Cara Phelps Cognitive Hypnotherapy

08/09/2025

What if that constant urge to fix everything isn't coming from love...
..but from a younger you, still trying to feel safe?

Are you trying to be strong for your child?

Are you trying to stay calm when inside you’re falling apart?

It makes sense.

When they struggle, you blame yourself.
When they hurt, you rush to rescue.

Because somewhere along the way, love got tangled up with over-functioning.

You learnt to measure your worth in effort.
To seek safety by staying in control.

But what if real safety comes from something softer?
Something slower?
Something that doesn’t require you to earn your rest?

Here’s where it starts to shift:

1️⃣ Let the memory speak.
Who first taught you that love had conditions?
Trace it, not to blame, but to understand what your nervous system now believes is ‘normal’.

2️⃣ Ask your body this:
“If I stop fixing… what do I think will happen?”
Let the answer come. That’s where healing lives.

3️⃣ Practise not fixing.
Choose one thing today to sit with instead of solve.
That urge to rush? It's not failure. It's a wound asking to be acknowledged.

4️⃣ Say it out loud:
“I am worthy, even in stillness. Even when nothing is resolved.”

Repeat… until your body begins to believe it.

Because love isn't about doing nonstop.

And being a good mum doesn’t mean carrying it all. It means healing so you don’t have to.

DM me to book a 1:1 call so you can finally rest from fixing, and start living from wholeness. No conditions required.

29/08/2025

How long have you been measuring your growth by how much you do, rather than how much you don’t?

How many times have you told yourself:
🔁 “I should’ve handled that better…”
🔁 “Maybe I’m just not calm enough/kind enough/selfless enough…”

But here’s the quiet truth:
Sometimes, healing looks like not reacting.
Not apologising.
Not rescuing.
Just breathing and letting the discomfort pass through.

Save this if you need a reminder that stillness can be progress.

The mistake most mums make?
Believing that peace means always managing the moment.
But real peace comes from not repeating the storm inside.

Here’s what that actually looks like:

🧠 The pause is the pattern-break.
When your child gets upset and you don’t instantly fix it…
That’s emotional rewiring.
It teaches their nervous system the world doesn’t fall apart when someone says “no”.

💬 Silence isn’t failure. It’s restraint with purpose.
You don’t need to explain every boundary.
You don’t need to say “sorry” for your tone when your body’s barely holding on.
You’re allowed to honour your own safety too.

🪨 Doing less isn’t a weakness, it’s leadership.
When you stop over-functioning, you create space for growth, not just in you, but in your child.
Progress doesn’t always look like action.
Sometimes it’s the moment you let things be unsettling, without rushing in to fix.

Want to feel more in control without living in overdrive?

DM me to book a 1:1 call so you can parent from calm, not from conditioning.

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25/08/2025

Social anxiety can have a huge impact on your life, leaving you feeling very alone and isolated.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

There’s always something you can do.

And if you need help, I’m here ❤️

25/08/2025

Social anxiety can have a huge impact on your life, leaving you feeling very alone and isolated.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

There’s always something you can do.

And if you need help, I’m here ❤️

20/08/2025

Ever wonder why it’s so hard to say “no,” even when your whole body is screaming yes to rest?

Here’s what’s really going on and the quiet ways we keep ourselves stuck:

🚫 Mistake #1: People-pleasing disguised as being there for everyone. It looks selfless, but it quietly burns you out.
🚫 Mistake #2: Overriding your discomfort. It feels like sacrifice but it’s often self-abandonment dressed up as love.
🚫 Mistake #3: Saying yes from fear, not alignment. It costs more energy and more resentment than you think.

Burnout rarely starts with doing too much.

It often begins the first time you ignore the whisper that says, “please, not this time.”

Because if it’s never safe to have a boundary your nervous system never really rests.

Here’s what actually helps:

✨ Pause before you commit.
Put a hand on your heart. Ask: “Is this coming from love or fear?”
Fear of letting someone down? Of being judged? That’s not alignment, it’s history repeating.

✨ Reframe guilt as recovery.
The shame you feel after saying no isn’t failure, it’s your nervous system detoxing from years of over-functioning.

✨ Speak from the body, not the blame.
Swap “Sorry, I can’t” for “Right now, I need to protect my energy.”
It’s not an explanation. It’s a declaration of self-trust.

People have used this method to reduce burnout, reconnect with their children, and feel like themselves again even if they’ve spent years running on empty and saying “yes” through gritted teeth.

DM me to book a 1:1 call, so you can finally create nervous system-safe boundaries that protect your peace and model self-respect for your children.

15/08/2025

You’ve been holding it all together for so long, and still…
you wake up feeling overwhelmed before the day has even begun.

So you try harder.
Push through.
Add “just one more” coping strategy.

Maybe if you meditated more.
Or got more organised.
Or stayed calm when your child wasn’t.

But the truth is, no schedule tweak or productivity hack can fix what’s happening beneath the surface.

Because this isn't about how much you're doing.
It’s about how alone and emotionally loaded you feel while doing it.

Save this post if you’re tired of chasing burnout disguised as self-improvement.

The truth is: Overwhelm isn’t a time problem.
It’s a capacity problem.
And that capacity gets drained by unprocessed emotions your nervous system is still carrying.

