Sandra Schmidt, Psychotherapy in Parenting & Relationships

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- Trauma informed compassionate inquiry practicioner ( working under the guidance of Dr Gabor Maté)
- HDip in Parenting & Relationships
- CI-Informed Su***de Attention Training 🌸

23/11/2025

An another evening with Uncle Gabor…
always a gentle pull back into compassion,
for ourselves, for the parts that cope through addiction,
and for the stories we carry in our bodies without even realising.

Every conversation deepens my CI practice.
Slowing down.
Listening underneath the words.
Meeting the wound, not the behaviour.

Grateful for these moments that remind me why this work matters…🌺

Better to fail following your own path
than to succeed walking someone else’s path 🌺

22/11/2025

For example,
you’re annoyed at someone and ready to fire off a text.
But you stop, just for a moment.
You drop your attention into your body and ask,
“What’s actually happening in me right now?”

You notice a tightness in your throat…
a heaviness behind the irritation.

You stay with that sensation for a breath.
No story.
No fixing.

That’s CI in action:
meeting the feeling beneath the reaction,
and letting the body speak first…🌺

What part of you is needing attention right now?

22/11/2025

It’s Saturday.
No clients.
No psychology.
Just me doing what I actually like.
A slow kitchen, a warm pan, and zero agenda.
Sometimes that’s the whole point isn’t? 🌺

21/11/2025

Silence feels safer in the moment.
You convince yourself you’re “keeping the peace,”
but really you’re swallowing things that never stop burning.

And that’s the thing about resentment:
it doesn’t scream at first.
It simmers.
Quiet. Heavy. Undeniable.
Until one day it’s strong enough to burn the whole thing down.

If you want real connection — with yourself or anyone else,
you have to be willing to speak the truth you’re afraid will change things.

Because staying silent changes things too.
Just not in the direction you want.🌺

💥 what’s your experience, What is the cost of staying silent?

20/11/2025

Cold evening outside, fire blazing inside,
and Molly stretched out without a care in the world.

Nothing fancy.
Just a cosy room, a quiet night,
and a dog who knows exactly where the best spot is.

Sometimes that’s all we need.🌺

20/11/2025

Co-parenting works when both adults can communicate without constant blow-ups. There’s enough trust and steadiness to make decisions together, and the child isn’t absorbing adult chaos.

Parallel parenting is for high-conflict dynamics.
Minimal contact, clear boundaries, separate routines.
It’s not a downgrade — it’s the safer option when cooperation isn’t possible.

Different tools for different situations.
Choose the one that protects the child’s nervous system, not the one that looks “ideal.”🌺

19/11/2025

When the adults stop trying to force a relationship that isn’t working, things often settle.
The air gets lighter.
The home gets calmer.
And the child feels it instantly.

Parents who aren’t together anymore can still raise emotionally healthy kids when they do a few simple things:

💥 They speak to each other like adults, not enemies.
💥 They keep the child out of the middle.
💥 They hold boundaries without blaming.
💥 They focus on what the child needs, not the old hurt.
💥 They make transitions predictable and safe.

You don’t have to be in love to co-parent well.
You just have to be willing to grow up, own your part, and create a stable rhythm for the child.

Please remember,
A separation doesn’t break a child.
But ongoing conflict does.

Two parents, calm and respectful in separate homes, will always be healthier than two adults trapped in a relationship that’s long gone.🌺

😊❤️😊❤️😊❤️

“Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:"Today we are going to make a picture.""Good!" thought the...
19/11/2025

“Once a little boy went to school.
One morning
The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make a picture."
"Good!" thought the little boy.
He liked to make all kinds;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats;
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.

But the teacher said, "Wait!"
"It is not time to begin!"
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
"Now," said the teacher,
"We are going to make flowers."
"Good!" thought the little boy,
He liked to make beautiful ones
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said "Wait!"
"And I will show you how."
And it was red, with a green stem.
"There," said the teacher,
"Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at his teacher's flower
Then he looked at his own flower.
He liked his flower better than the teacher's
But he did not say this.
He just turned his paper over,
And made a flower like the teacher's.
It was red, with a green stem.

