04/08/2025
There is no such thing as self-sabotage.
You are not your own worst enemy.
When you're taught to believe that you are, a war begins inside. Actually, the source of this programming could be considered the enemy and a form of sabotage in itself. Surreptitious, malicious and harmful.
What you label your "inner saboteurs" are instead your allies. Yet you're encouraged to see them as a problem to remove.
If we stop trying to "push through our blocks" and crush or silence these aspects of ourselves, we may be able to have a revealing conversation with these parts which are sources of great wisdom.
Unacknowledged wisdom.
Pissed-off-that-they're-being-ignored-and-"stamped-out" wisdom.
Let's call an end to the self-violence. The inner battleground of shame. The terror of believing you'll never truly be able to trust yourself.
When I've told myself that I was sabotaging my own happiness or success, do you know how that made me feel?
Even more like a miserable failure!
And then instead of realising that accusation was just pop psychology nonsense, I'd create an argument with myself about whose fault it was... the hyper-vigilant pessimist, the over-thinker, the procrastinator perhaps.
See how the battle gets inside?
What I eventually discovered, though, was that when I gave myself the safe enough space to get curious and ask why I was holding back, I'd feel connection and warmth with myself. I'd listen and hear what my struggles were saying.
There is usually an element of fear. And that's okay because we can gently and respectfully explore where that fear originated.
And when we get there, are we going to shame that little girl for resourcing herself against the threat? Of course not. We're going to appreciate her for intuitively knowing how best to survive at that time.
We are going to sit in wonder at how inborn this intelligence is. How the protective spirit of nature provides us with psychological survival skills, even from birth.
So why must we shame ourselves when we feel those inner brakes being applied?
It is more loving to tune in to our wisdom than wrestle with a self-saboteur. Language is important. And when I see how language is subtly manipulated to attack our self-worth, I highlight it.
The trap of believing you're sabotaging yourself leads to more frustration and disempowerment, hopelessly fighting an invisible enemy... instead of becoming curious about a deeper truth.
When you allow yourself time to explore the ways and, more importantly, why you're holding yourself back, you move closer to receiving true inner guidance, developing a beautiful relationship of self-trust.
The truth is, deep down you do love yourself. Just like your body loves to maintain your health. We don't attack our own psyche. We sometimes ingest toxic trends, and when we realise they are not nourishment, we can begin the wonderful work of clearing.
If you're ready to drop the struggle and get beneath the surface to find a clear path through to your goals, DM me for a chat.
