01/03/2026
The Coach Who Secretly Wanted to Die: Paul Pook's Incredible Fight for Survival ššŖ
When Ireland clinched the Grand Slam in 2009, Paul Pook should have been on top of the world. As their fitness coach, the former and player was the only Welshman celebrating in Cardiff that day. But behind the scenes, he was fighting a terrifying battle.
While the team partied in Dublin the next day, Pook was hiding in his hotel room. For over 20 years, his life has been overshadowed by depression and suicidal thoughts, a struggle he describes with raw honesty as being a functioning suicidalist for much of that time.
Pookās glittering career saw him help athletes win Olympic and Paralympic golds, and he even received a congratulatory letter from Vladimir Putin. Yet, during flights to major events, he found himself wishing the plane would crash just to end his pain. His mask of success hid a dark reality that eventually forced him out of high-performance sport and onto benefits.
Now, Pook has discovered the root of his torment: brain damage from repeated concussions during his playing days. Brain scans revealed a haemorrhage that disrupted his emotional circuitry, explaining why 14 different medications failed to cure him.
Refusing to let the darkness win, Pook has launched Tackle Su***de CIC, a global initiative supporting contact sport athletes. Throughout the Six Nations, heās raising awareness by completing solidarity tackles for every point scored in the tournamentāmirroring the tragic statistic that 125 people die by su***de in the UK every week.
Today, Pook says he has never felt better. His journey from stacking shelves and living on benefits to finding peace is a powerful reminder: no matter how dark it gets, there is always hope.
If you or someone you know is struggling, reaching out and asking 'are you considering taking your own life?' could be the first step to saving them.
***dePrevention ***de