Dominic Boyd

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Dominic Boyd

Overcome Self Sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Overcome depression, overwhelm, and anxiety. I help people change their life. YOU WON'T STOP THIS TIME. Bravery.

Overcome Self Sabotaging thoughts and behaviours. Overcome depression, overwhelm, and anxiety.
 Get a handle on their health, master their emotions, become a leader of their life...

Together we'll turn sabotage into success. People who want to raise their game, but keep failing. I get people the results they've never had and desperately want. Clients say I am the strength they need to believe in themselves. I’m the ear that listens, the shoulder to lean on, the hand to guide them. The rational brain to their emotional brain. The strength and support for them to become confident in taking action to find themselves again. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE AND ILL PROVE IT. Small changes in behaviour make massive changes to the results in your life. The only problem is you stop before you get there. I WON'T LET YOU. You’ll Go from sabotaging thoughts and behaviours to successful thoughts and actions. You’ll become a Leader of your life

Trust me - I've been there. I've climbed out of the $h!t hole, more than once.

►Increase self-belief, self-confidence, and self-worth, stop procrastinating & realise your potential & ambitions. Reduce/remove stress, tiredness and frustration, mood swings, anxiety and feelings like things could fall apart at any moment.

►Learn how to have fun without feeling guilt, shame or fear. Become fitter, and healthier and transform your relationship with food, booze, and anything.

►Overhaul motivation, discipline, and commitment & raise your game

►Achieve things you thought impossible, focus on yourself, raise your game, becoming the best version of yourself - every day.

►Sabotage To Success will help you realise exactly who you are. Master your emotional control. Become a Leader Of (your) Life

Determination. Persistence.

14/03/2023

STOP TRYING TO DO BETTER

People are always trying to do better.

I was always trying to do better.

"Must do better" "Got to get better at..."

You probably say similar things.

The problem is you don't know what better looks like.

You have no measure of what exactly "Better" looks like.

And worse

when you can't stick to whatever it is you need to do to achieve the invisible better

You fall off the wagon. Fall off track.

And as I've said in the past, people fall off the wagon and get back on the same wagon hoping for a different result

its the definition of insanity - doing the same thing, applying the same strategy, using the same approach/method, getting back on the same wagon

and expecting a different result - IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

Anyway, that's not the point... Well, it kinda is!

The point is instead of trying to do better,

or asking yourself what can I do better, or how can I do better

ASK YOURSELF A BETTER QUESTION

What can I do differently

See when you ask a different question, you'll get a different answer.

when you apply a different strategy, a different method, a different approach

the likelihood is you'll do better AND get a better outcome.

You may still not get the perfect outcome but the more times you try something,

and instead of trying to do it better,

you ask... WHAT CAN I DO DIFFERENTLY

The closer you'll get to the outcome you want

Without beating yourself up mentally, killing your confidence further, creating more self-doubt, and Isolating yourself further.

10/03/2023

THE MYTH OF SELF-SABOTAGE THOUGHTS & BEHAVIOURS

On Wednesday I was a guest speaker, I delivered a coaching session to a company in the North East. I absolutely loved it.

The feedback was amazing - to quote the owner...

"the best guest training we've had"

The title of the talk was

THE MYTH OF SELF-SABOTAGE: Why I am not enough. Why am I not good enough

Essentially why we don't feel enough sometimes. Why do we question our worth?

I'm not going to go through it all but I wanted to share this small summary today - that I hope will inspire you

The Feeling:
I am not enough / I’m not good enough / I’m not worthy

The Truth:
You are enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. And you are good enough

The reason for the feelings:
You have a lack of emotional connection with yourself. The reason for that is that you didn't learn how to connect emotionally with significant others when you were younger.

You couldn't connect internally (emotionally) with others and so you learned to bury your emotions and suppress them.

You were not taught how to connect emotionally (internally) with yourself. How to express your feelings, how to feel, how to be. As a result, you learned to "get on with it".

"Getting on with it" helped no one EVER. Because you couldn't connect emotionally with others you found external ways to connect.

