The Mind Unchained Psychological Counselling

15/02/2024

When you say things like, "she made me do that, I didn't have a choice!" "you make me angry" "he makes me sad" you are just evading responsibility for your emotions and actions. No one ever makes you do anything. You choose your actions and feelings.

Even when a robber has a gun to your head asking for your wallet, you have a choice. If you give him your wallet, you have chosen life over money. If you resist, you have chosen money over life.

You always have a choice. Be responsible for your actions.

31/01/2024

Self help gurus and many life coaches swear by, "you are enough! you are awesome the way you are! don't change for anyone, be yourself!"

Have you ever wondered, what if you have toxic habits and behaviours? What if you are harming yourself and others around you from deep-seated limiting beliefs, insecurities and mal-adaptive childhood patterns that are nibbling at you and your relationships? What if a whole new life awaits beyond your "be yourself" comfort zone?

18/01/2024

Many people come to therapy to play the victim. Many YouTube coaches teach you to reinforce your victim mentality. People like to play the victim because they have the most power in that place. We can control people from that place, we don't have to look at our side of the street, we get sympathy and empathy from others. So we like to sit back and blame the other person. It's easy, especially in the generation of people who are wired towards instant gratification and lack willpower.

The role of a good therapist is to burst your bubble, even if that means we lose business. Some realize and come back to therapy, most don't.

28/12/2023

The idea that if you aren't happy it must be that you are surrounded by as****es, stuck in a bad job, stuck in a bad relationship, only perpetuates victim mentality. It makes you think you are a victim of this world and there is nothing you can do to escape.

Victim mentality makes you feel good for a short while. But eventually you become disempowered and fatalistic, leading to chronic unhappiness and irritability.

You are not surrounded by as****es. You have a distorted way of perceiving the world around you. Check if you are seeing the world through any "cognitive distortion."

You are not stuck in a bad job or relationship. You choose to stay in one because of some secondary gains or avoiding losses. Work out in a piece of paper the secondary gains or loss avoidance when you choose to stay stuck in the same place. And if staying in the comfort zone would cost you more or less in the long run.

01/12/2023