easibirthing Fertility to Parenthood

25/01/2026

What Sabotages Motivation? Understanding the Hidden Barriers to Change
Motivation is often misunderstood as a simple matter of willpower. Many people believe that if they truly wanted to change—whether that means improving mental health, building healthier habits, or pursuing meaningful goals—they would simply “try harder.” In reality, motivation is complex, fragile, and easily undermined by factors that are often invisible or misunderstood.
Understanding what sabotages motivation is an important first step toward reclaiming it.
1. Emotional Overwhelm and Burnout
Chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion significantly impair motivation. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, the brain shifts into survival mode. In this state, tasks that require planning, persistence, or creativity can feel insurmountable.
This is not laziness—it is a physiological response. Burnout drains the mental and emotional resources required to initiate and sustain effort. Without addressing the underlying stressors, motivation rarely returns on its own.
2. Perfectionism and Fear of Failure
Perfectionism often masquerades as high motivation, but it frequently has the opposite effect. When success feels conditional on flawless performance, starting becomes risky. The fear of making mistakes, disappointing others, or confirming self-doubt can lead to procrastination or avoidance.
In these cases, motivation is sabotaged not by lack of desire, but by excessive pressure and fear.
3. Unrealistic or Vague Goals
Motivation struggles when goals are either too large or poorly defined. “I need to fix my life” or “I should be more productive” are overwhelming and ambiguous directives. The brain responds more effectively to goals that are specific, realistic, and broken into manageable steps.
Without clarity and attainability, motivation quickly erodes into frustration.
4. Internalized Shame and Self-Criticism
Harsh self-talk is one of the most powerful motivation killers. When effort is consistently met with internal criticism—“I should be further along,” “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I always fail”—the brain learns to associate action with emotional pain.
Over time, avoidance becomes a form of self-protection. Compassion, not criticism, is far more effective in restoring motivation.
5. Misalignment With Values
Motivation weakens when goals are driven by external expectations rather than personal values. Pursuing what one “should” want—approval, status, or comparison-based success—often leads to chronic disengagement.
Sustainable motivation is closely tied to meaning. When actions align with deeply held values, effort feels purposeful rather than forced.
6. Depression and Neurobiological Factors
Depression directly affects motivation by altering brain chemistry related to reward, energy, and concentration. In these cases, waiting to “feel motivated” before acting is unrealistic. Therapeutic support, and sometimes medication, are often necessary to address these biological barriers.
This is why motivation cannot be treated as a purely psychological or moral issue.
7. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Many people abandon goals after small setbacks because they interpret them as total failure. Missing one workout, having one unproductive day, or experiencing a temporary relapse can trigger discouragement and withdrawal.
Motivation is sustained through flexibility, not rigidity. Progress is rarely linear.

Rebuilding Motivation With Support
Motivation is not something people either have or lack. It is a dynamic process influenced by emotional health, nervous system regulation, self-perception, and life context. When motivation repeatedly collapses, it is often a signal—not a personal flaw.
Therapy can help identify the specific factors undermining motivation, address underlying emotional or cognitive barriers, and develop strategies that are realistic and compassionate. With the right support, motivation can be rebuilt in a way that is sustainable rather than exhausting.
If you find yourself stuck, overwhelmed, or discouraged, you are not alone—and you do not have to navigate it on your own.

21/01/2026

It is new year and our next fundraising campaign is in full swing! Whilst Chinese New Year doesn't start until 17th Feb, our Fortune Cookie Raffle has already raised over £150!!! The fabulous prizes that may be lurching inside one of the cookies have all been donated by local businesses. A huge thanks to our first 6 businesses to donate prizes;
Cholderton Rare Breeds Farm
Leah@breatheyoga
Tinga restaurant
Paultons Park theme park
Emma Blackwell of Equilibria Massage

Look out for more prizes to be added soon!

BTW.....any of you current lucky winners, just email me at sharon@mustardtherapy.co.uk to claim your prize (or to order more cookies!).
Cookies covered in Cadburys Dairy Milk chocolate and sprinkles, everyone's a winner anyway!!!

