easibirthing Fertility to Parenthood

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easibirthing Fertility to Parenthood

Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy 4 fertility, pregnancy, hypnobirthing, post natal support & parenting Finally…we are pregnant! But what if it is not plain sailing?

Sharon is a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in Salisbury, Wiltshire where she runs a practice with her husband Stewart. Whilst the practice deals with all aspects of psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and counselling for emotional and mental health, Sharon also specialises in support for fertility, childbirth and the post natal period. The service provides nhs-funded pregnancy workshops, hypnobirthing courses and one-to-one support. Sharon also trains other hypo-psychotherapists throughout the UK to work in these areas.

“Being a parent isn’t about what you give up when you have a child, but what you gain from having one.” Baby bump

As a parent of 3, I am all too aware that the journey to becoming a parent can sometimes feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with the highest highs and the lowest lows. When we embark on this phase in our lives, the only one thing that is absolutely certain is that having a baby changes everything, and life will never be the same again. Issues around fertility
The conception part for you might be straightforward. But for some couples, the first steps on that road to becoming a parent can be arduous. Once a couple/woman decides to try for a baby, all too soon as the months pass it can become all encompassing, all consuming, often obsessive. You can find it difficult to focus on other aspects of your life. The mind has enormous power over the body, which is constantly influenced by our emotions, thoughts and beliefs. There are many factors responsible for infertility, and our emotions can affect the delicately balanced hormonal system, which in turn controls ovulation, s***m production and pregnancy. To aid natural conception or assisted options such as IVF, hypnotherapy is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress and increase feelings of calmness and relaxation. Hypnosis can also help to restore confidence in yourself and your body. Being in a state of hypnosis can be useful as a means to resolve any issues around managing stress or unconscious blocks that may be affecting your ability to conceive and become a parent. And then one way or another, it happens! During the transition period of pregnancy, there is much to celebrate. Feeling anxious or low during pregnancy can be confusing and debilitating. Therapy can help you explore your thoughts and feelings and help you to enjoy the adjustment period towards becoming a parent. And then all too soon, you are preparing to meet your baby for the first time. This can be exciting but also overwhelming for some men and women. Hypnobirthing for the main event
Birth has the potential to be one of the most wonderful experiences of your life. Childbirth is a natural physiological process that a woman’s body is fully equipped for. Each birth is unique, and easibirthing® is about empowering you to manage your individual experience, not fear it. We train you to use self-hypnosis, relaxation, visualisation and breathing methods to prepare mind and body for birth. The easibirthing® method teaches you how to use hypnosis for pain management and aims to boost your trust in your body so you enter labour feeling calm, confident and in control. This is about reaching a state of deep relaxation, maintaining perception of control over the process and developing a positive attitude. It is about changing your expectation of birth so that you help rather than hinder the natural process, and develop valuable life skills for parenthood. Positive Mental Health in the Post Natal period
Parenthood is surrounded by myths. There are myths about what it takes to be a good mother or father, about how to ensure your child thrives, about what material things you need, and about how a good mother should think, feel and act so that her child is successful and happy. So in the vulnerable period of the weeks and months after your baby is born into the world, it can feel like whatever you do is wrong or ‘not good enough’. The ‘I should be’ or ‘I shouldn’t be’ tendency can feel overpowering at times. We talk about the birth of a mother, and the birth of a father. Whilst being a parent is the real you, it is a part of you that never existed before. It is a new role requiring new skills and a completely new set of rules. It is important that you have the right support available to enable a smooth transition to parenting so that you can enjoy the experience with your partner, any older children and your new baby. If you would prefer to bring your baby along to the appointment, then you are welcome to do so. Becoming a parent can be fulfilling and enjoyable. However for some women and men it can continue to feel very daunting and overwhelming after the initial few days/weeks. We empower our clients to recognise and overcome unhelpful thoughts, and to regain a sense of control in their lives. Visit us on www.easibirthing.co.uk for more information, birth stories, clinical evidence for the use of hypnosis in fertility and childbirth.

