03/09/2025
3 years of RTT , when I think of how much my life has changed since I became a RTT Therapist, heavily grieving my beautiful mum, trying to Navigate being a single mum while studying ,working and running a house .
Yes it was tough but I am so incredibly grateful as it has changed my life completely. I honestly believe my mum pushed me through, giving me guidance, opportunities and strength.
When I turned up at the live event in Rushden I was not confident that I should be there , in fact when the first couple of people I met were doctors I felt so far out of my comfort zone! “Who do I think I am? I’m the joke, the f**k up”, I can’t do this, I quickly made an exit to the toilets and sobbed, panicking that I had waisted all my inheritance, I felt like a loser and so out of my depth! I felt like everyone could see that I should not be there , who does she think she is! I did not feel good enough at all! But I felt like I couldn’t leave either, I was trapped.
I calmed myself down , wiped my face and plastered the huge smile on my face that I had always used to cover up my feelings, if I act over the top confident, happy, laughing and taking the p**s out of myself before someone else does then no one will know I’m a fraud and so scared. I just had to make it through this whole week.
That week was tough emotionally, we had to be vulnerable in front of strangers, something I never liked to be , I couldn’t laugh it away while hypnotised, I was faced with why I ignore my own feelings all the time and why the 3 year old me and 10 year old me decided it’s best not to be too much trouble to anyone.
While that sounds traumatic it’s so freeing and what comes after is so empowering, I genuinely walked out of that week a completely different person and I have continued to evolve ever since .
Who knew the woman who could not stand her own voice and worried what people thought of her would be using her voice for a living 🤯
(many people that knew me in my 20s may think , she wasn’t like that , she was loud and in your face , and maybe a bit of a dick , well that was a mask and it was depressing when I was alone side note I can still be a dick sometimes 😂)
I am so passionate about what I do and I genuinely get excited when I know I can help someone to help themselves , I get so emotional when I see the change in them . I have met so many incredible people through RTT and Breathwork (including my beautiful roommate Dee Macey) and I am truly grateful for where I am today and who I have in my life .
Enter perimenopause to shake things up a little 🤦🏻♀️😂😂 watch this space
Thank you to Adele Page you gave me the means to start and a healthy shove. And of course my beautiful Mum , even though I do know without a doubt in my mind You see all this , I really wish I could share it with you . ❤️
