Dr Ruchika - Skin and laser clinic

03/06/2022

How Forgiveness Works
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things in the world. Imagine yourself holding your breath. How long can you do it? A minute or two? When we hold painful emotions towards others, it can feel very much like holding your breath for a long time - it takes a toll on you, and sometimes on people around you.

To forgive is to release or let go of pain, blame, anger, or even hate. Simultaneously, when we forgive or let go, we make room for ourselves to feel other emotions such as grief, loss, relief, or joy.

Here are some steps to learn how to forgive, based on Dr. Robert Enright’s pioneering work:
1. Uncovering Stage: What happened to you
The first step towards forgiving someone is to face the questions of who wronged us, where we were at the time, noting the feelings that come up, and so on in full honesty. At this point, counseling may help to resolve unspoken layers of emotion.

2. Decision Stage: Making a Choice
Here, we make the conscious decision to commit to forgiving our wrongdoer. We are taking control and saying we want to let go of the past, and begin to explore the forgiveness route.

3. The Tough Part: Acting on our Choices
Next, we need to take concrete steps to start the process of forgiving someone. These include:
-Understanding the reasons why the person hurt you
-Trying to think of alternative coping methods, other than blame
- Learning new ways of thinking about the hurtful period or the person who offended you

4. Depth of Understanding and Relief
Finally, we begin to see the positive impact of forgiveness in our lives and begin to live our new reality, with reduced hurt, pain, resentment, or anger.

Forgiveness takes time and practice and does not mean we begin to trust, forget or reconcile with the actions of someone. It can mean giving a generous gift of friendship or acceptance to someone and receiving peace in return.

For more on forgiveness and mental health,
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29/05/2022

Thinking Errors Part 6: Emotional Reasoning
May 2022 is Mental Health Month and we're onto the sixth thinking error, emotional reasoning.

Emotional Reasoning thinking error occurs when you believe that your emotions are facts. For instance,
"I'm feeling scared. This means something scary is happening or about to happen!" or
"I'm feeling guilty. That means I have done something wrong," or
"I'm angry that means I have been wronged by someone."

What are the consequences of Emotional Reasoning?
Emotional reasoning can create problems in our life because our feelings are not always facts:
-Sometimes we are anxious but nothing bad is about to happen.
-We mistakenly feel guilty despite doing nothing wrong.
-Emotional reasoning can also make us blame ourselves without solid reasons.
-It can make us critical of others because we believe if we are angry, someone has made us angry so we direct our anger at others.
-We may delay or procrastinate work because we believe the fear or anxiety that comes before a task.
Essentially, giving in to our feelings creates an emotional reasoning error.

The Remedies to Preventing emotional Reasoning

1. Feelings are not Facts
Remembering this simple rule can help you differentiate between feelings and actual facts. If you're feeling anxious, that does not mean a mishap is on the way. Anxiety is just a feeling and is separate from the actual event which may turn out to be absolutely okay.

2. Determine the Data
Everything we think, hear, feel, or say is rarely true. When we are getting carried away by emotions, it can help to look for evidence around us to check if something makes sense. For example, if you're feeling scared of giving a presentation at work, and thinking that it is because presentations are scary, try to think about all the countless times you've given presentations. How many times did you actually slip up? Is the audience very harsh, or do you think they will ignore a minor mistake or two? Just because you're scared, doesn't mean a situation is scary or dangerous.

3. Take a Time-Out
When emotions run high, it becomes difficult to separate feelings from facts and to take sensible decisions. Taking a little break reduces the intensity of emotions, and gives you time to act according to logic rather than a high-intensity emotion that may not be true.

For more on thinking errors,
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10/05/2022

Thinking Errors #2: Catastrophizing
May 2022 is Mental Health Month and a good time to correct any thinking errors we might be falling prey to. One such error is 'catastrophizing.'

In the movie 'Chicken Little,' a young chicken was constantly fearful of hearing any sound because he was convinced of a catastrophe - the sky was about to fall! When we blow things out of proportion or make any incident feel like a HUGE problem, we may be catastrophizing or making a thinking error.

1. Compare your Problems
One remedy to catastrophizing could be trying to compare the current problem with other problems you've experienced in the past. Then check if the current problem is actually a MAJOR problem or medium or minor one, compared to past problems. This helps to get a sense of the size of the issue you're facing.

