Oliver JR Cooper

07/08/2025

30/07/2025

I'm happy to announce that 'Childhood: Is Your Childhood Sabotaging Your Life?' is now available as an audiobook.

• Do you find it hard to connect with your emotions?
• Are you used to having people walk all over you?
• Is intimacy something you desire on one hand and fear on the other?
• Do you find it hard to accept yourself?
• Are you out of touch with your own needs?
• Do you always put other people first or feel responsible for other people’s feelings?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your childhood could be sabotaging your life.

Childhood: Is Your Childhood Sabotaging Your Life? looks into how and what happened in our childhood years, can still be creating problems in our adult years. It is often said that what happened in the past is in the past and that’s the end of it, and while this can sound logical, it is rarely the case.

Many of our present-day problems are in fact the result of what we haven’t dealt with from our past. This book covers over 50 different ways in which your childhood could be sabotaging your life - from relationship problems to emotional challenges, to issues with intimacy and commitment and many other areas.

Link - https://www.amazon.com/Childhood-Your-Sabotaging-Life/dp/B0FGF66GZ9

26/07/2025

I'm happy to announce that 'Bali: Three weeks on The Island of The Gods' is now available as an audiobook.

In Bali - Three weeks on the island of The gods, Oliver takes you on an adventure. The last time he was there was around fourteen years ago with his family but this time, he is alone.

After having visited a number of places in Europe, he felt the calling to finally go back but didn’t fully know why. This was the same calling that took him to Rhodes, Malta and Israel.

From where he is based in Kuta Beach, he visits many other parts of the island. Over the days and weeks that he is there, you will get an idea of what this unique place has to offer.

During his journey, it is not just the people he meets and the conversations that he has that leave a mark; it is also the animals that cross his path. He was used to seeing cats freely walking around, but he was not used to seeing dogs freely walking around.

After the last time he was there, he revisits many of the places he visited before, but with new eyes. Will he regret going back and not going somewhere in Europe, or will he be pleased that he went back?

Link - https://www.amazon.com/Bali-Three-weeks-Island-Gods/dp/B0FHJVZH6B

16/07/2025

The other day, I wrote article number 4,000. So, to celebrate, here is the latest article I have written -

Early Deprivation: What Can Happen If Someone Had A Mother Who Couldn’t Mirror Back Their Value?

Even though someone needed a mother who was able to see and reflect their worth back to them, it doesn’t mean that they had a mother who did this. However, if this were the case, they might not realise this now that they are an adult.

Yet, if they are not aware of what this stage of their life was like or the impact it had on them, they can be aware of certain symptoms that have arisen as a result. If they are, they can see that they often feel low and struggle to do things.

One Conclusion

Due to this, they can believe that they suffer from depression. This could be put down to them having a chemical imbalance, or they may believe that they were just born this way.

The outcome of this is that they could end up being put on medication or using a brain training device. If they were to go down this route, it might be easier for them to function better, but they won’t get to the root of what is going on for them.

Another Direction

Alternatively, they could end up working with a therapist. If this is the case, this could be a time when they will take a closer look at the thoughts that they usually have and what they believe.

They can then find that they often experience negative thoughts about themselves and have a number of disempowering beliefs. So, instead of being on their own side and their own best friend, they will be against themselves and their own worst enemy.

Two parts

For example, the voice in their head could often say that they are worthless, no good, and not good at anything and that other people don’t like them. Additionally, they could believe that they are worthless, useless, incapable and unlovable.

If they can relate to some, if not all, of these thoughts and beliefs, it is not going to be a surprise that they often feel down and struggle to take action, among other things. What is going on inside them will need to change in order for them to create a life that is worth living.

One Approach

After replacing their negative thoughts with positive thoughts and questioning what they believe, they may find that their inner world gradually changes, and so does their behaviour. Then again, they may find that this approach doesn’t really work and that they still spend a lot of time feeling rough.

What can occur to them is that by changing their thoughts, they are simply denying how they really feel. If so, what can then occur to them is that their thoughts are not purely creating their feelings; their feelings are playing a part in them having certain thoughts.

Another Angle

Now, if they were to stay with how they feel and to think about when they first felt this way, what might enter their mind is that they often felt this way as a child. They might see that their mother was often mean and cruel.

Throughout this stage of their life, their mother might have often criticised them, humiliated them, put them down, ignored them, and even physically harmed them. She would then have been anything but nurturing, with her greatly undermining them.

In A Bad Way

What this is likely to show is that their mother was a deeply wounded human being who unconsciously projected her disowned shame and self-hate into them. Most likely, her mother and/or father had treated her in the same way during her formative years, which caused her to develop a disconnected, unfeeling and inflated false self.

Thanks to how disconnected and out of touch with reality she was, she wouldn’t have been aware of what she was doing or how destructive her behaviour was. Deep down, though, she would have believed that her child was worthless, unless, incapable and unlovable, and deserved to be punished.

Straight In

But, although their mother was a deeply wounded human being who was seeing her own disowned self inside them and couldn’t see them clearly, they wouldn’t have realised this. As they were egocentric, they would have believed that their mother was mirroring back who they were.

It was then not that their mother was a deeply wounded human being; no, it was that they were worthless, unless, incapable and unlovable. What their mother mirrored back to them would then have largely formed their view of themselves.

A Lie

With this in mind, the view that they have of themselves has no basis in reality; the truth is that they have inherent worth and are lovable. For them to know this, though, there will be the conditioning that they will need to question, and there will be pain for them to face and process and unmet developmental needs to experience.

This pain and these needs will have been repressed during their formative years when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded, and will have stayed inside their brain and body ever since. Facing and integrating this inner material will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

14/07/2025

15-Minute Introductory Consultation - https://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/free-consultation.htmlBuy a Coffee for Oliver - https://ko-fi.com/oliverjrcooperSign U...

10/07/2025

I'm happy to announce that 'Child Abuse And Neglect: How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect ' is now available as an audiobook.

• Do you find it hard to connect with yourself?
• Are you unable to accept that you deserve to exist?
• Do you find it hard to assert yourself?
• Are you unable to be kind to yourself?
• Do you neglect yourself?
• Is your life seen as a curse as opposed to a gift?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it is likely to show that you were abused and neglected.

Child Abuse And Neglect – How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect is a step-by-step guide that will allow you to gradually heal from child abuse and neglect. You may have struggled with the impact of what took place for as long as you can remember, but your life doesn’t have to stay this way forever.

Each chapter builds upon the other, giving you everything you need to slowly transform your life. Through becoming aware of what you need to do to experience life differently and following the steps, your life will gradually begin to change.

Link - https://www.amazon.com/Child-Abuse-Neglect-How-Heal/dp/B0CY9P853B