Cleft & Becoming

17/03/2026

❤️A letter your scar would write to you ❤️

Hi you,

I know you’ve had moments where you’ve wished I wasn’t here.
Where you’ve looked in the mirror and wondered what life would be like without me.

I’ve seen the stares with you.
Felt the questions land.
Heard the silence when you didn’t know what to say.

But I need you to understand something…

I was never placed here to take anything away from you.
I was placed here to show the world a different kind of strength.

Every time you smiled anyway - I was there.
Every time you walked into a room unsure, but did it anyway - was there.
Every time you chose to keep going - I was part of that story.

I am not something broken.
I am proof of everything you’ve overcome.

And one day…
you won’t wish me away.

You’ll realise -
I helped shape someone who is deeper, kinder, and stronger than they ever knew they could be.

And that person?

Is you.

Love,
Your scar 🤍

What would your scar say to you? 👇

12/03/2026

Something I’ve thought about a lot over the years…

If I could change one thing about how the world understands cleft lip and palate, it would be this:

It’s not “just cosmetic.”

Behind a cleft there are surgeries, hospital appointments, speech therapy, feeding struggles, questions, stares, and moments where confidence has to be built again and again.

But there is also resilience.
There is courage.
There are families who become incredibly strong.
And there are children who grow up learning that their differences don’t define their worth.

Living with a cleft shapes you in ways people don’t always see, but it can also shape incredible strength and compassion.

I’d love to know from others on this journey…

If you could change one thing about how people understand cleft lip and palate, what would it be?

Your words might help someone else feel seen today 🤍

09/03/2026

Sometimes I wonder what I would say to the younger version of me.

The little girl sitting in hospital waiting rooms.
The one who didn’t understand why she had to go through so many surgeries.
The one who worried about how people saw her.

I think I’d tell her this:

One day, your story will help someone else feel less alone.
One day, the thing that felt so heavy will become part of your strength.

And one day, you’ll realise your smile was never something that needed fixing it was always something that carried courage.

If you could say something to your younger self on this journey… what would it be? 🤍

04/03/2026

There comes a point in your cleft journey where something changes.

You stop hiding your smile.
You stop explaining yourself to everyone.
You stop apologising for something that was never your fault.

You realise your scars are not something to be ashamed of.

They are part of your story.

Every surgery.
Every hospital visit.
Every moment you had to be brave when you didn’t feel brave at all.

That strength becomes part of who you are.

Living with a cleft isn’t just about the medical side.
It’s about resilience.
It’s about learning confidence in a world that often focuses too much on appearances.

But here’s the truth:

Our smiles are powerful.

They carry stories of survival, courage, and determination.
They show that beauty isn’t about perfection it’s about everything you’ve overcome to stand where you are today.

So if you’re someone living with a cleft, or raising a cleft warrior, remember this:

Your smile is not “different” in a bad way.

Your smile is unique.
Your smile is strong.
And your smile deserves to be seen.

Never hide the very thing that shows how far you’ve come. ✨

04/03/2026

Be kind.
Not because it sounds nice.
But because you never know what someone has already had to survive.

Some of us didn’t grow up worrying about fitting in.
We grew up in hospital rooms.
With surgeries, stitches, swollen faces, and learning how to drink from a syringe because we couldn’t even use a straw.

Some of us learned very young what it feels like to be stared at.
To be asked what’s “wrong” with your face.
To hear the whispers, the comments, the laughter.

And bullying doesn’t just come from children.
Sometimes it comes from grown adults who should know better.

Living with a cleft teaches you strength you never asked for.
But the truth is… we shouldn’t have to be that strong just to exist in the world.

It shouldn’t matter what someone looks like.
It shouldn’t matter where they come from.
It shouldn’t matter what scars they carry.

Everyone deserves kindness.
Everyone deserves respect.
Everyone deserves to feel like they belong.

Because behind every scar is a person who has already fought battles you can’t see.

The strongest people you will ever meet are often the ones who were forced to be strong far too young.

So if there’s one thing I hope people teach their children, it’s this:

Be kind.
Stand up to bullying.
And remember that differences are not something to shame.

Our scars are not something to hide.
They are proof that we survived.

Kindness costs nothing.
But bullying can stay with someone for a lifetime.

Different is not something to bully.
Different is something the world should learn to respect.

And every single person no matter their story, or where they come from deserves to feel they belong in this world. 🤍

02/03/2026

25/02/2026

“You don’t look like you’ve had surgery.”

That’s what people say.

But cleft doesn’t end after surgery.
It grows up with you.

It’s in the mirrors after procedures.
The school photos you worried about.
The questions you didn’t know how to answer.
The stares you learned to ignore.
The strength you never chose but had to build.

And even now, as an adult…
I still check the car mirror before the school run.
I still question myself before new situations.
I still overthink meeting new people.

People tell me my smile is beautiful.
They remind me that I matter.

And I know that’s true…
but knowing it and feeling it aren’t always the same thing.

