In Your Corner Hypnotherapy & NLP

03/02/2026

Allow me to help you to help you!

31/01/2026

If you’ve ever been told to “send them to calm down” and it didn’t sit right with you — this is why.
Children don’t learn regulation through isolation. They learn it through connection. Through an adult who stays close, steady, and calm enough for them to borrow that calm until their own nervous system can catch up. This isn’t about spoiling or rescuing. It’s about building the brain skills that make self-regulation possible.

30/01/2026

If we haven’t learned how to regulate our own emotions,
it’s unfair to expect our children to manage theirs.

They don’t learn calm from instructions.
They learn it from experience.

From being with someone
who can stay steady
when emotions run high.

Children borrow our nervous systems
long before they borrow our advice.

So when we slow down,
pause,
and regulate ourselves,
we’re already teaching them how.

Calm doesn’t start with them —
it begins with us. ❤️

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30/01/2026

Most parents don’t mean to pass anything down.
They’re doing the best they can
with what they’ve been given.

But unexamined pain has a way of speaking anyway —
through reactions, patterns, and moments we don’t fully understand.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.

Because much of what hurts children isn’t intentional.
It’s inherited.
Unquestioned.
Repeated under stress.

Healing doesn’t mean getting it right all the time.
It means being willing to look inward,
to repair when we miss,
and to interrupt what no longer needs to be carried forward.

So we heal for our babies —
so they don’t have to fight
battles that were never theirs to begin with. ❤️

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29/01/2026

You will never see your reflection in boiling water.
Not because the reflection is gone—
but because agitation distorts what is already there.

In the same way, truth cannot be seen when the mind is angry.
Anger heats the mind.
It shakes perception.
It turns assumptions into facts and reactions into conclusions.

In Buddhist teaching, this state is called a mind under the influence of kleshas—mental poisons like anger, craving, and ignorance. When anger arises, right view collapses. We stop seeing things as they are and begin seeing them as we feel.

🧘‍♂️ The Buddha taught that wisdom does not arise from force, argument, or emotional intensity—but from stillness and mindful awareness.
Just as muddy water clears when left undisturbed, the mind regains clarity when we stop stirring it.

This is why meditation in Buddhism is not about escaping reality.
It is about letting reality reveal itself.

When the mind is calm:

Words soften

Judgments loosen

Truth becomes visible

Compassion naturally arises

Still the mind—not to suppress emotion, but to understand it.
Sit with the heat without acting from it.
Let anger cool into insight.

✨ When the water settles, the reflection returns.
When the mind settles, truth appears.

Not because truth was created—
but because it was never absent.

26/01/2026

25/01/2026

Sometimes it’s not that our children don’t talk —
it’s that we don’t truly listen.

Not because we don’t care, but because we’re often too caught up —
in fixing, in guiding, in rushing to make things right —
to slow down and really hear them.

So much of what they’re trying to tell us isn’t in their words at all.
It’s in the pauses, the sighs,
the change in tone, the things they can’t quite name yet.

True listening means tuning in to what lives beneath the words —
the feelings they don’t know how to voice, the stories they’re still learning to tell.

Too often, when we do listen, we listen to reply —
waiting for the pause so we can make our point,
correct their version, or defend our own.

But real listening is presence without agenda.
It’s hearing not just the words, but the need beneath them.

Because sometimes the “screaming” isn’t loud at all.
It’s in the slammed door, the sarcasm,
the eye roll, the withdrawal.
It’s their nervous system saying,
I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t know how to make you see it.

When we slow down enough to hear what’s beyond the noise —
to the fear, the frustration, the longing underneath —
we teach them they don’t have to fight to be understood.

And that kind of listening?
It doesn’t just calm their voice;
it calms their heart. ❤️

25/01/2026

Your first thought isn't really yours.

It's your parents. Your environment. Every experience that shaped you before you had a say in it.

The angry reaction. The jealous impulse. The insecure assumption. That's just programming running on autopilot.

You didn't choose it. You're not responsible for it.

But the second thought? That one's on you.

That's the moment where you decide whether to follow the impulse or override it. React or respond. Be the person you were conditioned to be or the person you're trying to become.

Most people never realize there's a gap there. Stimulus happens, reaction follows, and they assume that's just "who they are."

It's not. It's just who they were trained to be.

The gap between the first thought and the second is small. Maybe a few seconds. But that's where everything gets decided. That's where you're actually built.

You can't control what shows up in your head. You can control what you do next.

—

I write a weekly newsletter where I unpack these ideas.

→ newsletter.scottdclary.com

25/01/2026

We’re often told we’re protecting our children
when we push them to be more, do more, achieve more.

But beneath that urgency, there’s often something quieter at work —
an unhealed belief that WE are not enough.

Children don’t arrive questioning their worth.
They come whole.
They love themselves freely, instinctively.
And without realising it, we can begin to hand them our doubts —
measuring them through the same lens we learned to measure ourselves.

So much of parenting isn’t actually about shaping them.
It’s about confronting the parts of us
that still feel the need to prove, strive, or earn belonging.

Because to raise children who stand in their worth,
we have to stand in ours.
To teach them they are enough,
we have to believe it about ourselves.

Loving them comes naturally.
Learning to love ourselves again —
that’s the work. ❤️

25/01/2026

This is how cycles change. ❤️

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25/01/2026

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the permission to trust themselves —
to listen to that quiet voice inside before the world teaches them to doubt it.

Because that instinct, that gut feeling,
is the body’s first language of truth.
It whispers before logic catches up,
before politeness overrides protection,
before fear convinces them to ignore what they already know.

To be clear, this isn’t about giving them a free pass to roll their eyes at chores
or refuse every sensible request —
it’s about something much deeper.
It’s about helping them recognise when something feels wrong,
when a boundary is crossed,
or when their safety — emotional or physical —
is at stake.

And just as importantly,
it teaches them to recognise and respect that same “no” in others —
to understand that boundaries go both ways,
and that real connection is built on mutual consent and care.

When we teach our kids that no is a complete sentence —
one that doesn’t require justification or apology —
we teach them self-respect.
We teach them safety.
We teach them sovereignty over their own bodies, boundaries, and hearts.

Let them know they can always revisit, reflect, and reframe later.
But in the moment their gut says no —
to how they’re being treated, or how someone else is —
that’s enough.
That’s wisdom speaking.

This is how we raise children who grow into adults that still know how to listen —
to their intuition, their limits, and their truth. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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