Sheila Coles Counselling

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Sheila Coles Counselling Hello
I'm an Integrative Psychotherapist & EMDR Therapist working with individual adults & couples.

Therapy is a process of integration…Humans are deeply complex. Our experience of life and our world is determined by a d...
05/08/2023

Therapy is a process of integration…

Humans are deeply complex. Our experience of life and our world is determined by a dynamic mix of our biology; past and present relationships with others and ourselves; and the contexts in which we find ourselves living.



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Listen to this episode from Conversation With Alanis Morissette on Spotify. In this podcast, Alanis talks with Dr. Dan Siegel about mindfulness, parenting, relationships, neurobiology, and more. Below are the references discussed in this podcast: The Developing Mind The Mindful Brain The Mindful The...

Therapy allows us to learn to understand our experiences so we can build new ways of relating to ourselves and others th...
05/08/2023

Therapy allows us to learn to understand our experiences so we can build new ways of relating to ourselves and others that strengthen an internal sense of safety, well-being and agency.



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Can your relationship survive infidelity? How you choose to proceed may depend on the nature of the infidelity and how you and your partner feel after the truth has come to light. Talking things through with a therapist can help you and your partner work out your next steps.

Read more about dealing with infidelity here:

https://tavistockrelationships.org/blogs-and-resources/infidelity-and-relationships

Trauma changes the brain. It primes survivors to perceive threats everywhere and respond as if they are in constant dang...
03/08/2023

Trauma changes the brain. It primes survivors to perceive threats everywhere and respond as if they are in constant danger. If you feel frightened or unsafe, your brain will specialise in feelings of fear. If you feel safe and loved, your brain becomes specialised in exploration, play, and cooperation. The good news is the brain is plastic, meaning it can form new connections and change. EMDR therapy facilitates this process.



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Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a common, but not well-understood, approach to treating trauma-related conditions and disturbing life experiences.

Exploring how negative, rigid interaction patterns and absorbing negative affect typify distress in couple relationships...
01/08/2023

Exploring how negative, rigid interaction patterns and absorbing negative affect typify distress in couple relationships where we experience emotional disconnection and insecure attachment.

Therapy helps us experience our unique complexity: facilitating new forms of relating to ourselves and others.



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In this podcast, Alanis talks with Dr. Sue Johnson about bonding, attachment, and adult romantic relationships. Below are the references discussed in this po...

Trauma therapy helps us to develop an internal sense of safety, integrate mind and body & feel calm and focused. We find...
16/10/2022

Trauma therapy helps us to develop an internal sense of safety, integrate mind and body & feel calm and focused. We find ways to be fully alive in the present and engaged with the people around us. We develop deep self awareness and acceptance: knowing that we have experienced overwhelming distress and can be safe in the here and now.
Yoga practice complements trauma focussed talking therapy.



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Your body has a way of holding onto trauma. Here are 5 yoga poses for trauma that can help you release it, according to yoga instructors.

‘Your ability to identify, respond to, and fulfill the needs of others around you is an extremely valuable skill. But th...
14/10/2022

‘Your ability to identify, respond to, and fulfill the needs of others around you is an extremely valuable skill. But this skill goes to waste if you neglect yourself in the process. Becoming aware of your own needs is possible, and with that comes a new, balanced awareness of your responsibilities.‘

Therapy can help you develop new ways of relating to yourself and others.



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Being responsible is a good thing, but being overly responsible is a burden.

Humans are not simple. We each come with hardwired temperaments and a variety of motivational systems which out survival...
14/10/2022

Humans are not simple. We each come with hardwired temperaments and a variety of motivational systems which out survival and attachment systems can easily override. Few of us remain consistently in one attachment style across a range of situations.

When we cannot bear remaining present with the full experience of self and other simultaneously, connection is impossible and trauma will persist.

Therapy helps us understand our unique complexity and experience new forms of relating to ourselves and others.



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The experience of trauma often shapes our beliefs of self, other, and world. In turn, those beliefs shape our relationships, pervade our families, spread to our communities, and stretch across societies. Our attachment styles and strategies, which can be categorized by individual beliefs about depen...

Empathy is not about putting yourself in someone else’s position and taking into yourself their intense feelings so that...
14/10/2022

Empathy is not about putting yourself in someone else’s position and taking into yourself their intense feelings so that you also become overwhelmed.

Instead, empathic responses flow from trying to understand another’s situation from an external perspective; noticing what your emotional responses might tell you about their experience; and taking action to help.

Therapy offers people the experience of genuine empathic attunement for perhaps the first time in their lives.



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Psychologists’ research offers insight into why it’s so important to practice the 'right' kind of empathy, and how to grow skills in kindness, cooperation, and tolerance.

‘Many of us walk the earth with a feeling that, in order to acceptable, we need to be something very special indeed. It ...
28/09/2022

‘Many of us walk the earth with a feeling that, in order to acceptable, we need to be something very special indeed. It could sound like ambition, but it’s closer to neurosis – and a source of constant and unnecessary pain.’



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Many of us walk the earth with a feeling that, in order to acceptable, we need to be something very special indeed. It could sound like ambition, but it's c...

Therapy provides a safe, non-judgemental relationship. This allows us to learn to understand our experiences and build n...
28/09/2022

Therapy provides a safe, non-judgemental relationship. This allows us to learn to understand our experiences and build new ways of relating to ourselves and others that strengthen an internal sense of safety, well-being and agency.



https://lnkd.in/ew6n5ad
https://lnkd.in/dqJf68J
https://lnkd.in/eVCJM7V
https://lnkd.in/d5nR_QPw
https://lnkd.in/dnDyEGTq

The most fundamental idea at the heart of modern psychotherapy is that in order to heal ourselves from our neuroses in the present, we have to understand wha...

Complex trauma is related to a subtle, "slow burn" type of childhood experience that is difficult to pinpoint, describe,...
28/09/2022

Complex trauma is related to a subtle, "slow burn" type of childhood experience that is difficult to pinpoint, describe, and recall. We might experience a general feeling of distrust or detachment that creeps into our adult relationships, even when those relationships are with people who aren't harmful.



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Complex childhood trauma is subtle but has long-term consequences.

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