Sandra Schmidt, Psychotherapy in Parenting & Relationships

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- Trauma informed compassionate inquiry practicioner ( working under the guidance of Dr Gabor Maté)
- HDip in Parenting & Relationships
- CI-Informed Su***de Attention Training 🌸

16/01/2026

An example of this might be:

A child is upset, crying, or melting down over something small.
You might feel the urge to say “You’re okay, calm down” or “It’s not a big deal.”

But what helps more is slowing yourself first.

Getting down to their level.
Softening your voice.
Saying something like:

“I’m here. I can see this feels really big for you.”

You don’t have to fix it.
You don’t have to make it stop.

Your calm presence does the work.

The child’s nervous system begins to settle because it’s picking up cues from yours, your tone, your breathing, your steadiness.

That’s co-regulation.

And over time, those moments become the child’s inner voice.
🌺

16/01/2026

The more I dive deeper into trauma, the body, and the nervous system — and what we often call maladaptive behaviours — the more in awe I am of what I see as our container: the body, brain, and nervous system.

When we experience trauma, the body prepares us to do whatever is needed to survive. The brain shifts into survival mode and activates different systems to protect us — sometimes by suppressing experiences and holding them as fragmented or unprocessed memories.

Our reactions are often unconscious. They’re shaped by sensory memories that get triggered and feel disconnected from the story we can tell about what happened.

Healing begins when we gently become aware of these sensory memories and slowly reconnect them with narrative memory.

Feel it, to heal it 🌸

— Bessel van der Kolk

Friday’s pocket of wisdom…Real change doesn’t happen if everything is left at the therapist’s door.What happens in the r...
16/01/2026

Friday’s pocket of wisdom

Real change doesn’t happen if everything is left at the therapist’s door.
What happens in the room matters, but so does what happens after you leave.

You can’t think your way around a dysregulated nervous system.
Just like you can’t ignore biology and expect your body to shift.

You get an hour of support.
The other 23 hours are where healing is gently practised, or slowly interrupted.

No blame…Just truth…❣️




14/01/2026

Gentle reflective


If shame had a voice,
whose tone would it carry?
A parent’s impatience?
A teacher’s dismissal?
A relationship where love felt conditional?

Not to blame.
Just to understand.🌺

14/01/2026

If it feels okay, you can finish the sentence below.
No explanations needed.
….

If it feels okay, you can finish the sentence below.No explanations needed.💥 “ I feel most on edge when…”…..
14/01/2026

If it feels okay, you can finish the sentence below.
No explanations needed.

💥 “ I feel most on edge when…”
…..

Wednesday’s pocket of wisdom ❣️THE JOY OF NOT BEING LIKEDSo much of our lives is unconsciously spent trying to control w...
14/01/2026

Wednesday’s pocket of wisdom ❣️

THE JOY OF NOT BEING LIKED

So much of our lives is unconsciously spent trying to control what others think of us - polishing our image, hiding our flaws, avoiding conflict, saying things we don’t mean and doing things we don’t want to do… just to be liked.

It’s exhausting. And it never works. People will think what they think of you, no matter what you do or say.

Rejection is an ancestral wound we all carry. No matter how kind, generous, or brilliant you are, someone will dislike you. Someone will judge you. Someone will dismiss your truth.

And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

That’s where your freedom begins!

Give up control. Accept the wound. Accept the rejection. It may seem unfair, but it’s universal. Let others dislike you. Let them misunderstand. Let them hold their harsh judgements. Let them speak badly of you.

Their thoughts are not your responsibility.

And still - live. Speak your truth. Love fully. Be messy, awkward, angry, joyful, anxious. Be everything you are. Be present with it all.

You don’t have to be calm. You don’t have to be agreeable. You don’t have to be liked.

Every time you allow someone not to like you and you still show up, you teach yourself something essential: I am safe. I am embodied. I am real. I am enough.

Rejection may sting. It may feel unfair. But every time you keep going despite the judgements of others, you are healing multiple lifetimes of self-suppression.

You are not here to be palatable.
You are here to be real.

- Jeff Foster 🌺






13/01/2026

Children don’t analyse our words.
They absorb them.

When we say
“I’m useless” or “I can’t do anything right,”
that voice doesn’t stop with us.

But when they hear,
“I’m tired, not useless.”
“I made a mistake, and that’s okay.”

Their inner voice learns to soften too.

So I’ll leave you with this,
When things go wrong, what or whose voice shows up first?
🌺

11/01/2026

Children don’t calm themselves.
They borrow calm first.

If this brings something up for you, you’re not doing it wrong.
Many adults were never co-regulated themselves.
We were asked to cope, behave, manage — without being held steady.

Parenting isn’t about staying calm all the time.
It’s about noticing when we’re not… and coming back.

Regulation is learned in relationship.
And repair matters more than perfection.🌺

10/01/2026

I see this so often.
Two people wanting connection,
but both in survival mode.

Slowing down is where repair actually begins.

09/01/2026

Example:
Someone asks something of you.
Your body tightens.
You want to say no.

What do you fear might happen if you do?

So you say yes.
You keep the connection.
You stay liked.

And quietly,
that’s where resentment starts to grow.

No one leaves.
But something in you does...
How does this land ? 🌺

09/01/2026

If this resonated, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It means your system learned to stay alert to loss.
To anticipate leaving before it happens.
To protect itself the only way it knew how.

Healing begins when we stop judging these patterns
and start understanding them.

💥 dies this resonate or wharves your experience?

Address

Killarney

Opening Hours

Monday 11am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 9pm
Saturday 9am - 2pm

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