19/09/2025

Find the right psychotherapist for you in Salisbury Wiltshire

Your therapy journey toward change requires you feeling safe and listened to…
If you’re searching for a psychotherapist in Salisbury, you’re already taking the first courageous step towards positive change. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, or simply want a safe space to understand yourself better, the right therapist can make all the difference. There are many therapists in Salisbury, Wiltshire who see clients in-person and online — but how do you choose the one that’s right for you?

1. Clarify What You Need
Start by considering what you want from therapy. Do you need help with anxiety and stress, depression or low mood, confidence building, self esteem boosting, healing from a past trauma, or relationship difficulties? It can be confusing to know what you need but your psychotherapist should be experienced in helping you explore this fully.

Are you looking for psychotherapy for adults, teenagers, or children? Deciding what you’d like to achieve can help you find a psychotherapist in Salisbury who specialises in your needs.

2. Look for Professional Accreditation
In the UK, trusted psychotherapists are often registered with bodies such as:

UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy)
BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy)
Even if you have found a local accredited psychotherapist in Wiltshire that you are considering, do check that they are registered with one of these organisations. This ensures you’re working with someone who has undergone extensive training, is committed to ethical practice, and receives professional supervision.

3. Explore Therapy Approaches in Salisbury
Different therapists use different models, including:

Psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy – understanding how past experiences shape current patterns.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) – practical tools for changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.
Humanistic or integrative therapy – focusing on personal growth, meaning, and resilience.
Hypnotherapy in Salisbury – a powerful tool for anxiety, phobias, and stress reduction.
EMDR therapy – highly effective for trauma and PTSD.
At Mustard Therapy and Coaching for example we integrate the approaches of Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Counselling and Life Coaching which means that we tailor the style to the individual. It can be hard to know exactly what approach is going to provide the progress that you are looking forward.

When choosing a therapist in Salisbury, remember that the relationship often matters more than the technique or style.

4. Consider Practical Details
Finding the right counsellor or psychotherapist near you is also about convenience:

Many therapists are based in central Salisbury or surrounding villages.
Online therapy sessions are increasingly available, making access easier across Wiltshire and nearby towns like Amesbury, Wilton, and Andover.
Fees vary, but many psychotherapists in Salisbury offer free or reduced-price initial consultations so you can see if it feels right for you. It is important that you feel safe and heard with the therapist and within the space they work from.
5. Trust the Connection
The most important factor in effective therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. After an initial session, ask yourself:

Did I feel understood and respected?
Was the space comfortable and safe?
Can I imagine building trust with this therapist over time?
If the answer is yes, you’ve likely found the right person for you which will be key in your moving forward to get to where you want to be.

6. Take the First Step Towards Change
If you’re searching for “psychotherapist near me” in Salisbury or across Wiltshire, you’ll find many experienced professionals ready to support you. Reaching out can feel daunting, but it’s a powerful act of self-care and prioritising your well-being.

At Mustard Therapy & Coaching in Salisbury, we provide psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and coaching for adults, teenagers, and children. Together, we’ll create a safe, supportive space where you can explore your challenges, discover new perspectives, and move towards positive change.

Contact Us
✨ Contact us today to arrange an initial consultation in Salisbury or online — and take the first step towards restoring balance, confidence, being who you want to be in your life.

https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/contact-us/

12/09/2025

Therapy and Counselling for infertility

Is it all in the mind? Whilst the answer is usually 'not completely', with our therapy and counselling for infertility service we know that there is often a two-way interplay between both physical and psychological whereby we can unwittingly be reducing chances of conceiving still further or reducing our coping strategies to respond to our infertility journey.
Whilst our counselling for infertility cannot guarantee a pregnancy will occur from working with a client, it can increase/maximise the chances following work in the therapeutic space.
All we can say is that there is a wealth of research showing that hormone levels, ovulation and other reproductive factors may well be affected by what is going on in your head. Therapy and counselling for infertility really can help.

