Dr Marta Paglioni - The Cosy Room Dramatherapy in Winchester

10/04/2026

We live in a world which keeps on neglecting the feminine. Not as a gender, but as a principle, as Marion Woodman beautifully put it here referring to Jung.
As long as we keep on seeing only “parts” neglecting the “whole” we are all part of, we will miserably miss the point.

21/03/2026

“There’s also the question of age. By midlife, loss is no longer theoretical. Parents falter. Friends receive diagnoses. Marriages end. You accumulate farewells and if each one adds a layer of armour, you can find yourself efficient but unreachable. Capable but distant. You can host a dinner flawlessly and still avoid any conversation that edges near your own hurt.

I don’t want that version of myself. I can see how easily she could form. Competent. Controlled and slightly superior about having survived. The line feels like a refusal of that trajectory. Not a promise that grief will ennoble you, but a request that it might widen you instead of narrowing you.

That widening is about small choices. Answering the call when you’d prefer to withdraw. Letting a friend talk about their happiness without shifting the focus back to your loss. Admitting you’re not coping as well as you pretend. None of it is glamorous. All of it keeps you permeable.

Grief may not soften. Some losses remain raw. But if they are going to stay, I’d rather they carve space in me than fill me with stone. I don’t say that with certainty. I say it as an intention I have to renew, especially on the days when hardness feels far more efficient.”

© Echoes of Women - Fiona.F, 2026. All rights reserved

27/02/2026

I hear a lot about how therapists ‘mustn’t rescue’ clients. Whilst I mostly agree with this I also want to acknowledge some benefits…
Learn the theory, take your client’s lead, and then do it in the way that is true and authentic to you and the process 🫶

20/02/2026

14/02/2026

Glasgow, British Association of Dramatherapists conference 2026 “From Shadow to Strength” ❤️
What do I do with those hands???😂

13/02/2026

Refreshing words, which, as a therapist, remind me of the core of what I do and why I do it. They remind me what is meant to be behind any technique, any new or old approach or “method”. To quote, if, as a therapist, you “cannot stay present and grounded without hiding, I think you are a dangerous therapist” 🙏

“THERAPY IS A HUMAN TO HUMAN RELATIONAL INTER-ACTION, NOT A MEDICAL AND STANDARDAZIBLE INTERVENTION

We can pretend all we
want that therapy is a
medical treatment
intervention, but it does
not make it so.

The language of “theraplish” is now containing a lot of terms sounding like therapy is a science-based, evidence-based and medical intervention. Currently “theraplish” is taking in words from neurosciences. It is all about; stimulating our vagus nerve, our nervous system that needs to be regulated, our brain stem that needs to be deeply stimulated our memories that needs to be moved from short term memory to long term memory and “filed” correctly, bilateral stimulation to help us process things, getting our neo-cortex online, calming our amygdala, unshrink our hypothalamus, balance the allostatic load, do cortisol-detoxes, activate our mirror neurons - or whatever is most popular to talk about for the moment.

Therapy is also supposed to follow standardized protocols, use evidence-based techniques, and “keep the therapist out of it” (Freud called that to be “abstinent”).

Therapy to me is all about the relationship and the interactions. About being present to someone else’s pain, without hiding one’s own humanity. If you cannot stay present and grounded without hiding, I think you are a dangerous therapist.

People coming to therapy have often experienced before in their lives how it is to be objectified, analyzed, problematized, dealt with, labeled, prognosticated, demonized, pathologized, isolated, kept at a distance, abandoned, othered, alienated, controlled instructed, taught and trained, villainized, refused support, disbelieved, shamed and blamed…

People don’t need more of that, or anything that resembles it. But many therapies build on provoking the “patient/client” until they react to the therapist and the circumstances of therapy like how they reacted when the above happened to them.

When they do – this is blamed on the “client” as how they react is seen as their “disorder”, not like an appropriate reaction to a disempowering and unempathetic situation.

This is not the kind of therapy I offer. I mean what I say when I say I know the support seeking person has all their own answers, can find them without me provoking anything, and that most people grow better when they are treated with and offered respect, care, warmth, interest, trust, presence, humanness, empathy…

The idea of therapy needs to be rebuilt. It is not a medical intervention. No matter how much Freud or any current therapist may wish it were so.”
Felicia Katarina Lundgren.

13/02/2026

Civic intimacy… I like it!❤️

11/02/2026

I so love this. From Catherine Heseltine -drop the disorder Facebook group

23/01/2026

“From the observations of Bessel van der Kolk, one of the most authoritative scholars in the field of psychotraumatology, a seemingly paradoxical fact emerges: many traumatized people do not only avoid the memory of the traumatic event, but also tend to seek out emotionally intense, conflictual, and even dangerous situations.
Van der Kolk recounts that, while working with veterans of the Vietnam War, he noticed that many of them seemed to come back to life precisely when they narrated the most dramatic episodes of combat—such as falling from helicopters, being wounded, or witnessing the death of fellow soldiers. Despite the horror of these memories, in those moments the patients appeared more present and more connected to themselves.
This phenomenon, however, is not limited to war veterans. In everyday clinical practice, something similar can also be observed in people who have experienced abuse, accidents, violence, early neglect, or highly dysfunctional relationships. These individuals often report a chronic sense of emptiness, boredom, and emotional detachment, which is temporarily relieved only when they are involved in highly charged situations—such as conflicts, unstable relationships, risky behaviors, or dynamics of submission and aggression.
After a trauma, the body can remain stuck in two main states:
Hyperactivation, characterized by anxiety, anger, hypervigilance, and impulsivity.
Hypoactivation, which manifests as emotional numbness, a sense of emptiness, detachment, and apathy.
Many people oscillate between these two poles. When they are in a shutdown state, the absence of emotions can be experienced as deeply distressing, even if it is less overt than fear or panic. In these moments, situations of high emotional intensity—including negative ones—can reactivate the nervous system and produce a sensation of vitality.
In other words, it feels better to feel something painful than to feel nothing at all.
Another fundamental aspect is that the traumatized brain tends to confuse what is familiar with what is safe. If early relational or life experiences were characterized by instability, fear, or unpredictability, the nervous system may learn to recognize those sensations as normal.
As a result, calm, stability, and safety can feel unfamiliar, even boring. This helps explain why some people feel uncomfortable in healthy relationships or in a peaceful daily life, and are instead drawn to emotionally turbulent contexts which, although harmful, feel unconsciously recognizable. This is an automatic emotional regulation mechanism enacted by a nervous system that struggles to regain balance.
Many people feel shame about these behaviors and do not understand why they keep finding themselves in dynamics that cause them suffering. It is important to understand that these are neurobiological consequences of trauma.
From a clinical perspective, this means that trauma therapy cannot be limited to the cognitive processing of memories. It is also necessary to work on regulating the nervous system, helping the person tolerate more neutral emotional states—such as calm and safety—without perceiving them as threatening or empty.
Approaches such as sensorimotor therapy, EMDR, trauma-oriented mindfulness, and attachment-based therapies aim precisely to gradually rebuild the capacity to remain in the present without the need for extreme stimuli in order to feel alive.
Trauma is not just a painful memory; it is a profound transformation in the way the body and mind regulate emotions. The tendency to seek intense situations is not driven by a desire to suffer, but by an attempt to emerge from emotional numbness and regain a sense of existence”

Illustration by Gerard Du Bois

22/01/2026

At the core of our being, love is the thread that unites us all. Our deepest work is to remember this truth, to allow love to guide our thoughts, words, and actions. When we do, we experience the quiet, profound sense of connection that reminds us we are never truly separate. 🌟

May your heart today remember the unifying power of love. 🤍