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Counseling Intervention for Young Individuals Birds fly, fish swim and children play. Stapoo aims at making young individual emotionally healthy.

This famous quote by Dr. Gary Landreth, inspired me to create ‘STAPOO’, a place where children, adolescents, parents & teachers get an opportunity to connect with their inner child. ‘Play’, the natural medium of communication, which encourages a reciprocal conversation, is the philosophy of this organization. We act as a connecting link between Parents, Educators and Young individuals. All interventions and therapies are play based. We provide a mental floss and help young individuals have a strong resilient belief system for life.

11/10/2025

There is a difference between disciplining children & teaching them to tolerate humiliation, disrespect & abusive culture!

10/10/2025

It is not about the number of hours you spend with your children. It is all about what all you feed in the mental framework of your children that matters!

05/10/2025

Children always keep it simple!

03/10/2025

The academic accommodations, reducing the sensory overload, providing reading assistance, giving a disability friendly infrastructure..... All of this is secondary. The primary need of any child in a classroom is to be treated with the same respect & love, the way other children in the class are treated. Because, when the child steps out of the school at 18, he knows he was loved. Most of us struggle to receive this love and acceptance in schools and at homes and then spend the rest of our lives, improving ourselves, proving our worth and in search for this acceptance and so many of us end up isolating ourselves.

21/09/2025

Make a list of things that you would do if you didn't have the fear that you are carrying for days, weeks, months & years?

The only thing you have to let go is your fear and not your dreams...

This simple exercise will build a relationship of joy with yourself.

Try it!

20/09/2025

Parents & teachers give very confused messages to children. They hit the child for their good & because the child has hurt them. But, if the child does the same with their peers, the child is labeled as violent & aggressive. The stifling & shrinking of a child's personality start with these confused messages. The most heartwrenching thing is that the child continues to love their parents in the hope of love, stability & acceptance from them.

25/08/2025

Love, curiosity & s*xual assault amongst teenagers

In the times of dating apps, online chats and po*******hy, teenagers are more lost than ever. Where some are depleting their self-worth in endless and tiring search for love, the others are developing a mindset of lack and rushing into addictions to p**n & ma********on to quench their s*xual gratification. In this pattern of desperation and helplessness some teenagers are becoming s*xually active and even s*xually violent.

Wake up dear Parents & Educators(School)!
Teens need s*x education and not the Internet!

18/08/2025

Following is a story of a hurtful child and a mother spiraling in guilt. Talking about the problem is not only venting it out but it also gives us awareness of what is happening to us and what we can do to release it and prevent it from happening in the future. Therefore, parent-child counseling sessions are important as it makes both parties look at things from each other's perspective and not living in a biased reality. Here comes the narratives -

“Ma’am, my mother slapped me when I had a high fever”, said a fourteen-year-old boy in his counseling session. How many of you judged the mother just by reading this statement?

The mother was also a part of this session and she in her defense explained that “I am alone here in Delhi. My husband is working out of town and I have another girl child with a disability to take care of and then I get phone calls from his school asking me to pick him up from the school because he has fallen sick. It is so difficult to first clean her up, settle her down and then to decide whether or not to leave her alone at home or take her along with me to his school. I wish the school could keep him in the infirmary and treat him there and send him back home on the bus”.

“But how can she be angry at me that too when I am unwell”, asked the boy.

What do you think, why did the mother behave the way she did –

1. Anger – An act of punishing the child for falling sick?

2. Anxiety- A feeling of seeing things slipping out of hands and the entire day/week going haywire?

3. Impulsivity – A sudden rush of emotional outburst poured on to the child?

4. Displacement of frustration – A feeling of frustration towards the spouse for managing everything single handedly being displaced on to the son?

5. Displacement of expectations – Expecting her older son to play the role of a spouse/partner/helper?

The conclusion of the session brought calmness to both the mother and the child when they realized it was anxiety and not anger. The mother came out of her guilt and took corrective action. The son came out of the hurt as he saw it was not a punishment but an anxiety reaction. She could crop her defenses and didn’t justify her action once she apologized to her. She became aware of her anxiety and started to work on it. They became even stronger as a team. However, she continues to feel anxious and most of her anxiety stems from her own judgement of herself as a mother and judgment of others. Many mothers carry this feeling of a failed mother and bring out their frustration on their children.

13/08/2025

Victim vs Victim Mentality

I read a quote somewhere which says “Stay away from people who act like a victim in a problem they created”. This inspired me to talk about victims and people with a victim mentality. The key difference is in their sense of accountability.

Many people think that those who visit a psychologist for therapy are having a victim mentality. This is not true. Following lines explain the difference between a person who is a victim and the one with a victim mentality.