Here are 3 powerful shifts that don’t require “doing more”, just doing it differently:

☁️ 1. Notice where ‘being on’ feels safer than switching off
If rest feels threatening, like stillness invites collapse, that’s not laziness. It’s unmet trauma.
Today: Pause for 30 seconds when you sit down. Breathe. Notice the urge to fix or move. Just notice.
That’s where your work begins.

🧠 2. Track moments when your body reacts faster than your mind
Jumping at a sigh. Clock watching after bedtime. These aren’t habits, they’re signals.
Start a micro-journal: What were you feeling right before the tension hit?
Awareness is the first release valve.

❤️ 3. Redefine support as safety, not weakness
You may have been praised for “not needing anything.”
But healing begins when you rewrite that rule.
Today, ask for one small thing, even if your voice shakes. Let your nervous system learn: it’s safe to be held.

If you’ve believed getting calm takes changing your whole life...think again.
Peace begins with your body feeling safe enough to stop bracing.

What part of your overwhelm feels heaviest to carry but hardest to put down?

06/08/2025

Have you been carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs for as long as you can remember?

But still feel as if it isn't enough?

Most mums put everyone else first. Everyone else has to be ok before they consider their own needs before they think about their own healing. So they wait...

Wait for more time.
Wait for motivation.
Wait until the next crisis settles.

But the nervous system doesn’t suddenly make space for healing. It happens when you choose safety in the smallest possible ways, even when things still feel messy.

Save this post if you’re tired of waiting for the perfect moment.

The truth? Possibility doesn’t arrive after calm.

It begins when your body feels one breath less guarded than the moment before.

It begins when you disrupt your patterns...intentionally!

Here’s how:

→ You feel frazzled but catch yourself gripping the steering wheel.
🌱 Reframe: “My body is yelling, but I’m still here.”
🌬 Action: Loosen your grip. Let your jaw soften. That’s a signal of internal safety.

→ You hear the voice say: ‘I’m ruining everything.’
🌱 Reframe: “This is a legacy of shame, not truth.”
🖋 Action: Write down one thing you did today that your childhood self would’ve prayed for.

→ You nearly cancel the walk, the bath, the call.
🌱 Reframe: “Guilt isn’t a stop sign, it’s an echo.”
👣 Action: Do it anyway. Let your nervous system feel what permission tastes like.

→ You feel your child spiralling, and your pulse jumps.
🌱 Reframe: “I don’t have to solve this. I have to stay with it.”
💭 Action: Whisper to yourself: “Safety begins with how I stay.”

Struggling to stop parenting from survival mode?

DM me and I’ll send you the link to my 3-step programme to help you:
1. Choose the future you want
2. Create calm in your daily patterns
3. Change how your past lives in your present

So you can respond with clarity, not chaos and feel more like you again.

04/08/2025

Would you like to be free from anxiety or depression?

Would you like to change any of your habits?

Would you like to heal from trauma?

Do you have a phobia that you'd love to overcome?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, I could help you!

Cognitive Hypnotherapy is a fast and effective, personalised treatment for a range of issues.

Book your FREE call and discover how quick and easy it is to make the changes that would improve your life.

📧 change@caraphelps.co.uk
📱07864 049875

Sessions can be online or in person at Spire Hill Well-Being, Stalbridge.

31/07/2025

Are you ready to stop feeling miserable?

Are you ready to stop feeling scared?

Are you ready to stop feeling stressed?

It’s so much easier and quicker than you think!

Get in touch to book your FREE consultation and stop suffering!

📧 change@caraphelps.co.uk

📱07864 049875

Sessions can be online or in person at Spire Hill Well-Being, Stalbridge or Westcountry Practice, Shaftesbury (if under 25)

25/07/2025

If you’re waiting for everything to calm down before returning to yourself... I have bad news for you.

💥 That moment may never come.

Not while your only metric for being a “good mum” is how much of yourself you sacrifice.

The ones finding calm again? They’re not waiting.
They’re healing now.
By learning how not to disappear in their role.

You don’t need to abandon yourself to be a good mum.
In fact, the more you vanish, the more both of you suffer.

Here are 3 ways to stop the spiral, with compassion, not guilt:

🪨 1. Name the guilt script running the show
If your mind whispers, “They need me more than I need rest,” pause.
Ask yourself: “Who taught me that love means self-erasure?”
That’s a wound, not wisdom.
And it’s one your child doesn’t need to inherit.

🌱 2. Micro-claim your identity
You don’t need hours. You need moments.
5 minutes to revisit a part of yourself - songs you loved, clothes that felt like you, ideas you ditched but never stopped wanting.
Start with this: What part of me have I silenced to feel safe?

🧠 3. Rewire your internal equation
Self-focus ≠ selfish.
Try this reframe:
“When I honour my needs, I show my child how to honour theirs.”
New neuro-pathways form through repetition, not just logic.
Speak it, live it, feel the shift.

What if I told you you could feel like yourself again without waiting for your child to be okay first?

Comment JOIN to get the link to my private group so you can start reclaiming your identity—without guilt, fear, or abandoning the people you love most.

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19/01/2025

I've created a FREE guide to help stressed mums, who have a child struggling with their mental health, feel more in control. Click the link to get your copy

Download Your Free Thrive Together by Cara Phelps Today!