28/05/2025
Words of Tamar Brosh - Helping Leaders Develop Emotional Intelligence
The Shame of Success and the Soul's invitation to Let Go
There's a quiet shame that doesn't come
from failure, but from rising to high, from
daring to become someone extraordinary
More than your parents dared or could
More than your environment predicted
Even more than your partner and friends
This shame is not loud. Its not even always
conscious. But it lives in the background of many high-achievers lives, particularly
those who've crossed socioeconomic,
cultural, or psychological thresholds their
families never touched.
You work your way up. You speak fluently
in the language of growth, impact and
abundance. You find yourself in rooms
your lineage wouldn't approve of. And
beneath the pride and satisfaction,
something aches.
It shows up in hesitation.
In the way you soften your truth. The way
you hide how far you've come or wrap it in
apologies, so others don't feel left behind.
It shows up in your difficulty celebrating
yourself. In the tension between wanting to
rise and fearing what it might cost you in
closeness, love, or belonging.
This is the residue of early contracts, the
unconscious psychological vows that said:
- "I'll succeed, ut not so much that I
threaten the fabric of connection."
- "I'll grow, but only within the limits of what
still feels familiar."
But the soul doesn't live by those contracts
The soul does not equate sameness with love
The soul knows
You're not betraying your roots by rising -
you're fulfilling them.
You don't owe your ancestors your smallness
You have your own path to take
You don't have to dim your light to stay
close - real love doesn't ask for that.
The sould carries everyone forward
But to live that way - to live soul-first-
requires a different kind of belonging.
Not the belonging rooted in familial and
social contracts.
No the kind that asks you to apologize for
who you've become,
But the kind that says:
- You are allowed to be whole.
- You are allowed to live beyond the
imagination of your upbringing.
- You are allowed to be both grateful for
your roots and devoted to your expansion.
Yes there may be moments of loneliness.
Times when no one from your past can
truly grasp the life you're living now.
But the soul doesn't need validation to
walk in truth - it only needs your
willingness to stop shrinking, and to rise,
aligned and unshaken.
So if you've felt shame around your
flourishing, pause, breathe, and listen.
The soul knows:
- You are not too much.
- You are not disloyal.
When you stop shrinking to be accepted,
you don't lose love, you remember that you
are love's source and give it in abundance