A victim is someone who faces adversities and takes responsibility to overcome the damage. They even take responsibility for their specific actions which could have led to the occurrence of that mishap so that they can avoid behaving like this in the future and prevent themselves and others from any negative consequences. Victims are not weak. The trauma which they faced makes them vulnerable and weak. They work on themselves and bring their strength back “over time”. Victims take smaller steps, sometimes reach a plateau in their healing process, experience a dip and a spike again. Their rehabilitation journey is a process and not a quick pill. A victim would muster the courage to get back to life, will wear a smile and try to start with a routine.

A person with a victim mentality will never take the responsibility of their own actions. They would often put the blame on others or circumstances for their wrong doings. They will cry and express how sorrowful the situation is but they will never take any action to rectify it because again they blame their circumstances. Even if they take any remedial action, they portray how everything is now perfect and sorted in a blink of a moment. This is because they don’t want anyone to blame them for what they did. They want everyone to agree with them and move on in life. This is a classic way of brushing things under the carpet without bringing any significant change in themselves or the situation. A person with a victim mentality would wear sadness without having to bring any changes in their regular comfortable routine or themselves.

Therapy is not a quick pill. People who visit a therapist are going through a process of healing. If they had a victim mentality, they would not be persistent in their actions of healing. The ones with a victim mentality, when they reach for therapy, they learn to face their fears of negative judgment and fear of abandonment for being a so-called ‘bad person’. This motivates them to love themselves, take responsibility for their own actions, empathize with others, overcome their insecurities and bring an overall positive change in themselves & the situation.

11/08/2025

Why are children losing meaning in life?
Thomas A. Harris, a famous psychiatrist, in his book ‘I am Okay, You are Okay’ talks about how the process of civilization can make a growing individual feel ‘Not Okay’ about oneself. As a new person, born on this planet, in a society, we learn what to do and what is unexpected. The different mistakes we make and the pressure of abiding by the rules for social acceptance can make us feel ‘Not Okay’ about ourselves. In order to cope with this ‘Not Okay’ feeling, a person starts to play two games at an unconscious level – ‘Climbing Mountains’ and ‘Mine is better’. We often witness these two games in our everyday life where we see ourselves chasing for more and better in life or comparing ourselves to others.

I often come across children & teenagers who have every possible materialistic comfort in their life, they are doing well in academics also and many of them even have a good social circle too, yet they struggle in feeling contented in life. This is why they come to me for therapy. In the games of who is better they are climbing endless mountains and losing the purpose and meaning in life.

Children and parents are losing focus in order to become & do something bigger than the other. Children are attending numerous co-curricular classes and unable to find one thing that can give them fulfillment.

Children & Teenagers are discounting the everyday contributions they make in the lives of others, they often begin to feel they are not doing enough. Either they are compared or they compare themselves to the others, the social media race and the chase is constantly making children feel they are not good enough and they need to do more, something extraordinary to gain recognition and meaning in life. They pick on short term projects about a social cause and the motivation to do something for the cause dies soon because the intent is not to contribute, it is to count the contribution.

The feeling of incompleteness of a task or doing something for the namesake leaves the youngsters with a hollow feeling. They don’t feel proud of what they did. Many of them feel that they received an undeserving reward and many land up feeling empty as they never felt connected to the cause they worked for.

How much have I contributed is the wrong question if you want to know the purpose in life? What I am contributing to is more essential to feel connected with the inner voice & the outside world.

Are we building resumes or characters? This is one question that parents and teachers need to ask before they push their children to do something. The international boards, today, expect children to engage in activities with the motive of recording it in their portfolios.

Meaning to life comes from everyday contributions – creating a sense of belongingness, embracing our own stories, knowing how I want to contribute to the world around me.

10/08/2025

What does it mean to raise Resilient Children?

1. When we as parents or teachers let the child struggle and let him find his own way out of the situation?

2. When we scare the child about his failed future & push him to become a rebel to the system?

3. When we isolate the child & give cold treatment, believing that this suffering will teach him a lesson?

4. When we accept the situation, support the child by providing a suitable environment so that the child adapts to the challenging situation and then grows out of it?

Pushing the child in the pool need not always make him strong.

Showing faith, accepting failure as a part of learning & providing support need not always mean putting your child on crutches.

Think about it - Are you raising fearful children or making them resilient?

19/07/2025

An emotionally available parent is someone who:

1. Is present and attentive to their child's emotional needs.
2. Listens actively and validates their child's feelings.
3. Provides comfort, support, and guidance.
4. Encourages open communication and expression of emotions.
5. Models healthy emotional regulation themselves.

Emotionally available parents help their children develop:

1. Emotional intelligence
2. Self-awareness
3. Self-regulation
4. Resilience
5. Healthy relationships

This parenting style fosters a strong, secure attachment between parent and child, promoting overall well-being and development.

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New Delhi

Website

http://www.stapoo.in/

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