14/04/2022
I see you crouched down against the wall with your knees to your chest and your eyes red and swollen. I hear you. I hear your cries of frustration, your filtered screams for help through your gritted teeth.
know how warm your cheeks are right now. I know how fast your heart is beating and how the pain in your chest is literally too much to carry another day. I know.
I know that right now it never feels like it will get better. I know that makes you feel guilty, right? I mean, so many other parents deal with so much more. I know you are so tired of feeling like you should be stronger.
I know you don’t think you are doing enough for your child and yet you are sick and tired of the therapy sessions and the doctors appointments. I know right now you want to give it all up. You want your kid to be “normal.” You want a redo. Your brain hurts just thinking about all the places you have to be tomorrow, you just want to give up.
Mama, I know you hurt. I know how alone and tired you feel. I know, because I’ve been there. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get out of “there”. I have uttered the words “it’s not fair” more times than I can count and honestly, more times than I want to admit. I have screamed at the top of the lungs sounds that would make a lion scared in hopes that somewhere, someone would save me.You are stronger than you even realize you are. You are already doing it. You are taking time for yourself, even if its just a short breather to turn off your mind and read something familiar. You are doing it. You are one strong mama! Now, its time to turn the corner and brush it off and get back up.
I’ve sat outside my child’s door and cried enough tears to fill a lake. I’ve hit my head against his door as he hits the other side more times than any parent should ever have to do.
