Small Acorn

14/08/2023

If you’re thinking of training to be a Doula then now is the time!! Take advantage of this discount and join me for 11 weeks of Side By Side Doula training, starting September 4th.

16/10/2022

Parenting = nailed it! 🤣

07/10/2022

Thinking of using reusable nappies? Check these guys out!!

Nappy Drop in !

Next friday 14th October at .b_eco_me
18 Westow St, SE19 3AH

10am-12pm

No need to book.

Come for the demos, bring and take event of nappies and baby/ maternity clothes and advise form volunteers and other cloth carers.

Date for your diary:
The next Bromley event will be Thursday 3rd November.

01/10/2022

The words ”baby” and “spoiled” don’t belong in the same sentence.

19/09/2022

14/06/2022

I love this phrase and remind myself of it often!

Connection before correction....such an important little phrase to remember for the best, most effective, discipline!

09/05/2022

As the weather gets warmer, this is great advice… ☀️ 👶

It’s warming up nicely ☀️

Top tips for babywearing safely in this kind of weather (cos babies often still want to be held or you need to go somewhere)…
💦keep well hydrated
🕶find or make shade (brollies are good portable shades!)⛱
🧴protect exposed areas with sun block (zinc based)
☀️use single layer breathable carriers (like the MiniSling, cotton ring sling, mesh Beco Cool/Izmi or the ultra light solar Integra or Tula Lite)
👍hip or back carries are cooler
🌞go out early or late, avoid the middle of the day
😎use a buggy for transport, (but don’t put cloths over for shade, it just raises the temp, use things like the snooze shade)

More at www.carryingmatters.co.uk/heat

06/05/2022

Don’t confuse compliance with respect…

Our society is obsessed with children respecting adults. As children get older, our focus on this respect for elders increases. We tolerate what we deem as 'disrespectful behaviour' from toddlers and preschoolers, but once children are of school age our tolerance wanes. We take their backchat, rudeness and refusal to listen or do what we tell them to do as an indication that they are lacking in respect for us and we meet it with punishments, chastisements and consequences. We are wrong.

Firstly, this apparent disrespect is actually an indication of immature brain development. It isn't pre-meditated. It isn't personal. It's a young person struggling with big emotions and a lack of impulse control. We are the adult here, we need to meet their outbursts with graciousness and understanding, however triggered we may feel by them. Staying calm and mature doesn't mean we are permissive, or 'too soft'. It means we are well-informed, conscious of the underlying cause of the outbursts and the impact our response will have.

Children need the same parenting whatever age they are, 2 or 20 (and anything in between). They don't need "a firmer hand" as they get older (in fact they almost need more understanding and support!). They need us to be understanding and empathic. They need us to teach by being a great role model. They need us to stay calm and stay connected; these are the groundworks that will help children to learn best.

Punishment, shaming, most artificially imposed consequences and the like don't earn respect from children, they create the very opposite of respect. They fracture the relationship and create fear of retribution. At best they cause short-lived compliance. They are poor educators and ineffective forms of discipline, whether you have a toddler or a teen. Never confuse fear and compliance with respect - they couldn't be more different.

01/05/2022

“While I don’t want to make mountains out of molehills, the truth is that many molehills a mountain make. That’s the way brain wiring works. A child’s experience, when coupled again and again with like experiences, impacts her understanding of herself and her place in the world. And so it follows that depending on how we respond to our children, they will come to either value their own point of view or they won’t.” –Jennifer Lehr

There’s a way we talk to children in our culture. It’s different than how we speak to adults, but it needs to change.

26/04/2022

Did you know?…

12/04/2022

First world problems…😆

12/04/2022

I love helping people wear their baby’s. It really is a game changer for parents and babies!

Babies need support adapting to the world outside. This image helps to explain why your baby does not seem to want to be put down and why they are often happiest in your arms.

It's the 4th Trimester... the first few months of adapting to a strange new world. Your body, its shape, scent, sounds and movement, provides familiarity and reassurance... and as babies grow in security and confidence, and begin to wake up more, they will take more of an interest in their environment and want to explore.

