Making Emotions Matter

Making Emotions Matter BACP approved, Integrative Counselling Therapist based in Rochford, Essex

My new garden room. A peaceful and private setting to welcome you to.
06/02/2023

My new garden room. A peaceful and private setting to welcome you to.

04/02/2023

What does it actually mean to resolve your past?

1. Practice self compassion: we judge ourselves (and other people) so harshly. We practice self compassion by being the wise, loving parent we wished we had. This means speaking to ourselves kindly, being curious, open, and allowing ourselves to make mistakes.

2. Notice how past behaviors and coping mechanisms show up to keep us safe: our past shows up in the way we cope. The way we cope are survival adaptations. Notice them without judgment. Practice healthier ways of coping.

3. Realize when the issue at hand is deeper than the issue at hand: your partner makes a joke about you always being late. You feel your heart racing. You lash out. You “overreact.” After some space you realize in that moment you felt like you did when your father would criticize you— not good enough, not lovable. You breathe. Apologize and open up to your partner

An interesting thing to reflect on. Our judgements often say more about us than the people we are making them about. We ...
04/02/2023

An interesting thing to reflect on. Our judgements often say more about us than the people we are making them about. We can only accept other people as far as we have accepted ourselves and our own faults, mistakes and “dark” side.
The more we learn to be kind to ourselves and our own fallibility, the kinder we can be to others.

Our reactions are related to our experiences. Those who have always had to survive, fight and push through the brain and...
02/02/2023

Our reactions are related to our experiences.
Those who have always had to survive, fight and push through the brain and body’s natural fear responses due to trauma and adversity can get “stuck” in a state of fear, anxiety and hyper vigilance, where everything feels like a threat and this leaves a lasting mark on the nervous system.
With therapy, we can learn to understand what is happening within our mind and body and gradually find ways to heal and feel safe again.
It is possible to feel better ❤️

My private therapy room is up and running, ready to welcome face to face clients ( with appropriate Covid restrictions i...
12/09/2020

My private therapy room is up and running, ready to welcome face to face clients ( with appropriate Covid restrictions in place). Please contact me to have a no obligation discussion about your needs from Counselling.

Let’s talk about su***de....People often have a misconception that people who commit su***de “chose” to do so, that in t...
11/09/2020

Let’s talk about su***de....
People often have a misconception that people who commit su***de “chose” to do so, that in the moment they could mentally process other options and a different way out of the pain they are feeling. That they were able to think about their family, friends and loved ones in this moment and the implications their actions would have. This is not always the case. When things have become so dark that ending your life feels like the only option, it is an incredibly difficult and painful place to be. To feel like people around you and the world would be a better place without you in it. To feel like it’s the only way to stop what you’re feeling.
Take a moment to appreciate how hard it must be to be in that frame of mind and how desperate and lonely it must feel, and try and show as much kindness, compassion and love as possible to those we know who are finding life hard. Encourage them to just talk about it... hear them. If nothing else, sharing our pain and our shame can be incredibly healing.
There is a way through the pain, things can get better, all suffering is temporary, and encouraging people to see this and realise how loved they are and that there are always options can really help.
For those families and friends affected by su***de of loved ones, of course it is ok to feel angry, sad, guilty and a huge range of emotions in between. Ultimately though, if someone commits su***de it is never anyone else’s fault. It was that persons decision in that moment and felt like the only solution to them.
All we can do is encourage people to seek help and be able to reframe and let out some of their dark feelings before they make this decision . To let them realise it’s ok not to be ok. Su***de is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.
The biggest part we can play is to be there, to listen, to love.
If you are suffering reach out- to a family member, a friend, counsellor...anyone. The Samaritans are a confidential service available 24/7 to be there and support you through feelings of distress or despair. Phone: 0330 094 5717. You are never alone.

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124 Ask Me
Southend-on-Sea
SS43TB

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