With fertility you are often part of a couple, so with action/options/process; you may need to go at the pace of the “slower” individual. It is all about time-time seems to be running out. Reality is that there is a window of opportunity. As that clock is ticking, a client may be consulting us as an alternative to conventional fertility treatments, or an adjunct to.
As they are not contraindicated treatments, maximum chance in conceiving is in taking advantage of all. One (body) without the other (mind) can be ineffective.
But in our therapy and counselling for fertility service we work with fertility clients on all sorts of levels-
The focus of our work with clients is not just about hopefully getting pregnant, but is about helping our male or female client to re-establish control over their lives. It may be dealing with the emotional toll of infertility treatments, or down the line accepting that they still have a life beyond not having children.
Our therapy and counselling for infertility clients are more likely to be women, but not necessarily so. The devastation for men is often brushed over or belittled.
Once a couple decides to try for a baby, as the months pass, all too soon it can become all encompassing, even obsessive. If month after month it continues not to happen – either party can experience feeling detached and isolated from the world, a profound sense of sadness, scared of ‘what this might mean’.
Infertility affects one in seven couples within the UK. The journey can be an emotional rollercoaster with an unpredictable end. Individuals involved can often feel helpless. This can negatively affect their relationship with their partner, withdrawing from the person who was previously their primary source of support, leaving both parties feeling isolated in their grief.
The feelings of helplessness, and sometimes irrational guilt or inadequacy, can be further exacerbated if, beyond medical investigations, the reasons for not being able to conceive are unexplained (no identified male or female cause) as in 25% of cases.
But few couples are aware that infertility can, in many cases, be exacerbated or even caused by psychological factors.
The mind has enormous power over the body, which is constantly influenced by our emotions, thoughts and beliefs. While many physical factors may be responsible or contributing to infertility, our mindset can affect the delicately- balanced hormonal system which, in turn, controls ovulation, s***matogenesis, implantation of a foetus and maintaining the pregnancy to term. So, by addressing these subconscious barriers, a wealth of clinical evidence shows we can increase our chances of natural conception, and IVF and other assisted fertility treatments’ success rates.
Stress can have a big effect on fertility. Stress hormones affect the hypothalamus, pituitary glands and reproductive organs. In women and men under stress, the reproductive hormone prolactin is over-produced. The hypothalamus stops secreting gonadotrophin releasing hormone, which in turn will affect the release of both the luteinising hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone. As these hormones play a part in stimulating ovulation and s***m production, fertility can be affected in both partners.
The neurochemical barrage associated with stress and the activation of the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) can be as easily triggered by a threat to self-esteem or dignity, such as a woman’s perception of herself as “failing” to conceive, a fear of not being a good parent, as by an actual physical threat. A highly stressful job, unresolved guilt over a previous abortion or other traumatic incident, anxiety, depression, or even experience with numerous invasive infertility-related procedures, can have the same result. Stress activating subconscious blocks can be a causal factor in infertility whether there is an additional physiological cause or not.
With the release of “emergency” hormones throughout the body, the body is on alarm, and energy is directed toward the areas needed for actual “fight” or “flight” such as the arms and legs, and away from areas the brain considers less important. Unfortunately, the reproductive system is the most expendable. Nature is invested in us NOT conceiving at times of stress or perceived threat, as it is not the optimal time of survival for us or future offspring, when the body’s responses are needed elsewhere.
The more men have s*x, or ej*****te in other ways, the more healthy s***m they will produce. But what happens to a man’s libido if he is depressed, or if s*x become a chore, or he feels his partner is just treating him like ‘s***m donation’? There is also growing evidence that female or**sm also aids fertility by helping s***m into the cervix.

