Doula Caron Smith

28/07/2022

So true!!!

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣
by not only the mother,⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣
⁣
But the mother,⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣
⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣
⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
⁣
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣
⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣
⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣
⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣

📸: This Mama Doodles
....................................................⁣⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

04/07/2022

How many times a day do you take a sip of your drink? It’s likely that you don’t restrict your fluid intake based on the clock, but if you’re thirsty you simply... get a drink.

If you’re feeling disconnected, worried, or sad, you probably seek out connection. Often this might be a hug, but it can take many other forms.

It’s very unlikely that you restrict your fluid intake according to the clock. It’s also unlikely that you restrict your access to comfort and connection because it’s “only” an emotional need.

Babies are tiny. They are some of the most vulnerable members of our society. And yet, STILL in 2022 you don’t have to look far to come across the message that by X weeks or Y months old your baby “should” be going however long between feeds, or should be able to soothe themselves without reassurance and support from an adult. The same adults who freely sip from their water bottle or coffee cup, and who seek comfort from friends and family, or weighted blankets, food, exercise, or a massage etc when they need it.

Just think about that the next time someone tells you that your baby is “only” feeding for comfort, or they “can’t” be hungry again.

28/05/2022

So very true!!!! Empathy and understanding -priceless qualities of care in maternity services. Women never forget how they were treated at their most vulnerable.

27/05/2022

They tell us how to grow a baby. What to eat.
What not to eat. What vitamins to take and what bras to buy. Allll the prenatal yoga moves to do.

But they forget to tell us how to put ourselves back together once that baby is born.
They forget to tell us how we might feel like we’re drifting.
Afloat. Alone. On a life raft with leaky breasts and sore stitches and a tiny little being dependent upon us for survival.
They forget to tell us how weird and wild it feels to have loose organs shifting about inside of us. How there will be so much softness still.

I get it. You don’t want to startle us. You don’t want us to be scared about what’s ahead.
But….a little heads up would be helpful
We’re brave enough for the truth.
And those things you find so scary- loose skin and leaky breasts and big feelings- we might just be bold enough to welcome them.
To see the beauty there.

So here’s the truth mama-
Your pelvic floor will probably need work and attention. You’ll have to put in some effort to regain that muscle strength, no matter how gentle your birth. Your breasts and belly will probably never be the same. Love them anyway. Love than more than before!! Celebrate them! Buy bras that make you feel sexy. Then move on.

Your identity and sense of self will change radically. Buckle up for the ride. You’ve got this. Your partnership and friendships and general relationship with the outside world might feel foreign for awhile. Or forever. Those relationships might crack and break under the weight of new parenthood. Live your truth. Leave the rest behind. In love.

The whole world might feel shaken up.
You’ll probably feel shaky and raw
That’s normal (they just forgot to tell you.)

You’re new here. In this skin. In this role. In this love. You’ll find your way. You’ll find your rhythm. It will all fall into place- with time.
Until then- breathe.
As deeply as you can.
Drink your tea before it gets cold.
If you can.
Rest -
whenever you can.
And love on your new self.
As deeply as you can.

10/05/2022

It’s our baby session for under ones tomorrow morning 9.30-11.30 and every Wednesday at The Playhub 😊. Just drop in for a cuppa and a chat, even if you’re still in your pyjamas with a coat on top- we’ve all been there!

We have loads of mats, chairs and toys plus weighing scales if you need them. Our changing table is always stocked with spare nappies and we have a basket of spare toiletries for mums too.

The session is £4 and is bookable here (all drinks and snacks included) https://bookwhen.com/playhubsuk/e/ev-swm7-20220511093000 or feel free to pop in at the last minute x

10/05/2022

with
・・・
You read that right!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The most up to date research says the occasional use of alcohol (1-2 drinks a week) isn’t harmful to the nursing baby.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you’re able to drive, you’re able to breastfeed.
➡️Less than 2% of the alcohol consumed by the mother reaches her blood and milk.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You don’t need to pump and dump… it actually doesn’t speed the elimination of alcohol from breastmilk.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
‼️EXCEPTION: If you drink enough to make you feel disorientated or cause vomiting, do not breastfeed until you are sober!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Who’s been told you CAN’T drink while breastfeeding?

10/05/2022

Knix created the The Life After Birth Project, which saw 250 photos of real moms exhibited in an NYC gallery.

02/04/2022

Ramadan Mubarak!

Tomorrow is the first day of Ramadan in the UK. If you're breastfeeding, your body will continue to produce breastmilk for your baby, even if you choose to fast during the day. However, the Quran does exempt you from fasting while breastfeeding if you would prefer - instead, you can make up the fast at another time, or alternatively you may be able to pay fidyah (feed a person in need).

If you are fasting, some mums find that it helps to change the order of the day around, so that you are resting more in the day and resuming other activities in the evening (although of course this may not always be possible).

BfN peer supporter Zamzam Elmi wrote a guest blog post for us last year, about her experiences of breastfeeding during Ramadan, as well as sharing some information about supporting breastfeeding mums during this time. You can read it here:
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/breastfeeding-during-ramadan/

If you need more info or support, give the National Breastfeeding Helpline UK a call on 0300 100 0212.

01/02/2022

I think of all the things that they
Said that I should do

“Have the room 18 degrees
And have it pitch black too.”

“Have her close enough to see
And close enough to touch

But do not bring her in with you
No, that’s far too much.”