14/01/2026

HOW TO NAVIGATE JANUARY CHANGE WITHOUT BURNING OUT

Why Making Change in January Can Feel So Hard

Every January, it seems like the world is buzzing with “New Year, New Me” energy. Maybe you’ve set goals to exercise more, eat healthier, or finally tackle old habits. And yet, for many of us, the excitement fades quickly, leaving us frustrated or feeling like we’ve failed. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or unmotivated.

High Expectations Can Be Overwhelming

It’s natural to want big change at the start of the year. But expecting to completely overhaul your life overnight can create pressure and stress instead of motivation. Trying to change too many things at once often leads to burnout—and that’s why so many resolutions fizzle out by February.

Motivation That Comes From Within Makes a Difference

A lot of New Year’s goals are driven by outside forces: social media, family, or cultural pressure. While it’s okay to get inspiration from these sources, real, lasting change comes from understanding why it matters to you personally. When your goals align with your values, you’re much more likely to follow through.

Habits Take Time to Build

It’s easy to think change should happen quickly—but the truth is, habits take time to form. Willpower alone can’t carry us through long-term change. Small, consistent steps, repeated over time, are what create lasting shifts in behavior.

Life Gets in the Way

Short winter days, busy schedules, and familiar routines can all make change harder. Even well-intentioned plans can be challenged by real-life stress, social obligations, or old habits that are hard to break. Planning ahead and being realistic about obstacles can help you stay on track without feeling discouraged.

Celebrate Small Wins

Change doesn’t need to be dramatic to be meaningful. Notice and celebrate small steps forward. Each step—no matter how small—is progress, and recognizing it helps build momentum and confidence.

Gentle Tips for January Change

Start small: Focus on one or two goals instead of a long to-do list.
Connect to your “why”: Ask yourself what truly matters to you about this change.
Plan for challenges: Think ahead about situations that might trigger old habits.
Acknowledge progress: Celebrate each step forward, even if it feels minor.
Ask for support: Share your goals with someone you trust—or talk with a therapist—to stay accountable and get encouragement.
Remember: meaningful change is a journey, not a sprint. January can feel like a fresh start, but it’s normal for it to be challenging. By approaching change with patience, self-compassion, and small, steady steps, you give yourself the best chance to build habits that truly last.

17/12/2025

Psychotherapy for IVF: Emotional Support Through Fertility Treatment

Being told that in vitro fertilization (IVF) is the only option for achieving pregnancy can be emotionally overwhelming. While IVF offers medical possibility, it often brings anxiety, grief, uncertainty, and a sense of lost control. Psychotherapy for IVF, alongside hypnotherapy, provides dedicated emotional support to help individuals and couples navigate the psychological demands of fertility treatment with greater resilience and calm.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of IVF
IVF can challenge expectations about fertility, identity, and family building. Many people experience complex emotions, including grief over the loss of natural conception, fear of treatment outcomes, frustration with their body, and feelings of isolation.
Psychotherapy for IVF offers a confidential, supportive space to process these emotions without judgment. Working with a therapist trained in fertility-related issues can help clients:
*Process grief, loss, and disappointment
*Reduce self-blame and feelings of inadequacy
*Develop emotional resilience during treatment
*Foster self-compassion and body acceptance

Reducing Stress and Anxiety During IVF With Hypnotherapy
The IVF process can place prolonged stress on the nervous system. Repeated appointments, hormonal fluctuations, and waiting periods often heighten anxiety and emotional fatigue. Hypnotherapy can be a powerful complement to psychotherapy for IVF, helping to calm the mind and body during treatment.
Hypnotherapy may support clients by:
*Reducing stress and anxiety related to IVF procedures
*Promoting relaxation and emotional regulation
*Improving sleep and overall wellbeing
*Supporting a greater sense of internal control

Psychotherapy for IVF and Emotional Decision-Making
IVF involves a series of emotionally charged decisions, including treatment timing, financial considerations, and genetic testing. These choices are often made under pressure and uncertainty.
Psychotherapy for IVF supports emotional clarity by helping clients:
*Navigate uncertainty and fear of outcomes
*Manage decision fatigue and overwhelm
*Explore differing perspectives within a partnership
*Make decisions aligned with personal values rather than anxiety

Relationship Support During IVF Treatment
IVF can place strain on relationships, as partners may cope differently or struggle to communicate under stress. Psychotherapy for IVF provides a structured, supportive environment to strengthen connection and understanding.
Therapy can help couples:
*Improve communication and emotional attunement
*Normalize different coping styles
*Address intimacy challenges related to IVF
*Maintain a sense of connection throughout treatment
*For individuals pursuing IVF independently, therapy also offers support around identity, boundaries, and emotional resilience.