On another day
The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make something with clay."
"Good!" thought the little boy;
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, "Wait!"
"It is not time to begin!"
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
"Now," said the teacher,
"We are going to make a dish."
"Good!" thought the little boy,
He liked to make dishes.
And he began to make some
That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said "Wait!"
"And I will show you how."
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
"There," said the teacher,
"Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at the teacher's dish;
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his better than the teacher's
But he did not say this.
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again
And made a dish like the teacher's.
It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon
The little boy learned to wait,
And to watch
And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn't make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved to another house,
In another city,
And the little boy
Had to go to another school.

The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make a picture."
"Good!" thought the little boy.
And he waited for the teacher
To tell what to do.
But the teacher didn't say anything.
She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy
She asked, "Don't you want to make a picture?"
"Yes," said the little boy.
"What are we going to make?"
"I don't know until you make it," said the teacher.
"How shall I make it?" asked the little boy.
"Why, anyway you like," said the teacher.
"And any color?" asked the little boy.
"Any color," said the teacher.
And he began to make a red flower with a green stem. “

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy 🌺

“We have a narrow definition of what constitutes being smart that leaves people out and wounds people’s sense of self.

We have elevated one type of brain at the expense of all the other representations of intelligence and flourishing.

Intelligence is not one thing, it’s many things. The problem is a set of institutional practices that reinforces the idea that difference is the problem. ”
-Jonathan Mooney

“Don't do things the way people are telling you to. Look at the way that you feel is the best. Your way may be better”

Mike Cammarata


18/11/2025

And if you’re in that place right now , weighing it up, questioning yourself, feeling torn in two, you are not weak. You are a parent trying to protect your children while also trying to protect yourself. That conflict alone can break a person open.

Take it slow. Get support. Tell the truth to yourself first.
There’s no medal for staying in pain, and no shame in choosing a healthier path.🌺

What story about love and safety do you want your children to carry into their own lives?



Your kids learn from how you live, not how you pretend.

17/11/2025

I’m a child from a separated home, so I know how it feels when the adults break apart and you’re trying to make sense of a world that suddenly shifts shape.

What helped wasn’t perfection.
It wasn’t long explanations or blaming or trying to prove who was right.

What helped was steadiness.
A calm tone.
A sense that the adults were holding the adult pain so I didn’t have to.
A reminder that I was loved by both parents, even if they couldn’t love each other anymore.

Kids don’t need you to be flawless.
They need you to stay present.
To keep the other parent human.
To let them feel what they feel without pulling them into the middle.

A few consistent routines.
A few honest sentences.
A few moments of real connection.

That’s what carries a child through separation, not perfection, but grounded, gentle care.

And I promise… children can come through it strong and whole when even one parent stays emotionally steady.

Never stay together for the children
Heal for the kids.
Co-parent with respect for the kids.
Choose honesty for the kids...🌺

16/11/2025

Bullying doesn’t end when the bullying stops.
It can show up years later as anxiety, low mood, feeling on edge, pulling back from people, or avoiding social situations. Some cope by withdrawing, others by numbing, and some by becoming aggressive to protect themselves.

How it can show up,
💥 Emotionally: sadness, fear, anxiety, low self-worth
💥 Socially: isolating, struggling to trust, avoiding groups
💥 Behaviourally: changes in sleep, appetite, or mood; risky or aggressive behaviour
💥 Physically: racing heart, sweating, tension, panic

Common coping patterns,
💥 Avoiding school or social spaces
💥 Turning the hurt inward
💥 Lashing out
💥 Using substances to cope
💥 Difficulty forming healthy, trusting relationships later in life

What we can do,
💥 Start by noticing where old fear is still running the show.
Then offer yourself small moments of safety, honesty, and connection, little by little, the body learns a new way.🌺

Address

Killarney

Opening Hours

Monday 11am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 9pm
Saturday 9am - 2pm

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