05/03/2025
I work with mums and dads after they have experienced baby loss and I have heard the best and worst responses possible from employers. The general atmosphere and culture in your work place will lay the foundations for whether your employee feels they can speak to you or not and can impact how quickly they return to work.
The most important first step is to have a human response. Please remember that whatever gestation your employee was at, this was their baby. They have already created their future in their minds and the undoing of that takes time. Check in with how they are on a human level, not a professional level.
Be aware that any contact you make potentially will be stressful for them, be clear about why you are contacting them, ie this is just a text to let you know we are thinking of you. If they are reaching the end of their leave; I'm aware that this is incredibly difficult and would like to have a chat about how we navigate your return to work when you're ready.
Check what your workplace policies are and what the law is, the law has just changed to entitle all women 2 weeks bereavement leave after a loss, this is seperate to sick leave. If their loss is after 24 weeks, they are entitled to a years leave.
When they do feel ready to return to work, it is in everyone's favour for them to have a phased return. When we go through a traumatic event our brain stops functioning in the same way (the fight or flight response trumps the decision making of the neo cortex for a while). Check in with them as to how they might like this to look, ie shorter days building up or fewer days, building up. A phased return means they are less likely to then be so stressed or emotionally exhausted that they need additional leave.
If they can work from home, initially this may be a preferable option to them. Consider how many women are pregnant in your team, this can also be tricky to be around for men and women after loss, are there any ways you can mitigate this, if that would be helpful to your employee? (Ie different office days, changing teams or shifts) They know they can't avoid pregnant people forever but perhaps we can support this transition better.
Cont