You learned to connect externally - through sport, hobbies, interests, food, TV, money, work, etc

You chased a connection with those significant others and as result, you lost yourself.

The problem deepens when the external connection you had didn't fully meet your needs either. As so... When you realize which external factors help you get excited, soothe your pain, or comfort you, the void created due to lack of connection in your life is filled with behaviors that sabotage your life. You lose yourself further and further.

How to fix it:
Reset the relationship you have with the external factors. People - family, friends, intermit relationships, money, alcohol, exercise, work, gambling, p**n - the list is endless.

Reset & Reconnect emotionally with yourself. Face your fears and insecurities, meet them head-on to take back your power.

Do this...

YOU WILL RAISE YOUR SELF-LOVE, SELF-ESTEEM, AND SELF-WORTH.
As well as confidence, energy, motivation, excitement - the list goes on.

Simple. Not easy!
End your self-sabotage. Become a leader of your life.
..Want to CHANGE YOUR FUTURE?
Drop me a REPLY with "INFO" and I'll share how my 1:1 coaching works - what it entails, and what’s involved.

09/03/2023

YOU NEED TO BE ILL & TIRED TO BE HAPPIER. NEED!!!!

The subject of this one goes against what everyone tells you... I know. But it's the truth.

Yes you need to be rested and healthy but you need to be Ill and tired as well.

If you've seen my previous messages this week you'll know that since Sunday I've been unwell.

Last week I was flying high, after Ted-X on Saturday I was inspired more than ever

However... by Monday night a seed of SELF-DOUBT had grown into what felt like an oak tree of self-doubt

MY INSECURITIES WERE HEIGHTENED

I tell you this for a reason - I'M BEING REAL. My life is rich with love and experiences, but I still have my moments.

Thankfully I also have an extensive toolbox to help me through the tough tests - FAST.

You may experience HEIGHTENED INSECURITIES & SELF-DOUBT when you're ill,

people feel it most when they're tired. WHICH IS NEARLY ALL THE TIME

When you're tired or sick it's like a HUMUNGOUS magnifying glass looms over you

zooms in on any self-doubt you have and MAGNIFY all of your insecurities.

Many people crumble at this point... they feed their insecurities creating fear.

They fall off the wagon, isolate, withdraw, sapped of all energy and confidence.

They believe what they are saying to themselves... And they should, you should, I should

BECAUSE ITS THE TRUTH.

and you need to face the truth to find happiness.

Do not bury your head in the sand, pretending it doesn't exist.

"KEEPING BUSY" so you can't "OVERTHINK"

do that and YOU'RE IN FOR A SHOCK. BIG TIME!

Ignored insecurities show up with a force so strong you'll struggle to get back up.

Buried always emotions show up eventually - anger, frustration, overwhelm, anxiety. Then there's the physical illness.

Not only do you need that magnifying glass to HIGHLIGHT your insecurities.

YOU NEED TO WRITE THEM DOWN

They are the answers to your future FREEDOM.

They are where you need to focus your attention and energy to create THE LIFE YOU WANT

If you choose to ignore the signs and signals, if you choose to bury what you feel - your emotions

YOU ARE CHOOSING A FUTURE THAT LOOKS LIKE YOUR PAST

It's hard to face the truth. It's comforting to take the easy option.
But EASY creates future FRUSTRATION.

HARD creates future HAPPINESS.

You need to face them and write about them. Get a strategy to overcome them.

Simple. Not easy!
End your self-sabotage. Become a leader of your life.
..Want to CHANGE YOUR FUTURE?
Drop me a REPLY with "INFO" if you'd like to explore how my 1:1 coaching works - what it entails, what’s involved, and if it's the right solution for you.

06/03/2023

Do what you need. NOT what you feel.

I'm feeling pretty ill today. I'm lying here, sweating and shivering at the same time. It's a bizarre feeling.

but that's not the point of the message.

The point of this message is that although I'm struggling today,

I'M INSPIRED TODAY.

