Active Minds Coaching

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Active Minds Coaching

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Khalie – ADHD & AuDHD Coach | Course Creator | Wirral
Face-to-face & online support
Emotional regulation • Executive function • AuDHD paradox • RSD • Burnout
“See yourself clearly and joy returns.”
Work with me👇

20/01/2026

I attended a brilliantly informative Trauma and Autism webinar. It that confirmed something I’ve been living for years.

My PTSD came from supporting an undiagnosed neurodivergent young person through extreme distress, without the right understanding or support.

Three years ago, I knew very little about autism or ADHD. I honestly thought I was just very emotional. I had coped my whole life and never questioned it.

Then a period of intense stress changed everything.

I stayed on high alert.
I kept going because that felt like the only option. Until I couldn’t.

The things I could normally do with my eyes closed became impossible:
Write an email.
Sleep.
Cook.
Speak.

But the hardest part wasn’t what I couldn’t do.

It was how I felt:
Shame.
Guilt.
Fear.
Confusion.
Loneliness.

My nervous system was turning in on itself and I didn’t know why. I had to learn because nobody was giving me the any answers.

I started seeing behaviour, distress, and trauma through a completely different lens.

I received my own ADHD diagnosis and was placed on the autism pathway. And today’s learning confirmed what I had already suspected and what is still so often missed.

I want to say this clearly: I’m proud of myself for showing up. It took courage to face a big part of my life, and that matters.

This journey now shapes the work I do supporting late-diagnosed clients as they find their way back to safety, clarity, and joy. ✨I’m deeply grateful to the researchers doing such thoughtful, compassionate work in the neurodivergent space.
Your work gives me language, understanding, and a way forward.

19/01/2026

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is real.

When parents are misunderstood, dismissed, or unheard, the impact is deeply damaging not only for them, but for the children they are trying to support.

Too often, parents are told they are too soft, too flexible, or that the difficulty must lie in their parenting style. This framing is unhelpful and, in many cases, harmful. It ignores the complexity of neurodivergent distress and places responsibility in the wrong place.

Many parents are bravely navigating life with neurodivergent children with very limited understanding, guidance, or systemic support. They are holding enormous emotional and practical loads, often in isolation, and many are burning out as a result.

Parents do not need judgement.
They need to be listened to.
They need validation, support, and informed guidance.

There is currently very little provision designed to keep parents regulated, resourced, and strong enough to continue supporting their children safely and sustainably. That gap matters and it has consequences for the whole family system.

We can do better.

Continued, well-funded research into PDA and neurodivergent trauma is essential. Families need clearer frameworks, stronger evidence, and pathways that reflect lived reality rather than outdated assumptions.

Ongoing research in this space really matters to families.

17/01/2026

I’m doing it again.
Training. Learning. Sitting quietly with the imposter voice shouting why are you here?

Today I was in training with ADHD Works, becoming a neuroaffirmative supervisor — and I felt completely terrified.

Surrounded by so much skill, experience and talent, the doubt was loud.
And yet… once again, I was blown away.

Not just by the learning, but by how safe the space felt.

This is what this organisation does best.
It creates genuine psychological safety.
Human first. Professional second.

In full honesty I changed my clothes three times before settling on a silk shirt because it felt “acceptable”.
What I really wanted was my dungarees.
I realised I was masking before the session had even started.

That noticing mattered.

Before the meeting I’d rushed the school run, walked the dog, sat down panicked…
No tea.
Everyone introducing themselves.
All I could think was: I want my tea. Why am I here?

And then it landed.

Sometimes the shift isn’t the work.
It’s the view.

Today reminded me why psychologically safe spaces matter so much.
This is where real learning and real growth actually happens.

16/01/2026

In response to Jo Platt address to Parliament.

Through my work, I regularly see the long-term impact of late diagnosis and of living a lifetime on the spectrum without knowing it.

Women and marginalised groups are particularly affected. I was late diagnosed myself at 49 and placed on the autism pathway, so this is both professional insight and lived experience.

In 2013, with the publication of DSM-5, it was formally recognised that autism and ADHD can co-occur and that adults can, and do, have ADHD. And yet our systems have been slow to catch up with what we already know.

What I find myself reflecting on most is this:

Why are so many services still designed for a single neurotype?

Why do families often receive meaningful support only once they reach crisis point?

Why are ADHD and autistic people so over-represented within mental health services and the prison system?

