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Wave Counselling

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Wave Counselling

Welcome! Are you facing challenges in your life or struggling with difficult thoughts, feelings or behaviours? I can offer you the support to get you through.

A fully certified male counsellor based in Stourbridge in the West Midlands.

12/04/2026

It's been quite some time since I posted anything and I'm sat here trying to work out the reason why.

I think it was my grandmother who used to say - if you haven't got anything good to say then don't say it - and this sentiment has always stuck with me. So is this the reason...?

If you are not already dead then you will have noticed there's a glut of individuals posting excellent content on any conceivable subject on multiple platforms, so it can be easy sometimes to feel a level of insignificant when posting in a mire of output.

A friend of mine told me once to keep being unique by which I believe she meant, keep being yourself. Me being me I misinterpreted this as don't try and copy everyone else's content! So here's it is, keeping it real with the simple written word on a piece of 'virtual' paper.

I'm chuckling to myself because this post could potentially be seen as saying nothing of any true value. But, equally, there's something in here about tapping into authenticity and being true to yourself. The devils in the detail so they say and it's important to be able to express yourself, in all that you do, in a way that feels genuine and true.

Authenticity often rears its head in my work with clients. It's especially common in ADHD where individuals have spent a lifetime trying to be accepted and fit in and they have disconnected with or devalued the core of what makes them, them.

Reconnecting and valuing what makes you unique is invaluable work.

So here I am reconnecting with a part of myself in some small way and it feels wholesome and true.

If you enjoyed this post please give it a like. If you think it's a pointless post in a mire of all the rest then please say so. If that's your authentic then go for it!

*This is an authentic and original post from Wave Counselling

01/02/2026

Do you ever get triggered by a person, an event or even just a random thought!?

It could be the slightest relatable thing that happens or maybe even the feeling comes first and then you find the negative thoughts to justify that feeling...

These negative thoughts and feelings spiral and within a split second your chest feels heavy and the feelings of dread and fear and vulnerability wash over you. Your breathing feels restricted and you have an overwhelming urge to run away and to escape whatever it is that triggered you

But the crazy thing is it's not the trigger you need to escape from. It's the feelings you need to escape from that are screwing up your insides. When you rationalise the trigger you often realise the fear is irrational, it's not real. The issue therefore is not escaping the trigger but understanding the catastrophic reaction to it and the source of the associated anxiety. Often this stems from personal insecurity and a lack of self belief.

Talking therapy can help you get to the route of your anxieties before you quit your job, leave your relationship or journey to the southern hemisphere to try to escape, ultimately, yourself.

If you do want to escape quickly though, I wouldn't recommend a barge...

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like, comment or share of you enjoyed this.

18/01/2026

I want to share this inspiring photo taken in Coalport yesterday along the River Severn.

It's beautiful for many reasons. The river banks look serene and picturesque contrasting against the river itself that looks wild and vital. There's a sense of this picture postcard scene having existed for hundreds of years. Man and nature gloriously intertwined.

When I see flowing water whether it's a turbulent seascape or a flowing river it reminds me of the passing of time, continuity, and the inevitable forward progression of all things. This photo is both rooted in a bygone era, with the ancient bridge and timeless dwellings, and rooted in the future with the march of the burbling river.

For me it represents our lives, rooted in history yet forever pushing forwards unabated.

What a wonderful and precious thing life is. What a glorious thing it is to be able to sit and stare and contemplate and marvel at the beauty all around.

01/01/2026

They say the devil is in the detail but I would contest that and say that "life" is in the detail...

As we enter the new year I notice many people are rejecting the concept of new year's resolutions. "What's the point as I never keep them" I heard Paul Whitehouse say...or words to that effect...

A friend of mine posed this question which I thought reflected, better, changing attitudes...

What would you like to leave behind in 2025?

This is a more powerful statement as it moves us from a position of what we think we "should" do - and anyone who has experienced the benefits of counselling will understand that this should statement is not always our own words - to a position of empowerment. What would I believe would enhance my life.

We can get focused on work and chores, commitments and goals but life is in the cracks in between these things:

A chance encounter, a strangers smile, a shared understanding, a beam of sunlight on your work station...

Try to let the light in this new year and leave the darkness behind.

*An original post by Wave Counselling.

24/12/2025

Autism often comes with a lot of self blame.

Autistic folk can struggle to come to terms with their difference.

"Why can't I handle this like everyone else?"

"I really dislike these autistic traits they make my life so hard."

Much counselling work focuses on self acceptance but how can you accept yourself in a world that's not designed for you...?

Reframing can be a powerful tool. If we can reduce the self-blame it can help.

For example try saying "this task/place isn't built for my nervous system" in place of "why can't I handle this".

Try "is this something I was taught to be ashamed of" instead of "this is a trait I genuinely dislike about myself".

You are different and not defective.