2. Evaluate your Coping Skills
Think of how you've coped with problems in the past. Make a list of the skills you used - such as calling a friend, researching on the net, meeting a therapist, taking advice from family, etc. Check if you can use those solutions to deal with your current problem. Your current problem may feel like a manageable event then, and less like a GIANT disaster.

3. Describe Differently
Use softer language to describe a problem. For example, a life-changing crisis may be also described in softer language as 'a turning point.'
P.S. Feel free to disagree with anything I’ve said, I’m only one person in the world!

For more on thinking errors and mental health,
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05/05/2022

May 2022 is Mental Health Awareness Month so why not increase our awareness of thinking errors or cognitive distortions?
These thinking errors in our thoughts make us feel depressed, sad, or upset.
Thinking Error #1 This or That Thinking, with no room for middle-of-the-road thoughts!

Sometimes we think in extremes, either we are always happy or never happy.

For instance, we may say sometimes that "This ALWAYS happens to me!" or "I'm NEVER going to be successful."

This thinking error makes us feel upset or unhappy life is rarely one extreme thing or another, it is usually a series of different average things - For instance, you may be very successful at math, but average in art. You may cook biryani very well but make averagely yummy coffee! So are you intelligent all the time? Or a bad cook always?

The answer lies in thinking in averages, or gray zones without tilting to extremes, which make you feel negative. If you say you are always a bad cook, you are not thinking of all the things you cook well, and all the things you cook averagely well too!

Everyone has excellent, good, average, above average, or maybe even weak areas, and that is a good perspective to start from, rather than this or that, and nothing in-between!

For more perspectives and awareness, you can reach out
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03/05/2022

21/04/2022

Feeling anxious?

Here are some tips to help you through it, and find relief.



www.meerutdentalandpsychologyclinic.in

29/03/2022

Oscar Wilde's Best Quotes!

We’ve all heard of Oscar Wilde or probably read one of his works at school. Some of his enormously famous books include The Picture of Dorian Gray, the comical The Importance of Being Ernest. Born in 1854 in Dublin, Ireland, he was famous for his wit and style. His quotes are quirky, filled with interesting themes such as friendship, love, and life.

I hope you enjoy reading a small compilation of them!
1. "True friends stab you in the front."
This one made me smile!

2. "The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
This one is food for thought when we are quick to judge others!

3. "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
I wish we could learn this one sooner!

4. "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
I know, right?

5. "The truth is rarely pure and never simple."
We sometimes look at things as black and white, that is rarely the case though...

6. "Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character."
Atomic habits as James Clear would say, can make or break character.

7. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
Ha, ha! Evil grin!!

8. “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.”
This one’s for the soul...

9. “They’ve promised that dreams can come true, but forget to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.”
This one goes to the dark side, but there’s truth in it.

10. "We live in an age where unnecessary things are our only necessities.”
Surprisingly, this quote is from Wilde’s book published in 1891 - and holds true to this day!

For more on books, reading, and mental health,
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21/03/2022

Myths of Therapy/ Psychological Counselling
Therapy is riddled with myths that can become a barrier to seeking help. Take a look at some myths related to counselling and therapy:

1. Therapy is for the Weak Ones
Myth!
Therapy is for EVERYONE. The only criteria for therapy or psychological counselling is a desire to work on your issues. That’s all.

2. Therapy is just talking and talking
Myth!
Therapy involves a lot more than talking. A person explores thoughts, discusses uncomfortable issues, and actively solves distorted ways of thinking through practice and tools.

3. Therapy is only for mentally ill persons
Myth!
We can seek counselling and therapy to either increase well-being, or for relief from mental illness. You don’t have to be ‘mentally sick’ to opt for counselling. Maybe you just want a non-judgmental person to listen and help with your problems, or anything else on your mind.

4. Medication is better than therapy
Myth!
There’s no better or worse for medication or therapy. Depending on the case, therapy can work alone, or with medications.

5. Therapy is a costly and slow process
Myth!
Therapy moves at the pace of the patient or client. If motivation to improve is high, therapy can move very fast, with excellent results. Further, therapy definitely costs money, but the endpoint is the value you assign to your mental wellness. Unhappiness can be expensive too!

