Holden Therapy

23/03/2026

Why does losing anxiety… sometimes make you feel anxious?

It sounds like a contradiction, but it’s something many people experience in therapy.

Anxiety isn’t only a feeling — over time, it can become familiar. Predictable. Even part of how you understand yourself. So when it starts to fade, your brain doesn’t always read that as “safe”… it can read it as “unknown.”

And the brain is wired to be cautious with the unknown.

From a neuroscience perspective, this links to neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to rewire itself based on repeated patterns. If you’ve lived with anxiety for a long time, those neural pathways become well-used, efficient, and automatic. They feel like home, even when they’re uncomfortable.

When those pathways start to weaken and new, calmer ones begin forming, there can be a temporary sense of unease. Not because something is wrong — but because something is different.

There can also be a subtle shift in identity:
“If I’m not the anxious one… who am I now?”

That question can feel destabilising.

So if you notice anxiety creeping in as you begin to feel better, it doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It often means your brain is adapting, and your sense of self is expanding beyond what it has known.

This is part of the process.

New pathways take repetition.
New identities take time to feel solid.
And unfamiliar peace can feel strange before it feels safe.

You’re not losing yourself.
You’re meeting parts of you that anxiety never let you see.

21/03/2026

21/03/2026

Words are powerful.

Not in a fantasy way… in a real, everyday, lived experience kind of way.

Think about it.

“Spelling” — the words you put together
“Cursive” — energy flowing, thoughts moving
“Spoken word” — sound, tone, intention, context

Everything you say, especially to yourself, carries influence, energy and feeling.

If your inner voice says:

“I’m not good enough”
“I always get it wrong”

Your mind listens. Your body responds. Your confidence shifts.

That’s not weakness — that’s how the brain works.

But here’s where the “magic” is.

You can change the words.

Not by forcing fake positivity, but by gently shifting the narrative:

“I’m learning”
“I handled that better than before”
“I’m allowed to take up space”

Small changes in language create small changes in thought.
Small changes in thought create bigger shifts in how you feel and act.

That’s alchemy.

Turning self-criticism into self-support.
Turning doubt into understanding.
Turning survival into growth.

The voice in your head was shaped by past experiences…
but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

You have more influence over it than you think.

And the way you speak to yourself can slowly change everything.

21/03/2026

Narcissistic abuse is a form of domestic abuse.
It is not always physical, but its impact is deep, real, and often long-lasting.

When someone is repeatedly criticised, controlled, blamed, or made to question their reality, the brain adapts to survive.

You may notice:
• Feeling constantly on edge or anxious
• Over-analysing what you say or do to avoid conflict
• Doubting your own memory or perception (often called gaslighting)
• Feeling emotionally exhausted or “numb”
• Struggling to make decisions without reassurance

This is your nervous system learning to stay in survival mode.

Over time, this can also affect your sense of identity.

You might:
• Feel like you’ve “lost yourself”
• Struggle to know what you think or feel
• Put others’ needs before your own to keep the peace
• Feel guilt or shame for things that aren’t your responsibility
• No longer recognise the confident or secure person you once were

This is not a weakness.
It is the impact of prolonged emotional harm.

These responses are understandable adaptations to an unsafe dynamic.

The effects can feel overwhelming, but they are not permanent.

Therapy can support you to

• Understand the patterns of abuse and how they affected you
• Gently come out of survival mode at your own pace
• Rebuild trust in your own thoughts, feelings, and instincts
• Process the confusion, grief, and impact of what you’ve been through
• Reconnect with your identity, values, and sense of self

Domestic abuse can take away your voice and your sense of who you are.
Therapy is a space where both can begin to return.

You are not “too sensitive” or “too much”.
You have been coping in a situation that asked you to survive.

And with the right support, it is possible to feel like yourself again.

20/03/2026

In therapy, change can often feel like loss.

Letting go of old patterns, coping strategies, or identities can bring up grief, even when those parts are no longer serving you.

They existed for a reason. They helped you survive.

Therapy creates space to gently understand those parts, honour them, and begin to release them at your own pace.

What you’re moving towards isn’t a loss of self,
it’s a deeper connection to who you truly are.

18/03/2026

📢 Price Update – Starting April

From 1st April, there will be a small increase in session fees:

• Individual Therapy: £50 → £60
• Couples Therapy: £60 → £70

✨ Good news for existing clients: your current rate will remain the same.

If you’d like to secure sessions at the current prices, please book in before 1st April.

Thank you for your continued trust and support 💛

18/03/2026

If overthinking burned calories, your neocortex would be an elite athlete.

Instead, it’s out here doing things like:
• Rewriting past conversations with “better lines” you’ll never use
• Predicting 47 different futures (42 of them catastrophic)

Your brain says “Let’s keep you safe.”
While at the same time saying "Let’s assume the worst and panic early.”

This is where therapy comes in…
Not to switch your thoughts off (because… good luck with that),
but to help you notice them without automatically believing every single one.

To gently question:
“Is this helpful?”
“Is this true?”
“Or is my neocortex freelancing again?”

Over time, it becomes less of a courtroom in your head…
and more of a place where thoughts can come and go without running the whole show.

Same brain.
Different relationship with it.

15/03/2026

So often we tighten our grip when life feels uncertain.

But control doesn’t bring peace - it just gets exhausting..

Letting go isn’t giving up.

It’s remembering who you are beneath the tension.

It’s honoring your needs and choosing presence over pressure.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do

is soften your hold and let yourself come home to yourself again.

Drop some 🪽🪽🪽if you’re ready to feel lighter.

15/03/2026

Mother’s Day can hold many different feelings.

For some, it’s a day filled with love, laughter, and appreciation for the deep bond between a mother and her child. For others, it can bring exhaustion, guilt, pressure, or the quiet weight of trying to be everything for everyone. And for many, it can carry grief — for the mum who is no longer here, for a relationship that feels complicated, or for the longing of what might have been.

Motherhood is often spoken about through its joys, yet the harder parts rarely receive the same space. The sleepless nights, the emotional load, the constant giving of yourself. Being a mother asks so much of a person, and caring for yourself often ends up at the bottom of the list.

Today can also be a gentle reminder that your wellbeing matters too.

Self-care is not selfish. It is part of sustaining the care you offer others. Whether that looks like asking for support, taking a quiet moment for yourself, speaking honestly about how you feel, or reaching out for help through therapy — tending to your own needs matters.

And for those missing their mum today, or holding complicated feelings about that relationship, there is space for that too. Grief, love, anger, gratitude, and longing can all exist together.

However you experience this day, be gentle with yourself.

Care for yourself in the same way you so often care for others.