Ayelet Schwell - HealingHer Birth Services רפא נא לה

12/03/2023

We're heading into a holiday season and warmer weather. Often, that means getting together with family or friends, community meals and events, meeting other moms in the park. It may seem that everyone loves this season - and on one hand, so do you!

But on the other hand, part of you is dreading this season because you might have to hear people tell their birth stories, or because someone might ask the dreaded question, "so when are you having another one?!" and you just want to put your birth experience behind you because the memories it brings up are not joyful, they aren't powerful, and maybe they even are the reason you're not rushing on to having another baby.

I'm here to tell you that you deserve better and that healing those painful memories is absolutely possible. Imagine being able to think about your birth experience without wanting cry or scream or throw something at someone, or at least just forget about it.
Imagine being able to look ahead to the possibility of having another baby without paralysing fear, and maybe even with excitement.

Why is this even important? Why can't we just forget about that horrible experience and move on? After all, isn't the important part that we had the baby?

There are so many reasons, but I'm just going to bring a few from women who have gone through the Birthing Our Stories Workshop with me:

"I didn't want to feel this way about the way my baby came into the world"
"I tried to forget it, to tell myself that it wasn't so bad, but the memories still kept coming back"
"I don't want to pass these fears onto my children"
"I want to be able to have another baby, and I just can't imagine doing birth again"

The Birthing Our Stories Workshop is the #1 birth healing program designed to help moms who have negative or traumatic feelings about their birth experience to heal emotionally, reclaim their intuitive power, and even give birth again without fear, and maybe even with joy!

Here are some of the things women have said after the workshop:

"I feel, that this was the missing puzzle piece for me after 4,5 years of suffering and several therapies to be able not to cry anymore, when I am talking about the birth."
"I finally released trauma that I've been holding on to for 2 years!"
"I feel it also connect my husband and I in the experience"
"My mother noticed that I seemed happier and lighter playing with my child - I hadn't even realized I wasn't before."
"It gave me validation and a sense of being heard and understood without having to explain."
"When I came to the workshop, I was scared to death to give birth again, even though I wanted more kids. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but I'm actually excited to have another baby!"
"You can't change what happened, but now I know that you can change how you feel about your birth. After Birthing Our Stories, I can look back at my birth and actually feel positive."
"I can finally think about my baby's birth without crying!"

Maybe now is exactly the right time to finally give yourself the space to "birth" your story with the support, love, and healing that you deserve.

It's easy to find out if Birthing Our Stories is for you.
Just schedule a free, no-obligation call with me where I will help you find where you are on your own healing voyage and if Birthing Our Stories could be the next step for you.
https://calendly.com/ayeletschwell/bosinfo

How does it work? A Birthing Our Stories Workshop is a group healing program to process and heal from a difficult birth experience. Each group consists of only 3-4 women so that we can create a safe, intimate environment while harnessing the incredible healing power of sisterhood and connection to others like you. The program is 6 weekly sessions on Zoom or in person if location allows, the times are determined by each groups' availability.
Your investment for the entire program is only $250USD (850NIS)

Yes, I'm ready to find out if Birthing Our Stories can help me heal my feelings about my birth:
https://calendly.com/ayeletschwell/bosinfo

22/08/2021

MYTH:
"Pregnancy and birth are inherently dangerous and fraught with risks"
TRUTH:
"Pregnancy and birth is the physiological function of the mammalian reproductive system. It carries the same percent risks as any other bodily function."

"Pregnancy is risky"
"Birth is only normal in retrospect"
"Anything can go wrong in a birth at any moment"
"We just want to keep you and baby safe"

Are these familiar to you? Or was this post just an excuse for me to use the word "fraught"? (it's a cool word, though!)

In your maternity care, how did this belief affect the way you were treated, the medical/clinical protocols you experienced, the way you birthed, options available to you?

If you have a role in the pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum care field - how do you see these beliefs playing out in your work environment?

