself an ever expanding toolbox of rules and connections and signs to look out for.
Itās not instinctive - instinctive is survival and that just doesnāt go deep enough.
My body and my nervous system have become my closest ally, best friend and confident. But like a good friend we donāt always want to hear the truthā¦ I think I do now. I think Iām ready to gift myself the best chance of happiness. And I know we canāt wish that into being.
As ever, itās not that we canāt do the thing - itās just about doing the thing differently.
Letting go of self judgement and frustration as part of the process.
The past is the past and the now is waiting and as always, has hope on its side.