🧩Cleft fact:
Many people born with a cleft will go through years sometimes decades of surgeries, dental work, speech therapy or medical appointments. I still have surgeries, dental work, pain and sinus problems and infections.

It isn’t one moment. It’s a lifelong journey people rarely see.

When I wrote Parenting a Cleft Warrior, it was also for the younger version of me the child who just wanted to feel normal, accepted, enough.

Because here’s what I’ve learned:

Your scar is not proof of something wrong with you.
It’s proof of everything you’ve survived.

Some days confidence is loud.
Other days it’s simply showing up anyway.

And that counts too.

If you’ve ever felt tired of explaining…
tired of being brave…
or wondered if anyone else still feels this:

You are not alone 🤍

We matter.
We are beautiful.
And no matter our journey, every single one of us belongs.

Everyone deserves acceptance, confidence, and a place where we belong. ❤️

24/02/2026

Adults with a cleft - what was the hardest part growing up that people never saw?

Parents - what’s been the hardest part of the journey for you or your child so far?

There’s no judgement here. Just understanding 🤍

Someone reading the comments today might feel less alone because of you.

And if there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to ask, talk about, or get support with this is a safe space. 💛

21/02/2026

Being sick when you’ve been born with a cleft isn’t just feeling unwell… it physically hurts your face.

💛 I’ve been a bit quiet this week…

Truthfully, I haven’t been very well.

And something I don’t think people realise is how much being physically sick affects those of us born with a cleft.

When you’re vomiting…
when your sinuses flare…
when your face feels full of pressure…

it’s not just illness.

It feels like your whole face is hurting from the inside out.

Old surgery sites ache.
Scar tissue feels tight.
Your nose burns.
Your lip throbs.

Things most people recover from in a few days can feel exhausting and overwhelming for us.

💙 Cleft Fact:
Many adults born with cleft lip and palate continue to experience sinus problems and facial sensitivity throughout life due to structural differences, even long after surgery.

And here’s the part people don’t see…

Being unwell can quietly take you back.
Back to hospitals.
Back to recovery rooms.
Back to being the child who just had to be brave again.

Writing my books especially Parenting A Cleft Warrior, came from living these moments.
From knowing that cleft doesn’t end after surgery.
From wanting children and adults to feel seen in the parts people rarely talk about.

Some weeks aren’t about being strong or inspiring.
Some weeks are just about getting through.

If you’ve gone quiet lately…
cancelled plans…
or struggled more than people understand because of your cleft or surgeries

I see you. I really do 🤍

People see recovery. We live the lifelong reality.

19/02/2026

💙 Cleft Fact

Even after repair surgery, some people born with a cleft palate can spend years in speech therapy learning sounds others develop naturally.

Not because we aren’t trying.
Not because we aren’t capable.
But because anatomy makes certain sounds harder to produce.

Imagine thinking carefully about words most people say without effort.

Imagine being interrupted… corrected… or laughed at
just for speaking.

✨ From my book The Smile That Changed the World:

“You speak with your heart, your soul, and your grin,
And let others feel safe when they’re hurting within.”

Some of us learned bravery every time we opened our mouths.

And that strength?
It never leaves you.

🤍

16/02/2026

Curiosity isn’t always harmless.

No one talks about how exhausting it is explaining your face.

No one talks about how tiring it is
answering the same questions
for decades.

Not once.
Not twice.
But hundreds of times.

“What happened to you?”
“Were you in an accident?”
“Why do you look like that?”
“Can you even speak properly?”

And then there are the stares.

The double takes.
The whispering.
The look up… look away… look back again.

People don’t always mean harm.
But ignorance still lands heavy.

What feels like curiosity to them
can feel like exposure to me.

Every explanation pulls something up.

The surgeries.
The comments at school.
The years of braces.
The jaw surgery that went wrong.
The confidence I had to rebuild piece by piece.

Some days I educate.
Some days I advocate.
Some days I give the calm, informative answer.

Other days… I’m just tired.

Tired of being someone’s “what happened?”
Tired of being brave for simply existing.
Tired of pretending the stares don’t register.

And now I’m a mum.

I’m not just protecting my own peace anymore.
I’m modelling to my children that you do not owe the world access to your trauma.

Having a cleft doesn’t make me public property.
My scar isn’t an invitation.
My story isn’t required.

If I answer it’s because I choose to.
Not because I have to.

If you’ve ever felt drained from explaining your difference…
or shrinking under someone’s stare…

You are not overreacting.
You are not too sensitive.
You are human.

🤍

13/02/2026

🤍Your smile was never a flaw. It was always your power.

A person’s smile doesn’t define a person’s strength, intelligence, or future.

The heart of it:
There is something incredibly powerful about growing up different and choosing to stand tall anyway.

About learning confidence in rooms whene we feel unsure.

About smiling not because it’s easy but because we’ve earned it.

Every appointment.
Every comment.
Every moment we had to be braver than we felt…
It built resilience most people will never understand.

Different doesn’t mean less.
It means depth. It means story. It means strength.

And our smile?
It’s still magic. ✨