Tips for increasing fertility
*Talk to partner calmly and rationally so you can make decisions that are best for both of you
*Reduce stress so enhancing chance of conceiving either naturally or with assisted reproductive methods, such as IVF
*Identify through therapy and counselling for infertility any subconscious blocks to conceiving
*Ensure you give focus to aspects of your life outside of fertility issues, even if you don’t always feel like it
*Discover s*xual intimacy as a pleasurable experience again for both of you, so that it doesn’t feel like a chore
*Spend time with your partner, re-discover your life as a couple
*Seek the right psychological support to help you regain sense of control over your life. If pursuing fertility treatments, this will help you cope without feeling as if your life and body have been taken over
*Look for ways of bringing regular practice of relaxation into your life; such as self-hypnosis, meditation, yoga.
*While investigations and treatments are more often focussed on a woman, we must remember the emotional toll can be great for your male partner too.
*Think about exercise and diet as conception requires a healthy response from the reproductive system.

If any of these issues affect you or someone you know, find out more about our therapy & counselling for infertility service now by contacting us at https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

05/09/2025

How to stop intrusive thoughts

First of all…realise that we all have intrusive thoughts at times. It is part of being human, so don’t allow intrusive thoughts to send you into a panic spiral. Instead acknowledge they are present and focus on managing them in the present.

Who taught your ‘intrusive thoughts’ parrot to speak?
Notice that intrusive thoughts are never positive, supportive, encouraging.
Imagine you were given a parrot had been taught to say kind words, empathetic greetings, things that made you smile or feel good; whilst clever that it is imitating speech, but it has no knowledge, wisdom or insight as to the effect that it is having on you. In order words it has no intention to help you feel good.
However if someone in a previous relationship, a partner, parent, a bully from the past or maybe even a teacher had been constantly pointing out your flaws, constantly putting you down, giving you messages that you are not good enough..the parrot in your head may be imitating them. Therefore with the reflection and insight you have now, recognise that what the parrot was taught to say was not right back then, so why are you listening to it now in terms of intrusive thoughts?
Give your parrot some new speech that reflects your self worth and acknowledges that you are good enough.
We are allowing whoever taught it the intrusive thoughts parrot in the past to affect the way we live our lives –the way we behave towards others, how we are, what
we think about others, what we think about the world, and how we think and feel about ourselves. They didn’t deserve the power then, and they certainly don’t now or in your future. Be consistent and the intrusive thoughts parrot will eventually get fed up and fly off.

Intrusive thoughts about comparing ourselves with others
Notice the intrusive thoughts bias of who you are comparing yourself to. For example if you are telling yourself you never achieve anything, you are likely to be noticing only the people who have talked publicly about their acheivements. If you are telling yourself that you are wasting your life, you will notice only the people who seem to have been everywhere, done everything and more.
So acknowledge your intrusive thoughts are biasing the sample you are comparing yourself with. If you are basing what people are saying on social media, acknowledge that most people display their ‘airbrushed lives’ on there. They will rarely post about failures or their own intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts filter out evidence that doesn’t fit our negative self beliefs

Maybe you find yourself downplaying or even ignoring compliments.
If you have a belief that, for example, you are not good enough, you are likely to have ignored evidence to the contrary and continue to do so.
Write down achievements and compliments from the past; anything that disputes your intrusive thoughts. Challenge the seeming confirmatory evidence as it is not going to be the full picture. We are all human, none of us are perfect so allow mistakes and failures as they are all part of our growing and developing as a person.

If your intrusive thoughts are particularly intrusive or distressing, please do seek professional help from a psychotherapist, preferably one who is a hypnotherapist also. That way we can work effectively with stopping the emotional brain resisting long term change.

https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/what-we-can-help-with/

22/08/2025

What is hypnobirthing? Modern hypnobirthing practice and history

In our specialist easibirthing® Fertility, Hypnobirthing, Pregnancy & Parenting service, we believe that the best birth is the one that is right for THIS mum and THIS baby. Every woman deserves to be supported regardless of the mode of delivery.
Labour can be unpredictable, and an emergency caesarean can be the right decision for some women and babies so an important role of a hypnobirthing course should be to build a repertoire of techniques to deal with when it doesn't go according to plan.