This intense stage does pass: understanding why it is happening can help parents feel less overwhelmed with it all. Nobody tells them to expect this and it can come as a shock when all the focus has been on labour and birth. Being a parent of a newborn is a huge experience. How different it could feel if there was more support for every new parent regarding normal baby behaviour, the biological baseline, normal feeding, sleep, the need to be held!

My 4th trimester group has been running for eight years now - the last two years it has been online. Free for all parents and caregivers with a young baby or those expecting. Six weeks of information sharing, non-judgemental empowerment and tips about sling use.

Booking now for the post-Easter course
www.4thTrimester.org.uk

By the way… Babies and children don't stop needing close contact and nurture after this 4th trimester period, of course! They may need that close connection in other ways - short bursts, or contact naps, hand holding, etc. My tweens/teens still hugely value moments of contact, as do I, as as do the elderly patients I care for. Loving, compassionate touch is powerful.

27/03/2022

Happy Mother’s Day 💐 💜

26/03/2022

If anyone asked, I was always “fine”.

Even when our 4 day old was in special care, I was “fine”.

Even when I was let down by those I turned to for support, I was “fine”.

Even when I had PND, I was “fine”.

Even when I developed anxiety, I was “fine”.

Even when I had PTSD, I was “fine”.

So many new parents are not “fine”, but feel that if they discuss their difficulties they are somehow failing or “not enjoying every moment”.

The truth is parenting is an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you don’t have help or support.

One of the reasons that I love supporting my postnatal clients is because they don’t have to pretend to be “fine”.

They can offload their hopes, fears, concerns and frustrations, knowing they won’t be judged or offered advice they really didn’t want or need.

If you are a parent and someone asks how you’re getting on, be honest. Don’t say you’re fine if you’re not, because more honesty like that will pave the way for others to openly discuss their own struggles.

And in this honesty, you may gain an understanding and support for each other that otherwise would be left unspoken.

20/03/2022

Much of my recent Doula work has been with families going through their postpartum journey.

Although every family is different, there isn’t one who has turned down my offer to wash up, cook the dinner, clean, organise cupboards, do the food shopping or hang the washing out.

Of course I do also get to hold the baby, but only when mum asks me to. 😉

"What I really needed was help that made a genuine difference to our now-upside-down-and-inside-out daily lives."

17/03/2022

What deep, beautiful words to describe the experience and acceptance of a caesarean birth… 💛

Dear C-Section Scar,

I didn’t want you. I didn’t plan for you. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid you. But today I touch you with compassion. I smile at you. I send love, grace, and tenderness to you.

You are not weakness. You are not failure. You are not a mistake. You are part of me.

You are not a dead end, the place where my birth journey halted and could travel no further. You are a passage I am still discovering. You are the door that opened to my baby. You are the door that opened into who I am as a mother and as a woman.

Riding over bumps in the car. Laughing and coughing. Bending at my waist. The day I stopped taking narcotics to soften your pain was a milestone. The day I could get out of bed without holding my husband’s arms and without searing pain was a milestone. The day I could stand up from the rocking chair while holding my baby was a milestone. The day I could sit on the floor to play with my son and make my own way back up to my feet was a milestone. The day I could bend over to pull my underwear up by myself was a milestone. These were milestones I resented. I didn’t want to have to be passing through these milestones.

I wasn’t prepared for the numbness. I couldn’t feel anything when my fingertips touched my own skin in the inches between my belly button and p***c bone. My fingers felt like they were touching someone else’s body; there was no feedback from my nerves that had been cut. It felt like I was touching something in me that had died.

The doctor cut through six layers of muscle, tissue, and organ to get to my baby. She separated my abs in the middle and pulled my baby through. I have met at least seven new layers within myself because of you.

You are not my whole story of becoming a mother. But I will never know how my birth as a mother would have been different had I pushed my baby out of my va**na.

C-section scar, You are the dark place cut into me that opened into light. You will never be one simple story, but you will always be mine.
Posted in dedication to all the C-section mamas✨

By: Catherine Gray
Incredible Image .

Gem

04/03/2022

I cannot wait for another gem of a book from my favourite parenting guru, Sarah Ockwell-Smith! “How To Be A Calm Parent” is definitely going on my reading list.

But before that I need to get back to reading “Between”…