Lean Meme Cuisine

14/04/2026

"Hey, has anyone seen my glass slab? It's about yea big"

*holds up glass slab*

13/04/2026

"Look me in the eyes and tell me why I'm browning."

-Apple Slices

13/04/2026

I've taken a lot of painkillers in my life that never kicked in. Maybe today they will.

11/04/2026

Maintaining kayfabe with my dog so my bird continues to attack him whenever he enters the room

05/04/2026

I'm Cynthia Erivo and this is Jackass! Today we're doing razorblade windtunnel!

01/04/2026

29/03/2026

Pi***ng on a bug that fell in the toilet. Taught me everything I needed to know about theology.

28/03/2026

Sometimes in life, there's mackened cheese. Want some?

28/03/2026

excuse me, I'll be enjoying this quick Delaware bathroom shootout just like anyone else 🙄

28/03/2026

Starting the fifth date off strong with another land acknowledgement

24/03/2026

Bloated bureaucracies may stay ONLY so long as they necessitate roles such as "Chief Guarantor of the Working Condition of His Magesterial Eminence's Cabinet-Case for Storage of Royal Curiosities, Rarities, and Ornaments not Currently in Use for Glimmans' Day Festivity Decoration" or "Nursery Toilet Jester"

20/03/2026

Life hack: If you drop an item on the ground and command your servant to pick it up, they will pick it up.