Coping With Waiting Periods and IVF Outcomes
Waiting for test results, embryo transfers, and pregnancy confirmation is often one of the most emotionally difficult aspects of IVF. Hypnotherapy can help reduce anticipatory anxiety during these periods, while psychotherapy for IVF provides consistent emotional support regardless of outcome.
Therapy can assist clients in:
*Processing unsuccessful IVF cycles or pregnancy loss
*Managing fear during early pregnancy after infertility
*Exploring next steps with emotional care
*Rebuilding hope and self-trust

Reframing IVF With Compassion Through Psychotherapy
A core goal of psychotherapy for IVF is helping clients separate self-worth from fertility outcomes. IVF is a medical intervention, not a reflection of personal failure or inadequacy.
Through psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, clients can:
*Release shame and unrealistic self-expectations
*Reframe IVF as an act of strength and self-advocacy
*Build emotional resilience regardless of outcome
*Feel more empowered throughout fertility treatment

Final Thoughts on Psychotherapy for IVF
When IVF is the only option, emotional support is essential. Psychotherapy for IVF, supported by hypnotherapy, offers a compassionate, evidence-informed approach to managing stress, processing grief, strengthening relationships, and navigating fertility treatment with greater calm and clarity.
IVF may shape the path to parenthood, but with the right therapeutic support, it does not have to define your emotional experience.

https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

05/12/2025

Looking after your mental health in the lead-up to Christmas

As Christmas approaches, many of us feel the pressure to be endlessly cheerful, endlessly social, and endlessly organised. But the reality is that this time of year can be emotionally complex. Stress, exhaustion, financial pressures, family dynamics, and loneliness can all have a real impact on our mental health.
If you’re finding the festive season difficult, please know you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, and taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of everyone else around you.
In the lead-up to Christmas, try to create small moments of calm for yourself—whether that’s a quiet cup of tea, a walk in fresh air, time away from social media, or simply a slow breath before moving on to the next task. Set boundaries where you need to, even if that means saying no, leaving early, or simplifying your plans. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
Remember that Christmas doesn’t have to look a certain way. You’re allowed to create a version of the season that feels good for you—big, small, quiet, joyful, or anything in between.
Be gentle with yourself. Rest when you can. And remind yourself that caring for your mental health is one of the kindest gifts you can give yourself this season.

Read our full blog at

Discover practical, compassionate tips from a psychotherapist on supporting your mental health in the lead-up to Christmas.

03/12/2025

Katie Hinde: Unlocking the Secret Language of Primate Breast Milk

In 2008, postdoctoral researcher Katie Hinde stood in a California primate lab, staring at hundreds of milk samples—and discovered something extraordinary. Male rhesus macaque infants received richer, higher-fat and protein milk, while females received larger volumes with more calcium. Primate breast milk wasn’t just fuel—it was a finely tuned biological message.
Hinde’s research revealed that mothers unconsciously adjust milk composition based on a baby’s s*x, age, health, and temperament. First-time mothers produced milk with higher stress hormones that influenced infants’ growth and behavior. When babies got sick, their saliva communicated immune signals to the mother, prompting her milk to respond with specific antibodies. Milk was a dialogue, a dynamic system shaping both body and behaviour.
She documented these findings across hundreds of mothers and thousands of samples, mapping a language invisible to science until then. When Hinde turned her attention to human milk, she found it similarly complex, containing bacteria, hormones, and over 200 oligosaccharides that feed beneficial gut microbes. No two mothers produce identical milk—each infant receives a unique, responsive nutritional and biochemical profile.
Beyond the lab, Hinde became a public advocate for the science of lactation. She started the blog Mammals Suck…Milk!, co-authored Building Babies, created the annual March Mammal Madness outreach event, and has appeared in TED Talks and Netflix’s Babies. Today, at Arizona State University, she directs the Comparative Lactation Lab, exploring how milk can improve infant outcomes, inform public health, and guide formula development.
Katie Hinde’s work reframes milk as more than food—it is medicine, signal, and conversation, shaping development and behaviour in ways science is only beginning to understand.

