03/10/2015
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“While I usually do not pay heed to what people say, it is a bit annoying to be considered a special situation at most times. I don’t know why my staying at home to care for my daughter's well-being is such a social stigma; people just can’t get over it", says Neeraj, the dad who chose to stay at home.
Neeraj and Sakshi were workaholics, focused and committed to their successful corporate careers when they decided to get married. But when the time came for them to start a family, they weren’t able to conceive at first. "What is the drama? If you have an issue, you seek medical intervention. We were very clear that we needed to see a doctor and we saw one." They found that their stressful life prevented them from conceiving. This also coincided with a period of high professional turmoil in Sakshi's life. So she decided to quit and within a month she was pregnant.
Motherhood came with all its bliss but Sakshi missed working. "I had ants in my pants, I so wanted to get back to what I was good at." Neeraj was on board as well. He was willing to take a sabbatical for their 2 year old daughter so Sakshi could get back to work.
But the journey back was not easy. Sakshi was committed to her career and yet people were willing to discard years of experience simply because she was a working mother. Suddenly, there were doubts on her capability and most organizations were astonished that she was not thrilled about being allowed to just return to work – even if that was with a significant discount to the experience she brought. "Are you sure you want to come back? If you do then take up whatever you get as soon as you can" her ex-boss told her.
Niraj also faced the music on many occasions simply for choosing a different path. "It was ok for my friends who ran their own businesses to almost do nothing – but not participate at home, but my decision to take a break for my daughter was the subject of ridicule. What do fathers know about raising a girl, they asked me. Let me tell you a whole lot!"
Today Sakshi is the director at a leading MNC. She pushed forward in difficult times and never gave up her desire to get back to what she loves. Niraj too, is planning to reignite his business as their daughter gets ready for longer school hours.
Both of them want to raise their daughter in a more equitable world where it is ok for mothers to work and for fathers to raise them. Never once have they regretted their decision.
"Where is the question of guilt when you make rational decisions and stick to them?"
Can you and your partner make a bold choice?
