18/09/2025
It is that time again... Little progress selfie 😂 I feel like im in some kind of '80s home furnishings catalogue in this one 🤣 why am I so awkward?! 😅
So, while I am so, so proud of where I am right now physically (long road still, bla bla bla) mentally, I am not. When my daughter left to live with her father, my abuser and master manipulator, my world, as it existed, dissolved. I didn't just lose her as she was, but everything that she will become 😢 it brought back pain and anger that I thought I was healing from. Trauma is not new to me, and I have experienced grief from death, but grief from someone still living is something I haven't had to navigate before.
However, this isn't all doom and gloom 😂 I am a firm believer that something good can come out of everything. I sat there one evening and decided exactly that. Rather than allow the darkness to take over, I thought about what good could come of this. I have been miserable about my appearance for a long time now, so that is what I chose to focus on, so when I am overcome with emotions, I am also overcome with pride and joy about how good I feel along the way and I have very much learnt, the two emotions can run alongside each other.
I am coming out of a real dark period and feeling more focused again. I stayed steady with my weight loss, but I really want to hit that next stone bracket... although, maybe after birthday cake for my sons 13th Birthday 😉
