07/03/2026
I didnāt even notice my hands were shaking until my niece said āare you alright Auntie Joā?
We had all congregated in Mumās kitchen for lunch - ahead of her funeral the Monday of Christmas week.
Iād already written her Eulogy - she asked me a couple of months before and I told her I didnāt think I could do it.
But as she came closer to the end of her two and a half year Cancer Journey - to the end of her time here on this earth, I realised that not only could I do this for her but I wanted to.
Because who else would ever be able to do justice to her life like I could!?
My Brother and Sister being eminently more sensible than I, were never going to fight me for this job š
I felt all the pressure.
I listened to my body and followed its rhythms even when they made no sense to anyone else at all.
I poured my heart into writing, mostly in the dead of night!
And I listened to everyone telling me to have someone by my side to catch me when I fell.
Iām not going to lie⦠all this concern. This āyou donāt know how youāll feelā. āItās so difficultā. Had me feeling more than a little angry
Because this is quite literally what I help my clients with on a daily basisā¦. to work with the messages from their body. With their emotions. Their instinctive responses. To overcome this and other old conditioning!
By the time I said I would do it (I literally told Mum on the morning of the day she died) I already knew I couldā¦
Because Iād worked with every sensation and feeling that came up in my body since she asked.
But the shaking was still a problem⦠something Iād learnt over the years to accept, but always worried about.
Iād practiced that morning with the sound system in Church and all was good to go.
I knew I wouldnāt be hungry but needed to eat.
And there I was, hands shaking and telling my niece, this is why I was insisting on standing in the Pulpit not at a lecturn because behind a pulpit no one would see my legs shaking!
My voice - Iāve always managed to keep mostly steady. My body not so much!!!
And it hit me (honestly I donāt know why it took me so long) š¤Æ
The shaking is merely a trauma response. And in that moment I realised my body was getting ready to run, to fight or to hide⦠and possibly all three!!
And so as we drove the Church. It was a very short journey, but given we were following the hearse I had time..
I closed my eyes, shut out the world⦠and
I worked with my brain and where it stores emotional stress.
I worked with my body's instinctive responses.
Changing the negatives into positives, Rebalancing my body's responses and working on a cellular and DNA level to embody that it is, in fact safe.
I was safe.
This is something I do for my clients often. To overcome fear of public speaking. Driving on Motorways. Being visible. Holding wealth, gaining confidence, You name it.
And of course Iām only here talking to you because of my own journey healing from 28 years of migraines, PTSD and Chronic Fatigue.
And so there I found myself speaking to a packed Church. Another 150 or so outside
Spilling out of a marquee we put up just in case everyone couldnāt fit inside!
While I was literally honouring my Mum to the best of my ability, and talking to about 300 people, my brain was saying to me
āThis is seriously interesting!
Youāre delivering this without even the slightest tremourā!
I delivered the whole thing - which believe me Iād been crying buckets over as I wrote and as I practiced
without even the slightest shake!
So YES! People often ask me if I do my own work on myself.
And yes! It still blows my mind how powerful it is to lean in and work with the body.
This is by far the biggest mountain I ever climbed!