“Wrap her tightly, arms tucked in
White noise playing loud

Then place her drowsy but awake
And leave without a sound.”

As I lay here holding little you
Asleep within my arms

I think of all the things I wish
They’d told me from the start.

That when you cried, that was you
Calling out in need

That no matter why you called
The answer would be me.

That your body was not long from mine
You’d miss the steady sound

Of the heart that beat above you
As you curled yourself around

The warmth of mother waters
Held in by the embrace

Of mother skin, that grew for you —
The place that kept you safe.

That night-time wouldn’t change a thing
Your calls still meant the same

That you wouldn’t know the sun had set
As your lungs cried out my name.

That, darling, we weren’t broken
That this is how it should be

That the nights they might seem long
But the days fly by so quickly.

You see, they didn’t tell me
But my heart knew what to do

It told me just to listen
And all I heard was you.

Words: Jess J E S S]
Artwork:

Poem from my upcoming book 📚❤️

J E S S]

16/07/2021

"What if we held the mother first? • What if we held her so much that she could breathe out those worries—the ones wrapping those tight circles in her mind? • What if we asked her, how are you really doing? • And what if we held space for the answer—whatever it might be? • What if we listened? • What if we gifted her with our own stories; our own truths? • What if she listened? • What if we told her we knew it was hard because we’ve walked her walk? • What if we weren’t so quick to forget? • What if we told her that we get it and that in all of that hard, you are doing so very well? • What if we did that before we held the baby? • And what if, in all of that space, she felt ready for us to hold the baby—because she felt held herself?"

Thank you for such beautiful and wise words 🤎🤎

02/06/2021

It’s important to keep your baby cool when you’re out and about, but prams and buggies should not be covered with blankets, cloths or any cover that prevents the air circulating. Covering a pram or buggy with a blanket could lead to overheating, which increases the chance of SIDS.

Attach a clip-on sunshade to the pram to keep your baby out of direct sunlight and monitor their temperature by feeling their tummy or the back of their neck.

Find out more at lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/baby-summer-safety/

02/01/2021

Looks great - for any of my friends/colleagues/clients with little ones

12/12/2020

Information on coronavirus (corona virus/Covid-19) and breastfeeding for mums and families in the UK

03/12/2020

From today all families in England with a baby under 1 year can form a support bubble with one other household. You can keep your support bubble even if your child has a birthday as long as they are under 1 on the 2nd December. This also applies to families with a child under 5 who has a disability that requires continuous care.

If you have already formed a childcare bubble (for childcare purposes only for children under 14), your support bubble can be with a different household but you mustn't mix with both bubbles at the same time.

To find out more about how support bubbles and childcare bubbles work, and see the new rules visit https://www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

05/11/2020

Have you heard about that rush of love you will get when you meet your baby?

We hear about this all the time don’t we? That feeling everyone tells you you’ll get, the second your new baby is placed in your arms.

We are told it will be an all consuming and instant love like no other.

Yes. Maybe. Not necessarily.

Their is no “right” way to feel when you meet your baby and everyone’s experience is valid.

💭 You might feel shell shocked.

💭 You might feel exhausted.

💭 You might feel like you haven’t got a clue what’s going on.

💭 You might feel terrified.

💭 You might feel nothing.

💭 You might feel overwhelming joy

💭 You might feel a million different things.

And that is ok, that is totally normal.

This is your reminder that you are allowed to feel whatever you feel at the moment when you meet your baby.

There is no feeling that is ‘right’ and no feeling that is ‘wrong’. What you feel in that moment has no bearing on what type of parent you’re going to be, if you birthed ‘right’ (thats’s not a thing that you can do right or wrong either, by the way) or anything else at all.

Whatever you feel is valid.

You are valid ❤️

📷

http://jessicawarne.com/hypnobirth-group-course/

05/11/2020

Some more ideas for looking after your mental health when you’re already depleted (and now in winter lockdown too in the uk) part 3 (see previous posts for part 1 & 2)

9. Plan daily pockets of joy and relaxation. Creating positive affect is imperative right now. Also plan things to look forward across the week and month so your brain has something positive to anticipate.

10. Prioritise activities which give you meaning and purpose, as these are inherently good for wellbeing.

11. Create comforting rituals. These can be things you do on a daily/ weekly basis. Or create Meaningful new family/ friend/ workplace rituals to look forward to.

12. Make active decisions about what you let into your limited brain space. Don’t allow News, social media and negative information to take up too much of your resources. Decide what it is most helpful for you to focus on right now.

13. Our brains like certainty but Check if the places you are looking for certainty are actually creating more uncertainty or making you feel anxious. We can often check news/ social media or seek reassurance/ talk about the current situation more in an attempt to create certainty. But often these can actually make us feel worse and more uncertain.

14. Watch out for the myths and societal messages around productivity. We are naturally inclined to want to achieve and society bolsters this belief by rewarding achievements. Then when our productivity drops because we are depleted, we can no longer meet our own set of standards which means we feel like we are failing.

15. Try to set realistic expectations based on how you are feeling now, not what you are usually like. Allow yourself to slow down, lower the bar and do less if possible.

16. Reframe the meaning of breaks and rest and allow yourself to enjoy breaks. These are essential for your body, brain and wellbeing. Sitting on the settee watching Netflix for a whole day doesn’t make you lazy, if you enjoy it (which you are more likely to if you allow yourself to do it) then it is an activity which helps restore your resources and rest your brain and body. And that’s more necessary then ever right now.

To be continued in part 4.

04/11/2020