16/11/2021
We long to become not me through addictions like drugs, food, s*x, religions, and therapy. But we have never met anyone who became not him. The only choice left is to take life and ourselves as we are, here and now.
Strangely, in our rush to find rest, calm, and home, we run from the only home we ever have, the home that is always here, the home that never has left us: our inner life in this moment
Who are we? We are people who fantasize about becoming special, future versions of somebody else. We are people who reject ourselves as we are here and now. Love is not about setting aside our denial and fantasies, purifying ourselves. It’s about accepting these “impurities” as the reality of what is flowing through us in this moment. It’s about opening our hearts to ourselves and to one another. And doing so imperfectly. Humanly.
We are addicted to not being here now. I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling; I want to feel something else. I don’t want reality to be what it is; I want it to be something else. I don’t want to be where I am; I want to be somewhere else. I don’t want to be the way I am; I want to be some other way. I don’t want to be in this moment; I want to be in the next one. I don’t want to be in the present; I want to be in the past or the future. We are addicted to not being here, feeling the way we feel, in this moment. Thus, we are addicted to an imaginary time, an imaginary me, an imaginary other, an imaginary experience, in the future when “all will be well.” This is our basic addiction. Food, drugs, alcohol, s*x, fame, and food are just tools we use to run away from the reality of our inner life now to an imaginary experience always receding away into the future.