Reframing is particularly difficult with Autism as the belief that you are defective, sub standard or not enough can feel like black and white.

With the right network and support, change IS possible.

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like or share or follow if you found this useful ☺️

22/12/2025

I haven't written for some time but like Darth Vader I have been working on my dark side.

Swiss psychologist Carl Jungs' shadow work is becoming increasingly popular. He was fascinated by the idea that we all have a shadow self and if ignored...

"...the blacker and denser it can become".

There are hints to our shadow by the emotions we try to suppress, parts of our personality we judge harshly, and one that I find fascinating, the traits in others we get triggered by. It seems that we can be turned off from individuals that display traits that we strive to ignore or deny in ourselves.

There is a movement these days towards focusing on the positives and affirmations which have their place but what about facing up to our less admirable traits, desires and emotions...?

We are only human and like the proverbial curates egg are made up of both good and erm...less good.

You might ask, what good will this do!?

I believe at the heart of a good deal of therapy work individuals are searching for a similar goal which is to attain fulfillment, contentment or enlightenment even. We can only achieve this by connecting, accepting and having compassion for our whole self. This process can mean recognising and allowing for difficult truths. This is the essence of shadow work .

*An original article by Wave Counselling. Please like or follow if you found this article useful.

01/09/2025

This might be a controversial thing to say but drinking as a coping mechanism is very clever in many ways...

In a way, and bear with me on this, it's almost a form of mindfulness. If you consider the benefits of mindfulness, it brings you into the present and distracts you from anxieties and worries. Alcohol does the same and more. It relaxes you and reduces social anxieties. It helps you forget about today's worries and tomorrow's angst.

But..! And of course there is a big but. It's an unwieldy beast and difficult to manage. It whispers in your ear, just keep drinking and I'll help you...! If only this were true...

Drink doesn't keep it's promises. It's positive effects are temporary and the after affects long lasting... It's tendrils are far reaching and difficult to escape from. The answer is to rewrite your relationship and beliefs around alcohol and this takes courage and conviction.

Find professional support to help you on a journey that can change your life.

*An original article by Wave Counselling

28/08/2025

Now the real work can begin!

When you have been given a diagnosis it's important to know that a diagnosis for ADHD and/or Autism is not going to be the end of your problems but the start of a new journey of understanding.

Many people can interpret a diagnosis as meaning they are faulty or defective and can feel embarrassment or shame about their condition. Will people think less of me? Do I feel less of me? Is it reductive having this label? Am I just jumping on the band wagon. After all, everyone has it now don't they...?

Outsiders will often comment that you're "just the same old you!" To you, this seems to miss the point entirely. Everything about you, or what you knew about yourself, has been turned on it's head. After all, you didn't really expect to be told you had "it". But yet that's exactly what happened. By an expert! Okay, you must have just done a good job of deceiving them.

The next thing you're offered medication. Something perhaps you've not considered or are opposed to maybe. Is this going to fix the ADHD, or is it going to fix me! Who will I be then..!?

Medication won't fix you because you're not broken... read that again... you're not broken.. sure you're wired differently and medication may help life feel a bit more bearable. The diagnosis has helped you unlock a part of the puzzle, a clue to who you really are...

Now the real work can begin to uncover the authentic version of who you are...

*An original post by Wave Counselling

27/08/2025

It's been a while since I posted but I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share...

If you're on social media, you'll see a lot of reels and videos etc. talking about ADHD and common traits that you might see (and some that you might not) such as RSD, ability to focus, inability to focus, social anxiety/awkwardness, procrastination, sleep deprivation etc.etc.etc. There are even a few that propose that it's a super power...( I'm still working on that notion personally!).

However, I wanted to highlight that what ADHD is, is a neurodiversity, as in, your brain doesn't work in the same as the vast majority of other people. You're not just a collection of traits to be dissected and worked on.

We can examine the traits and find strategies to deal with them, so we can fit in to a neuro typical world, we can also work on accepting ourselves and finding a place which works for us...a neuro diverse friendly place.

Change, I believe, begins with acceptance.

*An original post by Wave Counselling

02/08/2025

I haven't posted for a while as I've been enjoying a break away.

It's easy in this modern, digital age to feel the pressure to keep up with the posting, messaging and maintaining of our digital presence. Stepping back for a while and taking a breather feels natural and provides an opportunity to come back with a renewed sense of energy to produce more genuine and inspiring content. It's important to be 'selfish' sometimes! This word has a bad rep but what it also means is making space for what's important to you. Be sure to take care of yourself this summer away from your digital presence.

Address

Stourbridge
DY8

Opening Hours

Monday	9am - 8:30pm
Tuesday	9am - 8:30pm
Wednesday	9am - 8:30pm
Thursday	9am - 8:30pm
Friday	9am - 8:30pm

Telephone

+447881127735

Website

http://www.wavecounselling.co.uk/

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