Can you imagine a world where we expected pregnancy and birth to be healthy human experiences?
Would that mean an end to medical technology or interventions? I, personally, don't think so. I think it would mean a more measured approach to using the amazing technology at our disposal, as opposed to routine use which serves a limited number of people and causes so much trauma for the majority of birth-givers.

What would that look like? Let's use this space to imagine better birth care together! We have to be able to imagine it if we ever want to create it.

19/08/2021

Here's what I know to be true...
Sharing our birth stories and truly listening to each other is a way forward to a better world.
So why the focus on traumatic births?

Those of us who's birth experience was less than ideal, we are the ones who recognize the need for change.
This isn't about natural birth vs. medical birth. It's about correcting the power imbalance in the birth room. It's about LISTENING to women's needs and desires, respecting their rights as humans, women, and growers of new life.

We, who have experienced traumatic birth - no matter what our original expectations - we are the ones who have the unique ability to see the holes in maternity and birth care.

You may think it's only you, you may ask yourself, "How did I let this happen?" or "Why does everyone else seem to give birth 'normally'?"
But you are actually in the majority. 70% of birth-givers describe their birth as traumatic, or say they felt unheard, neglected, violated, or worse.

The problem is, we aren't united. We blame ourselves and each other - or even the individual care provider who hurt us, instead of realizing that we have a common enemy - maternity care which places the care provider (doctor OR midwife) in the position of power over the person giving birth, instead of a supporter, nurturer, available resource.

We can change this by releasing the trauma that keeps us trapped in a victim mindset. Once you reclaim your power, you can demand better care.

Surround yourself by others who "get it". Who will hold you up, protect your right to grieve, lend you strength when you feel weak, and offer resources to not only heal your own story but to turn that healing into a way to bring light to the world. To make birth better for our daughters and our granddaughters and ultimately for all humans - as we all experience birth in order to arrive here on the planet.

Join the movement: The Birth Healing Circle on Facebook

15/08/2021

No one is immune to the possibility of birth trauma.

Not even birth professionals

I like to call us birth guides, others like birth keepers... whatever you call us, we are people who are supposed to know stuff about maternity care - right? We're the ones you're supposed to be able to rely on, the ones who can be your steady, stable support, your advocates...

After my 3rd birth, my traumatic birth, I didn't think I could continue attending births.

I blamed myself for not listening to my instincts that kept screaming at me about the red flags my midwife kept throwing down.
I blamed myself for not speaking up for myself during my labor.
I should have known better. I should have done better!
I'm a doula, for goodness sake!

Even looking at my own son triggered me.
I avoided the room where the birth pool had been.
I couldn't even hear the midwife's name without shuddering.

How could I ever go back into a birth room?
How could I ever trust myself to support someone else?
Would I ever heal enough that I wouldn't be bringing my trauma with me to someone else's birth?

So, hey, if you're not a birth professional - even if you did all the research, even if you hired the best support team, even if you knew exactly what you wanted - and you didn't have the birth you expected...
..if you're blaming yourself, if you're getting triggered by birth-related stuff that comes up in your life - whether it's daily or weekly or just every once in a while... Guess what?! YOU'RE NORMAL.
You're human.
Maybe a little bruised, or even a little broken.

That's why I am growing the Birth Trauma Healing Circle community.
It's a place you can come where we get it. Where you can be the amazing, powerful, smart, resilient person you know you are, and get the care and love and support you need while you heal those bruises, while you fill the cracks in your soul with love, respect, and resources for moving forward.

I hope you'll join us. Because women who heal their birth stories are the ones who will fight to make birth better - for all humans.

12/08/2021

Every single one of you on this voyage of healing is a Birth Healer, whether you are:
healing from your own birth experience,
attending others' births,
healing your secondary trauma as a witness to violence or abusive birth care,
a maternity care professional working to make birth better
When you heal your own story around birthing in any of those categories, you are a birth healer for yourself, for anyone who you converse with about birth from a place of healing and strength instead of trauma, and for all of our daughters, sisters, nieces, and all future generations of birth-givers.