Read about our post natal mental health service https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

28/11/2025

Online Therapy: Why It Can Be Just as Effective as Face-to-Face

Online therapy has grown rapidly in recent years, and many people now wonder: Can online therapy truly be as effective as meeting with a therapist in person?
As a psychotherapist, I’ve witnessed firsthand how powerful and transformative online sessions can be. Research supports this as well—showing that online therapy is often just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and in some cases even more accessible and supportive.
Below, I explain why.

What Makes Online Therapy Effective?
1. The Therapeutic Relationship Thrives Online
The foundation of therapy—trust, empathy, attunement, and emotional safety—does not depend on sharing the same physical room.
During online therapy, we still connect through facial expressions, tone of voice, and meaningful conversation. Clients consistently report that they feel just as deeply understood and supported online as they do in person.

2. Online Therapy Increases Comfort and Emotional Safety
Many clients feel more relaxed when attending online therapy sessions from their own home. A familiar environment can reduce anxiety, encourage openness, and make deep emotional work more accessible.
Online therapy is particularly beneficial for individuals dealing with:
social anxiety
mobility challenges
chronic pain or illness
trauma triggers
overwhelm in unfamiliar places
When the nervous system is calmer, therapy can go deeper.

3. Better Accessibility Means Better Consistency
Consistency is one of the strongest predictors of therapeutic progress. Online therapy removes logistic barriers such as commuting, traffic, childcare, or health-related challenges.
Because sessions are easier to attend, clients often stay more committed—and consistent therapy leads to stronger outcomes.

4. Evidence-Based Treatments Work Seamlessly Online
Most major therapeutic approaches, including CBT, ACT, DBT, psychodynamic therapy, and mindfulness-based methods, adapt extremely well to online therapy. In clinical studies, these modalities are found to be just as effective online as in person.
Digital tools can even enhance the experience, using screen sharing, written exercises, or guided practices to support learning and reflection.

5. Online Therapy Expands Access to Quality Care
For many people, online therapy provides access they would not otherwise have—especially in rural areas, underserved communities, or locations with limited mental-health resources.
Clients can choose a therapist based on true fit rather than geography, allowing for better alignment with their needs and preferences.

6. Online Therapy Supports Privacy and Boundaries
Some clients find that online therapy actually increases their sense of privacy. There’s no chance of running into someone in a waiting room, and clients can create a private therapeutic space that feels safe and comfortable.
This sense of control often enhances the therapeutic process.

7. Human Connection Happens Across Screens
Psychological and neurological research shows that emotional attunement, empathy, and co-regulation happen easily through video.
In online therapy, the screen quickly becomes secondary—the connection remains very real.

Is Online Therapy Right for You?
Online therapy isn’t about replacing in-person therapy—it’s about expanding what’s possible. Some people will always prefer face-to-face conversations, while others thrive in online sessions.
The most important thing is finding a therapeutic environment where you feel:
safe
supported
understood
encouraged to grow
If online therapy provides that space for you, it can absolutely be just as effective—and sometimes even more accessible—than traditional therapy.

21/11/2025

How to Cope with IVF Anxiety: Therapist Tips for Your Fertility Journey

IVF anxiety is real—and far more common than most people talk about. Whether you’re preparing for your first cycle or you’ve been on the fertility journey for a long time, the emotional weight can feel overwhelming. As a therapist supporting individuals and couples through fertility treatment, I see every day how powerful the mix of hope, fear, pressure, and uncertainty can be.

In this guide, you’ll find evidence-based coping tools, mindset strategies, and therapist-approved techniques to help you manage IVF anxiety with more clarity, calm, and compassion.

