25/06/2019
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, or cohabitation.
Domestic violence has many forms, the three predominant are - psychological, physical and s*xual abuse.
1. Psychological Abuse - The lesser complained, invisible to society and extremely dangerous is Psychological abuse.
I have met thousands of patients who have "secretly" deep in their mind have "accepted" this form of abuse as part of their "faith".
this includes -
emotional blackmailing,
controlling or dominating,
intimidation,
extreme suspiciousness,
stalking,
passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect),
and economic deprivation.
2. Physical Abuse - This is the poster boy of "domestic Violence"... It is the most visible form of abuse. Extremely Dangerous.
This includes -
physical aggression or assault like - hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects or threats
3. Sexual Abuse - This is another invisible to society abuse, which combines both psychological and physical abuse.
There are various forms of s*xual abuse -
a. marital r**e or s*xual in*******se without consent of partner.
b. making partner indulge in un-natural s*xual in*******se against his/her wish.
c. indulging in s*xual activity or s*xual experimentation which might involve more than one s*xual partner and its against partners consent. ( wife/husband swapping, group s*xual activity, involving commercial s*x workers along with partner, voyeurism, etc)
Does it only affect women?
No.
Domestic Violence is abuse of one partner against the other.
It can be either a man abusing a woman, or a woman abusing a man.
Unfortunately law and society only looks towards the cases where a woman has been abused.
Abused male are resorted to take care of themselves and mostly ill treated, laughed upon or neglected by society.
Harms of Domestic violence?
Physical harm, where even bruise marks, hurts, black eyes, and even severe things like paralysis and death are openly seen in hospitals and social setups.
The life-long harm is psychological include -
1. Post-traumatic Stress disorder - continuous repeated memories of the physical and psychological abuse doesn't leave the mind. This decreases over-all performance making a person obsessively entangled in those memories, always feeling fearful and angry.
2. nightmares or fears of re-living that situation - specially in cases of s*xual abuse.
3. trying to escape from the situation - escapism is commonly found in alcohol, smoking, extra-marital s*x, gambling, extreme religious involvement, extreme involvement in "astrologer and faith healers".
4. decreased interest in being happy and accepting "sadness" as "fate".
5. sadness and episodes of crying repeatedly present
6. feeling helpless, and repeatedly asking self and god “why this happened to me?, what did i do wrong?”
7. Reliving the past, blaming self and finding guilt for not making changes or decisions at right time...
Ego and fear make you think that you helpless to change or take those decisions now.
8. looking at others and feeling envy. how can they be so happy, and you be so sad?
9. self blame and self-hatred - telling yourself – its your karma and you deserve all this sadness, for some past life experience
10. not able to concentrate and feel you losing memory
11. excessive anger
12. s*xual extremes – either no desire for s*x or very high need for s*x.
13. suicidal thoughts or su***de attempts
14. avoiding social functions because of fear or physical injuries.
what to do when experiencing Psychological Harms of Domestic Violence?
Be it a man or woman, the psychological effects of domestic violence destroy your confidence.
Such individuals needs immediate professional care.
Consult a counselor in your area.
If you feel that time will heal, than BREAK YOUR ILLUSION!!!
Great majority of cases never heal, because the mind keeps playing those memories again and again.
Who to approach for help -
1. seek a good psychiatrist/psychologist. –
Its time to accept you are in the 21st century.. forget taboos and be bold.. seek help from good professionals.
You need to vent out your anger, sadness, resentment, all that negativity... and if you don't do that it will destroy you from inside.
2. Medications aren't the cure, they just help to calm those ghost memories... They are part of the cure... So you might just require them to calm yourself.. but not life-long.
3. start creating ways of increasing confidence, trust and love within yourself-
a. friends
b. family
c. doing things you like
d. doing something creative – singing, drawing, pottery, playing musical instrument, etc
e. meeting new people.
f. working
For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -
