30/03/2026
🪞✨️Helping to Make the dreaded Mirror Work easy-peasy!
'Mirror Work' is a therapeutic, self-help technique made famous by the wonderful, international best selling author, founder of Hay House Publishing and teacher, Louise Hay.
She studied under some of the great Science of Mind teachers after accidently attending a meeting (is there any such thing as an 'accident'?) she wasn't going to attend. This led to her publishing her own pamphlet, 'The Little Blue Book' which later became a worldwide bestseller.
Louise Hay credited Mirror Work with being one of the best ways to cultivate a deep sense of self-approval and self-acceptance. She believed that although most of our hang ups and self-limiting beliefs come from our own repetition of the critical voices of parents, teachers and carers, we are ultimately able to change them through befriending our self, and offering ourselves kindness, understanding and acceptance. In order to do this successfully, she taught her clients and attendees at her work-shops, to work with a pocket mirror and their own reflection.
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Mirror Work Tips:🪞
♥️Think 'Self Like' not 'Self Love'.
It can be difficult for us to think of loving ourselves as most of us grew up associating self love with 'self centredness' and narcissism. Mirror Work is NOT the act of a self agrandising narcissist. It is the healing journey of a wounded inner child, who wishes to befriend themselves.
♥️ Start small.
I have found that a good way to start is to be spontaneous. If you catch your own reflection in a kettle, window or other reflective surface, smile at yourself, meet your own gaze or give yourself a sassy little wink! Inject a little fun. I recently heard of a woman who, upon seeing her reflection says in her head 'M'lady' 😁.
♥️ Begin with the little things.
Pick a feature you like, your eyes, your hair, your lips...whatever it is, pay yourself a compliment. 'Great eyes'. 'Beautiful hair'. 'Gorgeous lips!'
We are not looking to compliment material things such as make up, clothes, jewelery etc. Your focus should be YOU!
♥️ Start where you are.
The object of Mirror Work is the OPPOSITE of the usual trope; 'I'll wait until I'm better/thinner/richer/more successful/feel good.......blah, blah, blah.'
You need to accept and approve of yourself RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. NO EXCEPTIONS. Otherwise, we are still relying on external, far off factors to be ready ie 'worthy' enough of our own approval. Not necessary.
♥️ Start Pocket Sized.
You can begin, as Louise Hay did, with a pocket mirror (in fact, she often gifted friends and clients pocket mirrors inscribed with the words 'I Love You' as reminders to love themselves). For some people, using a full length mirror may, at first, seem overwhelming, difficult and distracting.
♥️L👀k into My Eyes
Making eye contact with yourself is at the centre of this practice. It might be that you just practice that at first. For 10 seconds. Then, gradually and always, with KINDNESS, extend that time. REMEMBER: the critical inner voice will undoubtedly rear it's ever-so-ugly head when you begin. That is the voice that has been learned and ingrained. You do not need to ignore it, push it away nor take it seriously. Acknowledge it, name it, and then go back to your exercise. This time is not to be spent pulling yourself apart, inflicting more pain, disgust or criticism on yourself.
♥️Got to Feel (some of) it to Heal It
Friendly heads up - at some point, you will feel stupid looking at yourself in a mirror and being nice to you. We all have a great deal of social conditioning that has been layered up like plaque on enamel, over years and years. Mirror Work is NOT a quick fix, it's where the tough & tearful work of healing gets done. If at ANY point you feel that you are having enotional/physical flashbacks, are getting stuck in Flight/Fright/Freeze/Fawn or retraumatising yourself, please STOP ✋️ and work with a qualified therapist to delve deeper in a safe setting.
♥️Forgiveness Works...eventually.
When you are ready, you can add words to your practice. Meeting your gaze, say 'I forgive you.' These 3 words are some of the most powerful and liberating you will ever speak to yourself. Other affirmations that are wonderfully therapeutic are:
'You are safe now.'
'You are amazing.'
'I approve of you.'
'I accept you as you are.'
'You have a good heart.'
(Try out different words. The right ones will usually make you cry at first, that's where 'X' marks the spot, where the treasure is buried.)
♥️Little & Often
You don't need to tackle the biggest issues first or spend hours and hours, staring yourself out.
Much to my families annoyance, I use a glass pen to write my affirmations on mirrors in our house. Every time I pass one, I try to remember to pause, make eye contact and show myself a little kindness or repeat an affirmation.
*PLEASE REMEMBER, the object of Mirror Work isn't to fall in love with your own reflection.
It is to offer yourself some unconditional friendliness, a little more kindness or respect than usual. Whereas you might normally see your reflection and jump straight into 'not good enough' or 'unacceptable' mode and critique your appearance, the object here is to befriend your self. To begin to treat yourself as you would a dear friend or loved one, to give yourself what others were unable to give you. To meet and approve of yourself NOW, in this moment,.
It isn't easy, but it IS possible. Give it a try 🙏
