15/12/2025
Coercive control is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to dominate, intimidate, and entrap a partner (or ex-partner) in a relationship. It strips away autonomy, creates fear and dependence, and often escalates over time. Unlike isolated incidents, it's ongoing and purposeful, often subtle at first, making it hard to recognize.
Here are common signs of coercive control, drawn from expert sources like domestic abuse organizations:
Isolation from friends, family, or support networks (e.g., criticizing loved ones, discouraging contact, or creating conflicts to cut you off).
Monitoring and surveillance (e.g., constant checking of your phone, social media, location, or demanding to know your whereabouts at all times).
Financial control (e.g., restricting access to money, controlling spending, preventing work, or sabotaging employment).
Intimidation and threats (e.g., threats of harm to you, children, pets, or themselves; damaging property; or implied violence).
Emotional manipulation and degradation (e.g., gaslighting, constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, or making you doubt your sanity).
Controlling daily activities (e.g., dictating what you wear, eat, who you see, or regulating your routine like a "micromanager").
Jealousy and possessiveness (e.g., unfounded accusations of infidelity, extreme jealousy without cause).
Using children or co-parenting (e.g., undermining your parenting, manipulating custody, or threats involving kids).
Love bombing followed by devaluation (early intense affection to build dependence, then withdrawal or punishment).
Denying freedom or autonomy (e.g., preventing you from leaving the house, making decisions, or accessing transport/healthcare).
(or debates around "reactive defense")
