Harry's Butterfly: Ectopic & Pregnancy Loss Awareness

23/12/2025

Ten years ago, I was facing my first Christmas after an ectopic pregnancy.

On the outside, everything looked the same. Lights were up, plans were made, people were telling me to enjoy the season. On the inside, I felt completely disconnected. Lonely in a way I didn’t yet have the words for.

I remember the conflicting feelings so clearly. Grief sitting alongside moments of normality. Even joy, occasionally, which then brought a wave of guilt. How could I laugh at a joke, enjoy a meal, or feel festive for five minutes when my world had changed so profoundly?

What made it harder was not knowing that this was expected. No one had told me that grief can be messy, non linear, and full of contradictions. That you can miss what you lost and still smile at something silly on the telly. Not knowing that left me feeling isolated, like I was doing it wrong.

If this Christmas feels complicated for you, please know this. You are not failing at grief. You are not being disrespectful to your loss by having moments of lightness. And you are certainly not alone, even if it feels that way right now.

However you get through this season is enough. Truly.

Kerri x

31/03/2021

With a heavy heart 💔

💜🦋

14/03/2021

Thinking of you all today

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If you would like to join a dedicated Facebook support group that offers a safe space to talk and share one another's experiences the link is in my bio (on Instagram) or you can click the "join group" button at the top of the page (Facebook) xx

08/03/2021

💜🦋

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If you would like to join a dedicated Facebook support group that offers a safe space to talk and share one another's experiences the link is in my bio (on Instagram) or you can click the "join group" button at the top of the page (Facebook) xx

11/02/2021

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If you would like to join a dedicated Facebook support group that offers a safe space to talk and share one another's experiences the link is in my bio (on Instagram) or you can click the "join group" button at the top of the page (Facebook) xx

04/02/2021

Today marks which is an opportunity to start a conversation about mental health. Sadly, as many as 1 in 5 women who experience ectopic pregnancy display symptoms of post-traumatic stress at least nine months after the trauma. We believe that women should be able to access the care that they need and healthcare professionals be equipped with the resources needed to screen, diagnose, and provide treatment to those affected. We have information on our website about seeking counselling services including the importance of finding trained and qualified therapists and counsellors. If you are thinking about seeking professional therapy and would like to talk it through, our peer-to-peer support services are available as a friendly space. ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

02/02/2021

Four years today I posted this video.
A lot has happened between then and now, I’ve met so many people and heard countless stories of heartache. But I’ve also had the honour of seeing the happy endings, hearing about the strength of getting to a happier space, the process of grieving and healing.
I remember being so nervous to post this, but I’m so glad that I did 💜

26/01/2021

💜🦋



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If you would like to join a dedicated Facebook support group that offers a safe space to talk and share one another's experiences the link is in my bio (on Instagram) or you can click the "join group" button at the top of the page (Facebook) xx

22/01/2021

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More detailed information available at ectopic.org.uk/patients/what-is-an-ectopic-pregnancy/



********************************** If you would like to join a dedicated Facebook support group that offers a safe space to talk and share one another's experiences the link is in my bio (on Instagram) or you can click the "join group" button at the top of the page (Facebook) xx

19/01/2021

The Big Secret Surrounding Pregnancy Loss.
In society there is an unwritten 'rule' of sorts that when you discover you are pregnant, you are to keep it quiet until you pass the milestone of around 12 weeks. Sure it's not written in stone, but when you announce earlier you recognise the confused looks and the 'they are a little quick out of the gate' glances between others.

Once a pregnancy hits between 10-12 weeks the risk of a loss reduces quite drastically. So inadvertently this archaic protocol just tells the woman coming home from hospital with a broken heart and an empty womb that she should remain quiet. That it shouldn't be spoken about, that no one really want's to hear about it.

Announcing a loss to those around you is one of the hardest things that you can do. You feel vulnerable and scared, you are opening wounds and laying them out for others to see.
If you have not announced you were expecting you are left with two choices.

You announce your pregnancy and your loss at the same time. This leaves you stumbling on your words as you try to get to the loss part before someone breaks into a smile and congratulates you, leaving you feel guilty. You never got to celebrate the life that you were carrying, instead it was shrouded in secrecy.

The other choice is to say nothing. You suffer in silence and lead a double life, you tell people that you were unwell or away for a while. You daren't show your true feelings so you go through the motions with a fake smile on your face.

The one time that we are in need of support is the one time we feel abandoned by society. This needs to change, this unwritten rule of when and how women are allowed to announce a pregnancy has to be vetoed.

So when a friend or family member announce they are a few weeks pregnant, please celebrate with them. Because you don't know if that might be the only time that person gets the opportunity. And if they end up going through a loss then they will need you, they will need the support of someone who spent that first moment celebrating with them.

💜🦋

17/01/2021

It's Okay to feel many things at the same time.

31/12/2020

If you are thinking of making 2021 the year you make a difference then do consider the challenge.
I took part in 2017 and haven’t looked back since, and there’s a fantastic team already waiting to welcome you 💜

Whether your thoughts are turning to a New Year’s Resolution or are simply looking to be more active in 2021, we have just the inspiration for you! The EPT1000 Challenge is your goal, your way, covering either 1000 miles or kms over the year. You can choose to walk, run, cycle, swim, or any other way you can think of, and select a start date that suits you. Our Fundraising Coordinator, Jill, and our dedicated Facebook group are ready to welcome you. Sign up today: ectopic.org.uk/get-involved/fundraising/be-active/ept1000/