09/06/2024
Teenagers and young adults spend almost 70% less time socialising face-to-face than they did twenty years ago. Research consistently demonstrates that they are lonelier than ever and anxiety is the outgrowth of this phenomenon. Both boys and girls are being deeply shaped by the messages they receive about who they are and who they can be. Girls are bombarded by a highly s*xualised, self-as-image message. And some boys, in particular, are struggling with the consequences of having less in-person socialisation. Their social media cues emphasise being dominant, competitive and unemotional. They are being primed to reject their vulnerability, and as a result many of them hold their anxiety and sensitivity as frustration. Softer emotions are ‘weak’. These boys appear to have anger management issues, due to their intimidating, controlling and aggressive behaviour - particularly to family members and partners. They are also characteristically dependent and can regress to being quite needy and childlike when their unassailable armour inevitably stalls. They’re not angry, they’re terrified of their vulnerability. They are learning how to be ‘real’ men - not by hanging out with their friends and figuring out who they are…but by mysogynistic, toxic messages of masculinity shaped around themes of dominance and entitlement. And boys’ brains are particularly susceptible to screen addiction, hence more problems with academic engagement, attention issues, p**n addiction and explosive outbursts. More and more boys are getting into increasingly problematic situations with relationships, s*x and real-world motivation. Their self-perception and expectations are becoming more and more unrealistic. If you’re raising sons, limit screen use, encourage real-time friendships and teach them to have the courage to be vulnerable. Bronagh Starrs