Farah Hussain

15/04/2025

This is a Valentine’s display that’s been left up… because displays of love should just hang around forever 😊

And I like this old-fashioned definition of love… it’s not trying too hard… to be clever or ‘spiritual’ ❤️

07/04/2025

🩷

05/04/2025

Your suffering is never caused by the person you're blaming.

And freedom begins the moment you see this.

You always have the choice to remain stuck in blame, shame and/or condemnation or to take total, radical self-responsibility.

As hard as it can seem to take 💯 responsibility, it’s the only true path to freedom since you only truly have control over your own self… your thoughts, words, behaviours, actions and reactions.

And true peace is found in knowing this.

Holding others responsible for your peace or lack thereof, is a fool’s game and although blame can provide some relief and feel like an easy escape at first, it traps you and your partner in a prison of false perception.

It’s tempting to believe that your suffering is caused by someone else —that their words, their actions, or their choices are the reason for the pain or drama. But what if the real source of suffering has nothing to do with what they did or said and everything to do with the way you perceived, processed and dealt with things?

The mind has a way of creating narratives. It builds stories around pain and suffering, assigning fault and attaching emotions to past wounds. Yet the moment you step into blame, power is given away. Blame keeps your focus outward, waiting for someone else to change, apologise, or make things right. You do this knowing full well that you will never be able to control how others act (and hopefully, nor would you want to).

People will act on insecurities, they will make mistakes, they will have meltdowns, and they will disappoint.

So, what will you do next?

Your responses and actions over time will define the quality of your relationship, and may even cause it to completely breakdown.

And your responses will always be affected by your understanding of your true self and how your experience is created.

When you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and take full responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions, your life and relationships transform. ❤️

If you’re struggling in your marriage or relationship… or have a history of challenging/toxic ones… and would like to find out more about working with me 1-1, DM me ‘Yes’ and I’ll get back to you.

04/04/2025

You want what you want because you want it.
You don’t have to dig deep to discover why you want it and you don’t owe anyone an explanation

02/04/2025

Comprehension is key to healthy relationships. You can communicate all you want with someone but if they don’t understand you, it’s chaos

01/04/2025

We live in times when people often don’t consider this… at all.

I agree… s*x is sacred.

29/03/2025

Stop trying to hide or run from your feelings. You will fail and make yourself mentally ill in the process

28/03/2025

Ladies, don’t buy him expensive gifts! You are the gift 😉

26/03/2025

In my years of private practice, I’ve found that one of the hardest things for couples to navigate in relationships is having difficult conversations. Yet healthy relationships require that you hone the ability to do this.

The number of times I’ve heard clients say, ‘I find it really hard to talk about or bring things up that bother me because I don’t like confrontation,’ is staggering.

The sad thing about this way of thinking is that it assumes that a conversation equals confrontation and perhaps also, that it’s something that needs to go on for hours and hours.

It really doesn’t and nor should it. The more simply and easily you can convey what’s bothering you or vice versa, the better… although this may require you to challenge your own assumptions!

The challenge often lies not in relaying or sharing what your issue or concern is but in your fear of your partner’s reaction or their inability to listen and truly hear what you’re saying. And of course, if necessary, to take accountability… or at least to understand and acknowledge your perspective.

So, you say nothing and resentment builds… or you try to sugarcoat what you need to say, approaching it in such a convoluted manner, that you fail to get your point across anyway.

The crux of relational failure is the inability to directly and honestly share what’s bothering you and/or the inability to hear what your partner has to say without reactivity and defensiveness.

If you remember, that pacifying your partner is not the purpose of your relationship and that it does nothing for their growth and spiritual course correction - or yours - you can approach relationships from a completely different perspective.

A perspective of radical self-responsibility that removes shame, blame or condemnation and allows you to transform yourself and in turn, your relationship.

25/03/2025

Marriage is a choice.
It’s a choice to love, to be faithful, to be honest and to be willing to do what it takes to grow stronger together every single day

24/03/2025

17/06/2024

The novelist George Sand once wrote, ‘there is only one happiness in life… to love and be loved’ and while arguably, there may well be more than one happiness, if your heart’s deepest desire is to experience a fabulously healthy, loving and fulfilling relationship, then you will probably agree with her… and you’d be in very good company. 😉

But if your lived experience of relationships so far has been nothing short of chaos and dysfunction, it’s easy to start wondering if perhaps what you desire is not meant for you.🥹

You must understand that if you desire a thing, and that includes a loving relationship or marriage, it's not enough to have the desire and then sit back and do nothing. Or to moan and lament your ‘lot in life’ because your relational encounters have been less than satisfactory; toxic or even abusive. 😣

It’s important to understand what is happening and to recognise that our present moment experiences are sometimes fundamentally affected by our past via the creative adjustments (ways of thinking and internalised stories or beliefs), that we’ve made to cope with or manage the situation.

👉 These adjustments are affecting your way of being and how you show up in your relationships…covertly, overtly, subtly and not-so-subtly.

👉 Understanding these historical experiences and how they influence your personality and functioning in relationship, is an important aspect of the healing process.

👉 You cannot be held responsible for your childhood experiences or the wounding this creates but your healing is 100% your responsibility.

For example, my client who was raised by a highly narcissistic mother who was unable to show her love or meet her basic emotional needs. Over the years, this client repeatedly found herself in abusive and controlling relationships with men. I remember her facial expression and the question she asked in our initial session so vividly, “What the f**k is wrong with me, Farah? It’s like I have a neon sign over my head that says, ‘abuse me’. “

There was nothing wrong with her. It’s just you can’t change a pattern that you can’t see, and you can’t have a new relational experience without doing the healing work to release/change the pattern.

It's so common for women to say, "well, if I'm meant to meet someone, it will happen," or "if it's in my destiny, it will happen."

I'm utterly baffled by this thinking. NO, it really won't. Not unless you do the inner work and release the old stories and lies that are holding you back. Not until you heal the wounds and clear old patterns.

So, the desire for love, commitment and marriage is praiseworthy. 😍

But your desire must be accompanied by an expectation... an active form of attention towards the fulfilment of what you desire... and then followed through with inspired action to bring your heart’s desire of a loving relationship with a wonderful man, into your lived experience here, today.

If you’re ready to heal old wounds, release toxic patterns and reveal the best, most authentic and loveable version of you so that you can attract and maintain the relationship of your dreams, I have something very special for you.

DM me ‘heal’ and I’ll send you the details ♥️