Why IVF Can Trigger So Much Anxiety
IVF can trigger anxiety for many reasons, including:

• Unpredictable outcomes
• A lack of control over the process
• High emotional investment
• Financial and time pressures
• Past fertility losses or difficult experiences

Understanding that these responses are normal can reduce shame and self-judgment.

1. Create an Emotional Safety Plan
Stress often peaks during monitoring appointments, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, and the two-week wait. Planning support ahead of time helps you feel more grounded.

You might include:
• Someone you can talk to
• Calming tools (music, grounding objects, apps)
• Coping strategies for tough days
• Boundaries you need (e.g., limiting Google searches)

Think of this as your emotional first-aid kit.

2. Use Grounding Techniques for High-Anxiety Moments
Grounding helps calm your nervous system during overwhelming moments.

Try:
• The 5-4-3-2-1 technique (using your senses)
• Box breathing
• Cooling techniques such as splashing cold water on your face

These are especially helpful before appointments or while waiting for results.

3. Set Boundaries With Information
Too much information can spike anxiety.

Consider:
• Limiting symptom Googling
• Choosing 1–2 reliable medical sources
• Planning who you’ll share updates with
• Muting triggering social media content

Boundaries protect your emotional wellbeing.

4. Reframe the What-If Thoughts
IVF often brings spirals like:
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“What if something goes wrong?”

Try this therapeutic approach:
• Acknowledge the fear: “This worry makes sense.”
• Ground yourself: “Right now, I don’t know the outcome.”
• Reassure yourself: “I can handle whatever comes next.”

This helps break the cycle of anxious thinking.

5. Choose Mindfulness That Matches Your Energy Levels
Mindfulness should feel supportive, not like another task.

Gentle options include:
• Short guided meditations
• Body scans
• Light stretching or yoga
• A mindful walk
• Five-minute journaling

Even a few moments can make a difference.

6. Strengthen Your Support System
IVF can feel isolating, so having support is vital.

This may include:
• A trusted friend or partner
• A fertility-informed therapist
• Support groups
• Couples counselling
• Someone who can handle sharing updates for you

You don’t have to go through this alone.

7. Prepare Emotionally for the Two-Week Wait
This stage is often the most challenging emotionally.

Set yourself up with:
• A list of comforting distractions
• Flexible, low-pressure activities
• Mood-lifting shows, books, or podcasts
• Gentle movement
• Soothing mantras like “My feelings are valid”

A little structure can make this period feel more manageable.

When to Consider Therapeutic Support
Therapy may help if you:
• Feel anxious most of the time
• Struggle to function due to worry
• Feel hopeless or emotionally numb
• Experience relationship strain
• Carry unresolved grief
• Want a safe space to process everything

Therapy provides not only coping tools but also compassionate support.

Final Thoughts
IVF anxiety is not a sign of weakness—it’s a very human response to a deeply meaningful and uncertain journey. With the right tools, support, and self-compassion, you can move through this process with greater emotional strength and steadiness.

If you’d like further support or resources tailored to your situation, I’m here to help.

If you would like to read more about our IVF support service https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

13/11/2025

How Giving to Charity Can Help Boost Your Mental Health

As a therapist, I often encourage people to explore simple, meaningful practices that improve emotional well-being. One surprisingly powerful way to boost your mental health is by giving to charity — whether that means donating money, volunteering, or sharing your time and energy to support a cause you care about.

Giving isn’t just about helping others. It’s also a proven way to nurture your own sense of happiness, balance, and purpose. Below, we’ll explore seven therapeutic ways charitable giving can boost your mental health and overall emotional wellness.

1. Giving Activates Natural Mood-Boosting Chemicals

Acts of generosity trigger the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and endorphins — the same chemicals that make us feel joy and connection. This natural response, sometimes called the “helper’s high,” explains why even small donations or kind gestures can immediately boost your mental health.

2. Giving Strengthens Purpose and Meaning

Having a clear sense of purpose is one of the strongest predictors of good mental health. Supporting a cause you believe in can:

Give your life direction
Strengthen emotional resilience
Reduce feelings of emptiness or disconnection
Aligning your giving with your values helps boost your mental health by reinforcing what truly matters to you.

