04/11/2025
As some of you may be aware, yesterday 3rd November 2025 marked a day of peaceful protest against the systems failing thousands of children. This peaceful protest was called “every pair tells a story” and involved people placing shoes outside to show just how many children are or have been failed. I unfortunately couldn’t make it to this event that took place nationally so I decided to write a blog.
My education began the moment I left school.
School taught me to sit still. Adulthood taught me that movement is self regulation. While I was at school I’d be punished for things such as swinging on chairs, clicking my pen or shaking my leg. School gave out behaviour warnings and verbal warnings which pathalogised these behaviours making me believe I was wrong or misbehaving. As I’ve gotten older I have realised that it’s okay to do these things and it’s my brain and body’s way of surviving in a world that just isn’t made for my neurodivergent brain.
School taught me to mask. Adulthood taught me that the most important and powerful person I could ever be is my true self. While I was at school I was taught to conform and hide my true self in order to fit in with everyone else. Eventually I learnt that the only way I was going to get through school is by masking and pretending I was “normal”. This would help me make “friends” and avoid getting things wrong. Unfortunately, this led to me being burnt out and having multiple days off school weekly which were then marked as unauthorised and my Mom being threatened with being fined instead of me getting the support I so desperately needed. As an adult I have found my tribe in Super Sen CIC and everyone embraces me for who I truly am. Affirming spaces like Super Sen CIC ensure that neurodivergent individuals can be their authentic self without being judged and discriminated against. It is spaces like Super Sen CIC that have saved my life and helped me realise that there’s nothing wrong with being neurodivergent and I am amazing just the way I am.
School taught me to fear failure. Adulthood taught me that mistakes are important in order to learn more. While I was at school I was the kind of child/young person that wanted to follow the rules. Schools implemented a lot of behavioural reward systems in which you’d be rewarded for things like sitting still, not talking, good manners and resilience. I wanted to get all rewards and although I managed to mask and get these rewards it came with a massive cost. These things weren’t so easy for me. When I am anxious I struggle to sit still as I stim, I have selective mutism so just saying what I needed to say was hard enough and remembering manners and using them was near enough impossible and as for resilience… I used up all my resilience waking up, getting dressed and getting into school. This means putting on that mask and doing all of these things left me in a state of burnout and I then struggled at home. Everyone looked past this though as I was very well behaved so I couldn’t have been struggling… right? As an adult I have learnt it’s okay to get things wrong and getting things wrong gives opportunities to learn more about certain subjects. Nobody knows every answer to everything (even if some people act like they do).
School taught me to obey. Adulthood taught me boundaries are important and saying no does not need an apology. While I was at school I was taught to do what teachers or any adult says without questioning it. “Respect your elders”, “adults know best” and other phrases were used a lot. Through these repetitive phrases, school threatening consequences, rewards and “expected behaviours”, I was taught that what I wanted to say or do didn’t matter. Whatever the adult says goes. Boundaries were only allowed if it wasn’t to someone older than you like a teacher and even then most of the time they were dismissed as I was just “being silly”. As an adult I have learnt that boundaries are so important, I would argue one of the most important things you can do in life is set boundaries with EVERYONE around you. The word “no” is a full sentence and it absolutely doesn’t need an apology before, after or during the word.
School taught me to shrink. Adulthood taught me to take up as much space as I need. While at school I was taught to not move, ignore my needs and manage my emotions in order to not disrupt the class. School controlled both my physical and emotional needs so that I could fit into the extremely structured environment. A few examples of schools shrinking students in general are schools telling you to sit still at desks, ignore the fact you are hungry or need to use the toilet and ensuring you ignore and mask your emotions so that you don’t disrupt the class. As an adult I have learnt that my needs are important and if that means I need to take up extra space then that’s ok. I don’t need to shrink to fit in, the world needs to expand so that neurodivergent people can fit whilst being their true selves.
They taught me to survive their system. I taught myself to live.
———
Thank you for reading this, if this message speaks to you, reach out, share it, start a conversation.
📩 Email me: keerayprsupersencic@gmail.com