The hypnobirthing revolution through history
When we ask the question What is Hypnobirthing we need to be aware that the practice of hypnobirthing, or use of hypnosis in childbirth, as we know it today has a history stretching right back to the early 20th century. However lest we forget the contributions from Aristotle and the ancient world, contemporary observations and practices were a return in some ways to what we have always known and in many cultures across the world, what we have always done.
Dr Grantly Dick Reid was an obstetrician in London in the early 1900s. He observed through his work with birthing women that “There is no physiological function in the body that gives rise to pain in the normal course of health. In no other animal species is the process of birth apparently associated with any suffering, pain or agony, except where pathology exists or in an unnatural state, such as captivity.” Dick-Reid published his famous book ‘Childbirth without Fear’ in 1933. His principles were the foundation of the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) in the UK.
Over the last century, a revolution has taken place in childbirth, and the pendulum is swinging towards women feeling empowered to be in control of how and where to birth their babies, and to be in control of decisions when clinical need necessitates a deviation from their preferences and intended plan. In this way, they embrace their unique birth experience with the medical professionals bringing their expertise to best support, advise and intervene only where needed.
Sheila Kitzinger and Ina May Gaskin were midwives who played important parts in encouraging women to give their bodies and minds the opportunity to show what they are really capable of.
Michel Odent, an obstetrician introduced birthing pools to his unit at Pithiviers near Paris in the 1980s and encourage women to give birth in whatever position they felt comfortable, often squatting, kneeling or standing with support.
The person accredited with the origin of the actual term Hypnobirthing is Michelle Leclaire O'Neill in 1987 in her book ‘Hypnobirthing: The original method”. Since that time there have been a number of pioneers in the fields who have developed models of hypnobirthing across the world whose innovative methods and approaches have shaped the hypnobirthing world.
Sharon Mustard conceptualised the easibirthing® method in 1997 in conjunction with midwives to develop a hypnobirthing method which would best reflect UK birthing practices. Today, the easibirthing® method is taught throughout the world and has the in-built flexibility to be adapted to fit work alongside the birthing practice in your local region.

What is hypnobirthing?
Hypnobirthing isn’t teaching you how to give birth. You don’t need to attend a course of any kind for that; your body and your baby already know how to bring that baby forth. What you are learning through hypnobirthing is how to gracefully step out of the way and let them get on with it.
That requires a few things:
· Trust that your body and baby can do this
· Confidence that you have the right people around you and you feel safe and comfortable enough to let go
· Familiarity with that no-higher brain, no thinking, relaxed state that you can easily slip into and tune out distractions.
The process of using hypnosis for birth preparation can be misleadingly subtle. It is an amalgamation of lots of little things that, when brought together, create a huge shift in mindset.
Sometimes couples say that their baby’s birth was so swift that they didn’t have time to use the hypnobirthing, as if it were a switch they forgot to press rather than the approach and preparation that led them to be calm, confident, empowered parents able to create the optimal conditions in which their baby was born.
This is not about having a ‘designer birth’ but instead equipping you with the psychological skills to adjust to whatever may be happening, and the confidence to use those skills (your sense of mastery).
These goals do not need to change simply because you are having a C-section rather than an experience of vaginal birth and labour
Our hypnobirthing courses are not about trying to change your mind, nor trying to convince you that another option should be considered
However we do want you to know what your rights are in making choices and decisions. Feeling ownership of decisions can be the make or break of having a positive birth experience, one that you can look back on with pride, fond memories, and confidence.
It is not about provoking shame and guilt, instead we acknowledge that circumstances often dictate the right mode of delivery for you and your baby.
Our courses are about building your confidence-in you, your body, your birth partner and the medical team around you.
If there are any feelings of guilt, shame or failure; it is about letting go of them and moving forward to be the parent you want to be.
But did you know that hypnobirthing is suitable for an elective or planned C-section birth too?
For too long the debate has solely been centred around whether a vaginal birth or C-section is the optimal mode of delivery for both you and your baby. And whilst that debate is important, it often misses the point of providing the woman with the full psychological support regardless of the decision.
Even this debate played out publicly across the media and society can leave a woman who needs or wants a C-section feeling inadequate, feeling her body is inadequate somehow and guilt and shame can result. Sadly this guilt and shame can be in the foreground of her experience, even if the birth experience she wanted was far from the scenario of a necessary or recommended C-section. These women need all the support we can muster, to let go of any guilt, that this is not only not her fault but the reassurance that it is okay, that this doesn’t change the fact that she is still having her baby, giving birth to her baby, becoming a mum to her baby. That she has every reason to feel proud of herself and her body. That sometimes things don’t go according to plan, and to forgive herself because there is nothing to forgive!
So next time you ask 'What is hypnobirthing?' why not give us a call or read our testimonials at https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