3. Generosity Helps Reduce Stress

When you’re focused on your own challenges, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Giving redirects your attention outward, which research suggests can lower cortisol levels — the body’s primary stress hormone.

This calming effect can restore balance and help boost your mental health by reducing emotional tension and promoting relaxation.

4. Giving Builds Connection and Reduces Loneliness

Humans are wired for connection. Participating in charitable activities — whether through donations or volunteering — strengthens your sense of belonging. Knowing you’re contributing to a greater good can ease feelings of isolation and provide a sense of community.

Social connection is one of the most powerful ways to boost your mental health long term.

5. Generosity Encourages Gratitude and Perspective

When you give, you naturally become more aware of your own strengths and resources. This mindset shift toward gratitude can:

Improve mood
Enhance sleep quality
Reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety
Increase resilience
A regular gratitude practice, often sparked through giving, is a reliable way to boost your mental health and overall satisfaction with life.

6. Giving Reinforces a Positive and Compassionate Self-Image

When you give, you send yourself an internal message: “I am capable. I am kind. I can make a difference.” This strengthens self-esteem and self-compassion — two essential ingredients for long-term emotional well-being.

In this way, giving doesn’t just help others; it helps you build a kinder, more confident relationship with yourself, further boosting your mental health.

7. Small Acts of Giving Make the Biggest Difference Over Time

You don’t have to make large donations to experience the benefits. Simple, consistent acts of generosity — like contributing a small monthly amount or volunteering an hour each week — can have a cumulative, lasting impact on your well-being.

Consistency, not magnitude, is what truly helps boost your mental health through giving.

Final Reflection

Giving to charity isn’t a replacement for therapy or professional mental health care, but it can be a deeply nourishing complement. It strengthens purpose, connection, gratitude, and compassion — all key factors in building emotional resilience and boosting your mental health.

Even one small act of generosity today can start a ripple effect that benefits both you and the world around you.

07/11/2025

Our 35 questions 'Christmas Cryptic quiz' is now available as part of our Fundraising Campaign for Salisbury Hospice Charity.
It is one that you and family members can do gradually up to and including the Festive period.
There will be the following prizes donated by generous local businesses for 4 lucky winners of the most correct answers sent to me by 31st December.
Astrid Davies Consulting 90 minute Strategy Session (Executive Performance Coaching)
Alison Alexander A pass for 6 Pilates Reformer classes worth £101.43
ArtDeco ‘Regal Cinema’ in Fordingbridge Silver annual Regal cinema membership starting 14/1/25
Prue Ockenden of Ockenden Financial Planning £50 John Lewis voucher

Please do let me know if any of you lovely people would like me to email you one? Either send me a message on here, or email me at sharon@mustardtherapy.co.uk.
Suggested donation is £5 (cash, cheque or via our JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/page/sharon-mustard-for-salisbury-hospice).

31/10/2025

MAKING TIME FOR SELF REFLECTION IS SELF CARE
With living in a world that offers us stimulation at every turn, we are becoming less able to simply be with ourselves. With multiple devices available to us at any one time, we are often here but not present.
Part of self care is being able to sit with your thoughts, your questions, emotions-being curious and compassionate about your internal world.
Getting to know our inner world is essential for self care
Being engaged with everything from our value system, our sense of deservability and just being with the sensations in our body strengthens our self of autonomy, helps regulate emotions when the inevitable ups and downs of life happen.
Default mode processing when your mind is free to simply have the freedom of wandering. A series of studies from 2015 discovered just how challenging people found it to sit with our own mind and body. Adult men and women were asked to sit in a room in silence with nothing but their own thoughts. However there was also a button in the room that they were told they could press if they wanted to leave before the 15 minutes were up, but that pressing it would give them a painful electric shock.
Would you press the button?
You would be forgiven by guessing that none of them would and instead sit out just 15 minutes…..but 25% of women actually pressed the button and 67% of men pressed it too!
Practice regular self care of sitting with yourself
So whether you immerse yourself in a book, just sit in silence or meditate, talk a walk in nature…..take time out to be with yourself in a way that helps you value and get to know the most important person in your life-YOU!
https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/what-we-can-help-with/