And why is there so little advocacy for older people who enter residential care without anyone recognising that they too may be neurodivergent?

These aren’t questions about individuals they’re questions about system design.

If we want different outcomes, we need a broader and more nuanced understanding of what ADHD actually is, and an acceptance that one-size-fits-all approaches don’t work.

ADHD doesn’t disappear with age and our systems shouldn’t either.

04/01/2026

Have you ever felt fine and then your nervous system just says “no”?

I went out early for a quiet breakfast.
Tiny café. Calm. Safe.

Then a running group walked in.
All at once.
Red faces, loud voices, big energy.

I noticed it immediately.
The contrast.

That’s when the anxiety kicked in.
That tight, buzzy feeling.
Like my body didn’t know where to land anymore.

The space just changed.
Suddenly louder. Busier. Too much.

My body reacted before my brain could catch up.
That prickly, overwhelmed feeling.
The urge to disappear.

I wasn’t angry at anyone.
It was the sudden shift.
From settled to overstimulated.

So I left.

The hardest part came afterwards.
The looping.
The shame.

Not because I caused a scene.
But because I didn’t stay and push through.
I’m unlearning that.

If this feels familiar,
you’re not too much.

31/12/2025

I’ve never really liked New Year’s Eve.

For years it felt heavy.
Too loud. Too reflective. Too public.
So I hid from it.

This year feels different.
Not because life suddenly became easy,
but because I finally understand myself.

In 2025 I was diagnosed with ADHD and placed on the autism pathway.
I left a corporate career of 20 years and stepped into work that fits who I actually am.

So much of who I thought I was had been shaped by expectations that were never mine.

Therapy mattered.
Being supported by someone neuro-affirming helped me meet myself with compassion rather than correction.

I learned that to support others well, you need support too.
Being coached changed how I show up in my life and in my work.

What I do now is offer space to people as they find their way back to themselves.
Not to fix.
Not to rush.
Just to be alongside them as they untangle beliefs that were never theirs and slowly find joy again.

And my daughters…
they are absolute legends.

They teach me every day through their bravery, conviction, kindness, and compassion.
They remind me what it looks like to live with integrity, even when it’s hard.

I don’t coach from a script or a model.
I coach with presence, care, and honesty.

I never imagined I’d be here.
This work found me.

I’m not hiding from myself anymore.
This life fits me now.
My next year is unwritten.

17/12/2025

I only found out recently that in the UK you couldn’t be diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism until 2013.
Just 12 years ago.

That one fact stopped me in my tracks.

Because before that, you were one or the other.
And so many of us slipped through the cracks.
Told it was anxiety.
Told we were coping.
Told we were “just sensitive”.

This happened to me too.
And some days I still sit with the quiet grief of not knowing sooner —
how much softer life might have been if I’d understood my brain earlier.

If you’re late-diagnosed AuDHD, you probably live in this constant push and pull:
You long for connection, then need to disappear.
Your mind is bursting with ideas, but your body won’t move.
You talk easily, then replay every word later.
You chase new things while already exhausted.

It’s confusing.
It’s lonely.
And it’s not your fault.

Your brain isn’t broken — it’s beautifully complex.

This is why AuDHD coaching matters to me so deeply.
Not to fix you.
Not to make you “better”.
But to sit beside you while you gently work out who you are without the mask.

To help you untangle relationships where you’ve over-given.
To soften the pressure you put on yourself.
To find a way of living that actually fits you.

You already hold so much wisdom inside you.
Coaching is simply a space where you’re allowed to listen to it.

I work with late-diagnosed AuDHDers in short, focused containers (up to 12 weeks).
And the most important thing?
We have to feel safe together. We have to vibe.

If any part of this landed, you’re very welcome here.
No pressure. No fixing. Just space 💛

Comment “me” if this made you feel seen.

12/12/2025

For any mum who needed to hear this right now…

If today felt heavy, and your mind keeps replaying all the things you “should’ve done better”,
please remember:
you’re not failing, you’re human.

04/12/2025

Before we talk about ‘over-diagnosis’, we need to talk about who was never diagnosed.

Everyone’s talking about “over-diagnosis” right now.
But so many of us, women, girls, and marginalised communities went decades completely unseen.

We don’t need a review that makes support harder to access.
We need one that finally understands why we were missed in the first place.

Address

West Kirby

Website

http://www.activemindshypnotherapy.com/

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