15/08/2025

Dr Andrew Mayers of Bournemouth University has conducted a research study looking specifically at how men feel about the support they receive during their partner’s pregnancy. At easibirthing® and parenting, we completely believe the study’s reported feelings of exclusion in the whole process and pregnancy and birth can be extended to any non-birthing parent regardless of gender. Support for new dads is often difficult to access and our clients often report feeling sidelined or their needs ignored.

Given how prevalent post natal depression and anxiety can be amongst new parents, regardless whether they have given birth or not, it is time as a society that we give them to space and support to adjust during pregnancy and childbirth to help prevent adverse mental health beyond. Support for new dads will benefit all members of the family.

New dads are pivotal in supporting new mum’s mental health...
One of the key study outcomes was fathers feeling they are not getting enough recognition from healthcare professionals about how they might play an active role in supporting their partner’s mental health.

Faced with the circumstance of birth trauma, several participants reported not receiving any support or information regarding postnatal mental illness and how they could support their partner pre- or post-birth. Other participants stated that they would have benefitted from having someone to talk to about their situation.

Many new dads felt alienated in health service appointments...
Fathers often felt alienated and are unclear regarding their role within maternity services. Many fathers reported feeling isolated and ignored during and following traumatic birth experiences, such as following an emergency caesarean section or any other deviation from a birth plan, especially if there is potential risk of harm, or death for the mother or child.

At easibirthing® and parenting, our goal is to fully involve both expectant parents where possible and for the process of hypnobirthing for both labour, vaginal birth and c-section to be modes of delivery for their baby that they are equipped with the tools to adapt even when circumstances dictate the birth is not going accordingly to original plan. This way both parents enter this new phase of their life with confidence, calm and feeling positive about their birth experience. All the time knowing that the support of a therapist is available at hand should they need it.

https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/fertility-pregnancy-hypnobirthing-parenting/

08/08/2025

Is counselling and psychotherapy for young people effective?

At Mustard Therapy and Coaching, we regularly receive communication from concerned parents about counselling and psychotherapy for young people. The sense of helplessness as a parent resonates, especially as both of our therapists are parents too (and also grandparents to 3 younger children!). When a young person is suffering from anxiety or depression , self harming or struggling with the demands of school and friendships we are here to help. Referrals from parents often come with a history of trying to access psychotherapy or counselling and either not being successful due to long nhs waiting lists or their son or daughter having seen a counsellor or psychotherapist and not felt that the therapy on offer was helping and the conclusion was that that was not the right person for them.

Traditional counselling and psychotherapy for young people can leave them feeling dismissed or patronised...
At Mustard Therapy and Coaching our therapists have worked hard over our 31 years experience as therapists to develop a way of working flexible enough to build the trust of young people so that they feel heard and understood. Traditional counselling and psychotherapy for young people can often leave them feeling dismissed , patronised and generally being handed a set of formulaic exercises that not only requires a level of effort and commitment that they do not have the capacity nor energy to work with, but it is reminiscent of “more homework”. They often then switch off from the therapy, adding the counsellor or psychotherapist to a long line of adults that are not able to help them address what is going on.