I'm not energized. I'm not energized AT ALL. Far from it.

I have zero energy to write this message.

BUT I HAVE A TON OF MOTIVATION TO WRITE IT

because motivation comes from inspiration.

When you're inspired you're motivated.

When you're motivated

YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
NOT WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING

If I did what I feel like doing I'd not move very far most days, let alone the days like today when I feel horrendous

See if you wait to do something until you feel like it you'll never get anywhere fast.

ENERGY COMES AND GOES...

The people who achieve their goals are usually different

THEY ARE INSPIRED

Rarely do I have a ton of energy to go for a run at 5.30am
But I'm always inspired

Inspired to be the best version of me
Inspired to NOT GO BACK TO THAT DARK PLACE
Inspired to lead from the front
Inspired to show my son how to live
Inspired to show others what's possible
Inspired to live a long and healthy life

It is this that keeps me going. It is this that makes me do things

LIKE WRITING THIS SHORT POST

When I have no energy.

The question I ask you...

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

If you're struggling for inspiration and waiting until you've got the energy

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THE LIFE YOU WANT

anytime soon.

Do what you NEED not what you FEEL

Simple. Not easy!
End your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Be a leader of your life.
..Comment or Message me INFO and ill send you some information on how our 1:1 coaching works.
..How we will transform your energy, motivation, and INSPIRATION within a week so that you start to get the life you want

02/03/2023

Alone. No One Understands me.

Do you ever feel like everyone else got the memo on how to live life, and you didn't?

"They have it all sorted" .... "why haven't I?"

Do you wonder “When will it be my turn? When will I get it right? What am I doing wrong?”

The more you think about it, the more you fear the worst.

Here is what I want to say to you…

Be kind to yourself, because the reality is most of us were not taught how to LIVE life AUTHENTICALLY.

We're expected to learn on the job. For ourselves.

You probably don't know how to fully express yourself, or how to be open about your feeling.

I get you. I never knew how to express myself when before I started this journey.

People would ask me questions and I just wouldn't be able to communicate how I felt, what was going on inside me, or what I wanted differently.

If I tried... NO ONE UNDERSTOOD

NO ONE GOT WHAT I WAS SAYING.

They just didn't get it.

And as a result, you don't express yourself anymore. You just keep it to yourself. It's easier.

Well, actually it's harder but it seems easier.

Here are 5 tips to change your luck right now.

1. Choose your language CAREFULLY

Your language is your energy. We are creating our own vibrations around self-love when we speak negatively.

Get rid of phrases like I'm unlucky, I'm stupid, I'm a failure, etc - luck means it's in someone else's hands.

Your future is in your hands.

2. Get to Know Yourself

You have to know yourself first so you can accurately represent yourself and communicate your wants, needs, and desires confidently

Let me ask you: do you want to be compliant or do you want to build true compatibility in your relationships?

YOUR FUTURE can only come from KNOWING who you actually are, from the things you actually like, and from what your preferences and desires are.

If you don't know yourself or what you want you'll end up STUCK (and that’s a breeding ground for bitterness and disappointment).

3. Is Your Perfectionism Getting in the Way?

I really want you to take a closer look at if you have perfectionist tendencies.

You’ve got to see the difference between striving for excellence (a higher standard of living) and perfectionism.

Perfectionism is like a prison keeping your life small…because you don't know what perfection looks like you can never achieve it.

If you're going to get the life you want - FREEDOM. HAPPY. CALM. without anxiety, stress, overwhelm

You've got to learn to love yourself NOW and strive for excellence in the future. That's ACHIEVABLE.

4. Be Vulnerable

There's no one else in the world who are you. It's hard to BE YOU overnight. I know it took me years and years. 10 actually.

Because I LIVED I FEAR. I wasn't prepared to be vulnerable, to express myself, to share my story, what my life actually looked like, or and go with what I believed.

I'm not saying you instantly tell someone your entire life story, but I do mean START EMBRACING your story and sharing yourself, STOP REJECTING YOUR JOURNEY (through shame, guilt, or fear)

But start embracing and sharing small parts of who you really are and over time you'll see SELF-LOVE develop in a real way.