6. All therapists operate the same way
Myth!
Every therapist has a distinct style of working. It helps to find one who you feel connected and safe with. A good index would be about two to three sessions - if you are feeling understood by then, you may have picked the right therapist. If not, you can look for another one without guilt. Put your needs first.

P.S. Feel free to disagree with anything I’ve said, I’m only one person in the world!

For more on myths related to therapy and mental health,
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07/03/2022

Top Five Inspirational words that do not have an English word for them!
English cannot express all the feelings in the world. Here are the top five inspirational words from languages around the world, take a look!

1. Wabi-sabi
A Japanese word that is far more than a mere word. It is a Japanese concept of embracing imperfection, such as a tear on a cloth. It is also defined as an appreciation of flawed beauty or imperfection. If we had more wabi-sabi in our life, we would be more content!

2. Jijivisha
What if you wanted to live really long? That would mean you have a zest for your life and wish to make it as productive as you can. Jijivisha is a Hindi word that means exactly that, a strong desire to live and make the best of your life. A little more jijivsha, a lot more productivity.

3. Fargin
Fargin is a Yiddish word that means ‘not to grudge another’s happiness,’ or to be joyful in another’s happiness. Such a rare quality! If we build the ability to fargin, imagine how peaceful we would feel, without jealousy or resentment!

4. Ailyak
Ailyak is a Bulgarian word with no English equivalent It implies living calmly and savoring life’s moments. The folks of Bulgaria take long, peaceful walks, and live with a good deal of ailyak. A touch of ailyak could go a long way in calming our restless minds!

5. Lagom
The Swedish created this one. Lagom is a word as well as the philosophy of living with balance and in moderation. It is the concept of the middle path, with just the right amount of everything - isn’t that the key to peaceful living?

P.S. Feel free to disagree with anything I’ve said, I’m only one person in the world!

For more on inspiring words and mental health,
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words

28/02/2022

Do you think therapy can bring about change in someone who doesn't want to be helped?

Let me know in the comments!




www.meerutdentalandpsychologyclinic.in

20/02/2022

A singularly important message for modern times.

Be Careful what you Laugh At!

I turned on my TV to see a comedy show airing at night. It was fun off and on but some jokes did not sound quite right. Comedy is a powerful medium to bring social or political issues to light, to relax, poke fun at the world - but what it’s not is a way for all of us to remain stuck in old or redundant views. I decided that my attention is precious and I’m going to scroll away from comedy shows that are on these lines:

1. When comedy stereotypes women
Why are we still watching shows that talk about women going shopping all the time, watching drama tearfully on the telly, or being in love with cleaning their homes? There are all types of women in the world with a million different hobbies and lifestyles - such a simple fact. We need to expect more from what comedy is providing us right now.

2. Jokes about differently-abled persons
Does anything need to be said about this? Poking fun at a special person’s abilities or appearance is not only insensitive by the comedian, but it also shows how far behind we are as an audience to laugh at what is being presented to us. We know better, don’t we?

3. Binary Jokes
Humor that says that anything different from binary is to be laughed at. The more we laugh at queer-aimed jokes, the more we push persons struggling with their identity back into their shells. We’re better than that, aren’t we?

4. Jokes on how our little girls are so nice, while boys so difficult
Think about all the little girls you know - are they all nice, non-demanding, and flower-like? Now think about the little boys - are they all running wild, bad-mannered, and rude? The more we accept such humor, the more we draw boundaries around our children and prevent them from being who they need to be. We’re better parents than that!

5. Jokes that make our children feel it’s okay to laugh at, rather than with, others
Our children observe what we laugh at. It’s a way that they get a sense of right and wrong. Bullying and teasing in schools may even be related to it. Choose your comedy carefully, if you’re a parent.

We have a minimum of 5 OTT or cable channels to choose from every minute. We also have at least fifty series/shows to choose from within those channels. All those choices, all for us. Does that mean our attention must be special if so many channels want it? Why not be careful what you give your precious time to? Demand more from comedy, make your time and attention very precious, and finally give yourself more respect than comedy wants you to give.

P.S. Feel free to disagree with anything I’ve said, I’m only one person in the world!