A flexible counselling and psychotherapy approach utilising hypnotherapy is more effective...
Giving a young person tools to use when they feel overwhelmed with their emotions , in conflict with parents or when a friendship ends can empower them to make real change. However this needs to be an approach designed around having got to know them as an individual, taking their worries seriously. What may seem trivial to an adult may be huge for them. Their expectation that you will feel they are “being silly” or “making a big deal out of nothing” may come form their experiences with other adults having given this message. These messages may have been from parents, extended family, teachers or even older siblings. This dismissive message sadly adds to feeling inadequate, not good enough and feelings of shame. The vicious cycle of overwhelming emotions that result often leads to developing coping strategies that are destructive and more likely to lead to further shame anxiety , feeling depressed and social withdrawal. When our therapists work with young people, we build a toolbox which utilises their fantastic imagination with hypnotherapy techniques that may be about visualising handing back responsibility for what others have said or done, for stopping ruminating anxiety of feeling responsible and accountable for what may have happened, regulating emotional reactions to parents and teachers.

https://mustardtherapy.co.uk/how-we-can-help/

If you are talking with a young person, please validate their emotions, anxieties and low moods. Is it is important to them, it needs to be important to you...
If you wish to have a confidential conversation about how an integration of counselling , psychotherapy & hypnotherapy may be able to help then one of our therapists at Mustard Therapy & Coaching would be happy to speak with you. Our advice…don’t wait to crisis point, seek out therapy options early.

01/08/2025

Why do we avoid making decisions?
Learn how to make decisions with confidence
Many of you know that I (Sharon) hail from Northern Ireland originally. My trips back to see my extended family there often brings a new quirky discovery about life in Northern Ireland.
My favourites have been pear picking porky ice lollies (look it up), red lemonade (yes, really!) OR to***co onions (again, google it!)..
The latest bizarre trend seems to be takeaway venues (known as ‘carry outs’ in Northern Ireland) offering the option of ‘half chips, half rice’. It has left me wondering about whether we are able to make a choice or decision anymore.
Making one choice in life and therefore rejecting another is something we often avoid. But why?
1. Making a choice or decision always involves a loss. We have to accept that we are automatically rejecting and denying ourselves the other option. It may be a new job-that involves leaving the one we are in and everything that that involves. Moving away from a relationship would involve changes, regardless of whether it is in our best interests.
2. Making a choice or decision takes confidence. We need to believe our own ability to make the RIGHT choice. However it is important to remember that we only have the information available to us at the time to make the decision. Therefore if a new job doesn’t work out, remember hindsight is the future’s wisdom. It is likely that we couldn’t have known the new information that came to light later.
3. We may have a fear of making the wrong choice. We worry about if we would we judged by others? Would we be able to cope with the consequences. If in the past we were judged, criticised or even punished for previous decisions we may be averse to repeating this. However we need to recognise that the belief that it will result in negative consequences this time belongs to the past. It is your anxiety talking and not based on any rational evidence of likelihood. You have more life experience now and so have the emotional resources to be resilient if this does happen.
4. Perfectionism may be stopping us making the decision. However if we are waiting until be are 100% confident of our choice, we will never get there. This is unrealistic, giving us a fantasy of control that doesn’t exist. We are human and therefore fallible; life is uncertain and unpredictable. Real self-confidence involves becoming comfortable with both of these truisms.
5. Fear of failure can keep us from that choice. It is ok to make mistakes because we can fix them, learn from them and move forward.
Don’t be paralysed in making a decision. Be confident. If you choose rice, you can always have the chips next time!!!