5. Be Afraid. DO IT ANYWAY.

$h!t$ is scary. Being vulnerable is terrifying. But anything worth having is worth doing or working for.

Don’t kid yourself into believing you need to be perfect before you START. That’s just letting your fears WIN.

Don't wait for CONFIDENCE to turn up and then start.
It will never turn up, you'll be waiting all your life.

CONFIDENCE COMES AFTER YOU START

Self-love, self-worth, and esteem come with confidence.

REMEMBER you are amazing, worthy, and stronger than you think.

End your self-sabotage. Become a leader of your life.
Simple. Not easy!
..MESSAGE me "INFO" and I’ll send you some info explaining how my 1:1 coaching works and what’s involved.

01/03/2023

𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 = 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 = 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

The reason you can't connect emotionally is that you can't disconnect emotionally.

Every day after 6pm my phone goes away. Off. Out of sight.

Every weekend my phone isn't within my reach, it's away.

Yes, I check it periodically, in case of emergency, more so on Saturdays.

On Sundays, it doesn't come out. Never mind going away. No not for religious reasons...

I WANT TO BE EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE AND CONNECTED TO MY WIFE AND SON

Not thinking about work, checking emails, checking social media, checking bets, checking scores, checking messages.

PRESENT. EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE AND CONNECTED

Be it evenings or weekends, my phone goes "AWAY" or doesn't even come out because I want to ensure I'm connected to what matters most...

The moment!!! Myself. My wife. My son. The activity we're doing as a family.

Many find this hard to believe, and many find it hard to do. I used to think the same. So I appreciate how crazy it may seem.

The reason I used to think it impossible to not look at my phone, to put it away, out of sight, not to be looked at nor touched

is that I was so disconnected from those who mattered most to me, so disconnected from those I looked up to,

and in the process, I became so disconnected from myself.
..I WAS LOST. I DIDN'T KNOW MYSELF.

Due to the pain of the past, anger, and frustration, I had low confidence, low mood, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.

To override it all I became so busy being busy, to stay out of my head, that I'd lost sight of who I was

WHO I WANTED TO BE. WHAT MATTERED TO ME.

And if I wasn't busy doing something, I'd be busy on my phone.

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS CONNECTION

but what I got was DISCONNECTION.

I grew up NOT KNOWING MYSELF.

Disconnected from myself and the world I lived in.

Later... I became connected with what I perceived would change how I felt about myself, and my life.

I'd connect with booze, bars, and parties.

I'd connect with work, starting early and finishing late, seeking the connection, validation, and acceptance I craved. Which I couldn't/wouldn't get off anyone else - because I wasn't connected to them.

I'd connect with people socially through my phone, scrolling, and seeing people doing things that made me compare, become jealous, and frustrated.

I'd connect to the world posting for like, loves, and comments.

ALL I WANTED WAS CONNECTION AND WHAT I GOT WAS FURTHER DISCONNECTION.

And now I understand why.

If I was going to get a connection with those who mattered most, I must RECONNECT myself first. And understand truly what I want.

If I'm going to get validation from those who matter most, I must be able to validate myself first.

Once I emotionally connect with myself I was able to hear what I was needing. When I understand what I need I can seek it.

WHEN I SEEK WHAT I NEED I FIND LOVE & HAPPINESS - within me.

Now I can emotionally connect and validate myself, I'm able to disconnect everything else, including my phone, and be completely present.

I'm able to emotionally connect with those that now need me. My son. My wife. My clients. My team.

I'm able to hear what they need. I'm able to respond accordingly and in return

THEY LEARN HOW TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT AND VALIDATE THEMSELVES.

Breaking the cycles of self-sabotage.

Simple. Not easy!
End your self-sabotage. Become a leader of your life.
..COMMENT OR MESSAGE me "INFO" and I’ll send you some info explaining how my 1:1 coaching works and what’s involved.

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/eliminatesabotagingbehaviours

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