For more on respectful comedy and laughs,
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16/02/2022

Bappi Lahiri passed away today...the disco legend has influenced music for countless years. He is probably a musical genius that the generations X, Y, and Z have heard of - a unifier of the masses in a way!

1. A prodigy who wasn’t afraid of hard work
Bappi Lahiri hailed from a talented family of singers, and his mamaji (uncle) was the famous Kishore Kumar. However, Bappi Lahiri worked hard for his success, and continued delivering hits long after any influence of his family remained. Considering that his career took off in the 70s, and his last recorded song was for Baaghi 3 in 2020, Lahiri wasn’t one to rest on his laurels. He drove his career with relentless hard work and passion, almost to the very end.

2. A Tale of Evolution
Bappi Lahiri’s career took off when he sang for ‘Zakhmee,’ released in 1975, and went on singing and composing for over four decades after. He was constantly evolving his music to suit different eras, composers, and trends. He did not hesitate to re-work his songs to create a new sound for them. Evolution was the key to his longevity in music, and is a lesson for all of us who wish to have long-spanning careers like his!

3. Bling is King
Everyone knew of Lahiri’s passion for gold. He wore gold chains and rings and revelled in his enjoyment for them. Very often, the media would gently poke fun at his gold obsession, but Bappi da knew what he liked, flaunted his glitter, and was not ashamed to remain authentically himself.

4. A Life of Gratitude and Joy
Bappi attributed his astounding success in music to the Almighty, his luck, and the opportunity to sing with talented singers such as Lata Mangeshkar, and with actors and directors spanning across generations. His songs were typically upbeat and packed with his zest for music.

5. “Everyone Has Dreams”
Above all, Lahiri was a dreamer. He shot high into the sky fearlessly and is one of the singers who has collaborated with countless contemporary singers in India and abroad (Akon, Vishal-Shekhar, Lady Gaga) has had his music featured in Hollywood movies (Lion, Zohan), composed music for Hindi, Kannada, Tamil, and Telugu films, and even worked as a dubbing artist (Moana, Kingsman 2). He was originally a Bengali artist, but his music crossed national and international boundaries - because he dared to dream.

Is baar intezaar ki hadh ho jayegi...we bid adieu to Bappi Lahiri

For more on music for the soul,
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13/02/2022

Mood Tracking - 5 Easy to Use Apps to track your mood every day!

Our mood changes every day, sometimes even every hour! Moods are closely linked to our mental health and are based on the thoughts running through our minds.

How can a mood tracking app help you?
It’s an app that tracks your mood. Here’s how that benefits you:
o Like any other health parameter, like blood pressure or sugar levels, moods are a measurable way to check on your mental health.
o Mood-tracking shows patterns in your moods, such as certain times of day when you are most sad, or times when you become angry.
o The patterns you identify can be used to create a mental health treatment plan that suits you perfectly.
o Mood-tracking provides you and your therapist with valuable information to help you.
Look at 5 Easy-to-use mood-tracking apps!
1. Bearable
Pros
o Has an e-journal format
o Has a cool gratitude section as well
o Has detailed sections that give a well-rounded review of mood
o Has a free version
Cons:
o Has a lot of different sections, that can take a bit of time to master

2. Daylio
Pros
o Uses only 5 emojis to record your mood, so it is pretty easy to use
o You can add extra ‘labels’ or sections to along with the mood
o Beautiful app design
o Free to use
Cons
o Detailed feedback on the links between your mood and other events/labels is not possible

3. MoodKit
Pros
o Is developed by psychologists
o Feels like a mini-therapy session
o Has four scientific sections - activities, thoughts, journal, and mood tracker
Cons
o Not free to use
o Has a lot of scientific concepts, can feel difficult

4. Chiku
Pros
o Multi-function app - can be used to track moods, journal, manage photographs, and read quotes.
o Has a free version
Cons
o Some features are only available in the premium version

5. Worry Watch
Pros
o Doesn’t need internet connectivity
o Logs details of worry-causing events in your life
o Draws up a chart of your inputs, so you can easily see the days and times you were stressed out
Cons
o Limited tools and features
o Not a free app

Happy mood-tracking!

If you want to track your mood further, I exist simultaneously at
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