The Heart of Listening

Our Story

My journey with Hand in Hand Parenting began when my son was around ten months old. Although I adored my child and loved being a Mum, I found it difficult to listen to his tears. If I couldn’t pacify him, I would feel frustrated, uncomfortable and sometimes cross. One day when my son and I were being supported by a wise and loving teacher, he began to cry for no apparent reason (a full tummy, in good health and a clean nappy, check). I was gently encouraged to hold him in my arms and listen to his tears fully for the first time. To say that was hard is an understatement, but after a while I found my heart opening wide and instead of my own discomfort, I could clearly hear and feel what was being expressed through those tears. At that moment, my own tears began to flow as well, the bond between us deepened so beautifully. Something in me had cracked open and I was able from that moment to feel comfortable and even delight in listening to his strong emotions in the full knowledge that a healing process was happening. I am so grateful to that wise teacher because it’s meant that in being able to listen in this way (as well as using the other tools of Parenting by Connection), my son and I have enjoyed a wonderfully close relationship and he has grown up resilient and happy. My capacity to support him and others (myself included) to express the big emotions we all feel has been made possible. I live with my partner and our now 15 year old son and on the edge of the beautiful Ashdown Forest in East Sussex. Following a period of home education with my son I then worked in a large secondary school supporting children with special educational needs and running emotional wellbeing groups for children struggling with many different challenges. Alongside my Hand in Hand Parenting work I now also work for a charity providing one to one mentoring for young people in Surrey. It’s an enormous privilege to be able to make a difference in the lives of the next generation. I am always impressed by their intelligence and willingness to grow. I’m passionate about bringing more of the work of Parenting by Connection into educational settings, especially supporting teachers with the very challenging and demanding job they do. I see the potential of Listening Partnerships in particular to bring positive change. To me this is bringing politics to the personal, with the potential to bring about huge social benefit with compassionate connection. People say to new parents “they don’t come with a manual” but to me the Parenting by Connection approach IS that manual. Because through using these tools parents can access their own wisdom and assist their children in finding and expressing theirs too in a compassionate, efficient and respectful way. I love that we are literally helping to shape the future through love in action, one family at a time. I have a Certificate in Counselling Skills, experience in Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy and in Art Psychotherapy. I love to paint, especially mandalas and also teach art to children. Any spare time goes into tending my garden, walking in nature, and hanging out with friends. I run groups online and in person in the Sussex area and in London. I also work with individuals online and in person. I can be contacted by email: sarah.charlton@yahoo.co.uk