Address

6 Enterprise House, Boathouse Meadow Business Park, Cherry Orchard Lane

SP2 7LD

Opening Hours

Monday	09:00 - 21:00
Tuesday	09:00 - 15:30
Wednesday	17:30 - 21:00
Thursday	09:00 - 15:30
Saturday	09:00 - 17:30

Website

http://www.easibirthing.com/

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Our Story

Sharon is a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in Salisbury, Wiltshire where she runs a practice with her husband Stewart. Whilst the practice deals with all aspects of psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and counselling for emotional and mental health, Sharon also specialises in support for fertility, childbirth and the post natal period. The service provides nhs-funded pregnancy workshops, hypnobirthing courses and one-to-one support. Sharon also trains other hypo-psychotherapists throughout the UK to work in these areas. “Being a parent isn’t about what you give up when you have a child, but what you gain from having one.” Baby bump As a parent of 3, I am all too aware that the journey to becoming a parent can sometimes feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with the highest highs and the lowest lows. When we embark on this phase in our lives, the only one thing that is absolutely certain is that having a baby changes everything, and life will never be the same again. Issues around fertility The conception part for you might be straightforward. But for some couples, the first steps on that road to becoming a parent can be arduous. Once a couple/woman decides to try for a baby, all too soon as the months pass it can become all encompassing, all consuming, often obsessive. You can find it difficult to focus on other aspects of your life. The mind has enormous power over the body, which is constantly influenced by our emotions, thoughts and beliefs. There are many factors responsible for infertility, and our emotions can affect the delicately balanced hormonal system, which in turn controls ovulation, s***m production and pregnancy. To aid natural conception or assisted options such as IVF, hypnotherapy is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress and increase feelings of calmness and relaxation. Hypnosis can also help to restore confidence in yourself and your body. Being in a state of hypnosis can be useful as a means to resolve any issues around managing stress or unconscious blocks that may be affecting your ability to conceive and become a parent. Finally…we are pregnant! And then one way or another, it happens! During the transition period of pregnancy, there is much to celebrate. But what if it is not plain sailing? Feeling anxious or low during pregnancy can be confusing and debilitating. Therapy can help you explore your thoughts and feelings and help you to enjoy the adjustment period towards becoming a parent. And then all too soon, you are preparing to meet your baby for the first time. This can be exciting but also overwhelming for some men and women. Hypnobirthing for the main event Birth has the potential to be one of the most wonderful experiences of your life. Childbirth is a natural physiological process that a woman’s body is fully equipped for. Each birth is unique, and easibirthing® is about empowering you to manage your individual experience, not fear it. We train you to use self-hypnosis, relaxation, visualisation and breathing methods to prepare mind and body for birth. The easibirthing® method teaches you how to use hypnosis for pain management and aims to boost your trust in your body so you enter labour feeling calm, confident and in control. This is about reaching a state of deep relaxation, maintaining perception of control over the process and developing a positive attitude. It is about changing your expectation of birth so that you help rather than hinder the natural process, and develop valuable life skills for parenthood. Positive Mental Health in the Post Natal period Parenthood is surrounded by myths. There are myths about what it takes to be a good mother or father, about how to ensure your child thrives, about what material things you need, and about how a good mother should think, feel and act so that her child is successful and happy. So in the vulnerable period of the weeks and months after your baby is born into the world, it can feel like whatever you do is wrong or ‘not good enough’. The ‘I should be’ or ‘I shouldn’t be’ tendency can feel overpowering at times. We talk about the birth of a mother, and the birth of a father. Whilst being a parent is the real you, it is a part of you that never existed before. It is a new role requiring new skills and a completely new set of rules. It is important that you have the right support available to enable a smooth transition to parenting so that you can enjoy the experience with your partner, any older children and your new baby. If you would prefer to bring your baby along to the appointment, then you are welcome to do so. Becoming a parent can be fulfilling and enjoyable. However for some women and men it can continue to feel very daunting and overwhelming after the initial few days/weeks. We empower our clients to recognise and overcome unhelpful thoughts, and to regain a sense of control in their lives. Visit us on www.easibirthing.co.uk for more information, birth stories, clinical evidence for the use of hypnosis in fertility and childbirth.