Join the movement to , join the Birth Healing Circle on Facebook and invite other Birth Healers along too!

10/08/2021

Do we have to talk about trauma?!
Yes, yes we do.

If you haven't listened to or watched the My Sentiments Exactly show, you really need to go do that.
Our very own, Kayleon Dortch-Elliott, opens the way for people to talk about all kinds of thing that we'd all rather sweep under the rug and ignore.
But Kay is challenging her audience to address the hard, sometimes ugly truth so that we can make things better.

And that's why I was so honored to be featured on the My Sentiments Exactly show. We talked about birth trauma and healing, and why it's so important to have these discussions.
Kay opened up about her own birth and we got pretty emotional together, too.

I would love for you to check out my episode, but also the rest of Kay's show - you will thank me later, trust me!

https://go.healingher.net/1bl

https://go.healingher.net/4r5

05/08/2021

Secondary trauma, witness trauma... these are real things.

Doulas, birth guides, birth keepers - this is for you.

We are a vessel to hold the birth space for our clients. But what happens if we're broken? What happens if we're leaking triggers and traumatic feelings?

This is something I've been wanting to do for a while. Well, there's no time like the present - or in the immortal words of Hillel the Sage: If not now, when?

I'll be hosting FREE bi-monthly birth healing sessions for all birth attendants to process the experiences we have in the birth space.

We'll start next Thursday, June 17th at 7:00PM GMT (1pm EST, 10am PST)

You can register at https://ed.gr/dg83e, the link is also in my instagram bio.

In this safe, respectful, nonjudgmental space, you can be heard, process your experience, and get tools for releasing your trauma in the moment (or on your ride home when all you want to do is scream and ugly cry! I know, I've been there too.)

We can change birth together. That what you're here for, isn't it?

15/07/2021

13/06/2021

I absolutely love this picture of my kids! I love them so much!
But that doesn't stop them from driving me nuts sometimes...
Anyone else? Please share your stories so I know I'm not alone!

10/06/2021

Who here uses a meal planning app that they love?!
🍽️
I love cooking, love having fresh meals from whole food ingredients...
🍜
I really really do not like thinking about what to cook, throwing out rotting food from the back of the fridge that I forgot about...

That's why I love meal planning tools!
📝
I have been using Prep + Rally for a few months now and you guys, it is awesome!
It's saving me money and time, the recipes are simple to prepare and Dini's method of preparation is so intuitive for spending minimal time in the kitchen one day a week.

If you have a favorite, share it below!
If you're looking for a great meal planning app that takes care of all the thinking for you and lets you get fresh meals on the table every day of the week - try out Prep + Rally!

http://ed.gr/dgrg2

09/06/2021

Expectations vs. reality
💡
We all bring 3 things into our birth story before it happens:
💜 Expectations
💜 Identity
💜 Birth Culture

When your experience diverges from those three things, it can cause feelings of guilt, shame, shock, trauma, disconnection...
♻️
THAT'S REAL, MAMA!!
Let's talk about it!
✴️
What is one belief that you had before your first birth that changed after you actually gave birth?

08/06/2021

What's something you could talk about for hours without any preparation - for me, it's healing birth trauma. It's exposing the fact that strong, powerful, empowered women can also come out of their birth experience feeling mistreated, guilty, like they failed somehow, or just left with tons of questions of "why did this happen?"

So when Gunjani, a passionate psychologist focusing on postpartum mental health, invited me on her show, I was so grateful for the opportunity to spread this information, to let mothers know they are not alone and their birth experience and story matters!

I'd love for you to give it a listen and tell me what came up for you. Share it with a friend who had a traumatic birth. You can listen right here: https://ed.gr/dgreq

when we share our stories and process our experiences, we can make birth better for all humans!